OCR | Washington and Lee University (2025)

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1911

ASH I :'-JCTON t\:\'D I £E stands suprem e <~mong the mstitutions of the South
111 the matter of boating interests. for 1t IS the on I~· C ni1·ersi ty to maintai n
new,; which compare fa1orably with .my of the ,;o-ca ll ed "bi g colleges."

E ve ry year a t the f111als the race be tween th e two boat clubs, th e H arr~· L ee an d
th e Alb er t Sidney, serl'es to attrac t record-b1ea kin g crowds, for the race once see n is
ne\cr forgotten.

The a ttr aclive sce nes a lon g the river, the decided partizanship of th e

spectator s, the bright colors of the rcspecllw c lubs floating on th e breeze, a nd las t, but
not leas t, the exc itement of th e race, co mbin e to form o~1e of the mo st pleasing e1 cnt s
of co mm ence ment.
L ast ~ ·car the honors

111

the fnst crew race w ent to th e 1-l.nry L ees, bu t this del ca t

was so mew ha t ,o ftt'n ed for the A lbert S idney a dhere nt s when the seco nd A lbert S idney
fuur c rossed th e line ahead of the seco nd H
The time in both el'ent s

\':as exceedin g ly good.
E1er since 187 -1 th is clu b riv a lry ha s been in ex iste nce, but last year the boatin g
interest b eca me mor e of a co ll eg iate fun ct1on when. after th e co mmence ment race, tiH·
tw o fir st crew s comb ined int o an eight -oared crew with \\'ill iam Hogue as co xsw a in.
A race w as th en arranged with the Ri ch mond 13 oa t Club on th e J a mes R1v er, and whil e
1ve were defea ted by a sca nt length. the race w as 1 irtu a ll~· a victory for \ \' ash in gton a nd
Lee, th e un familiarity of th e cou rse a nd th e short length of tim e th a t the crew ha d b ee n
rowing to ge th er gi \·in g th e l~i ch mon d eigh t an undue advan tage. This year, how ever.
both clubs haw d ete rmined not on ly to win the c lu b race, but to ca rry the colors of
\ Vashington and L ee o1·cr th e finish line ahead of the Hi ch mond cre w , a nd if d etermina tion co unt s for anything thi s ,·il'l ory is already assured.

:!lfi

COACH POLLARD

:!17

COACH ORTH

A laba ma
A rk ansas
Brazil . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . .
California . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Connec licul
Districl of Columbia . . . . . . . . . .
Ec uador . . . . .
. . . . .. . . . . . .
Florida . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Geo rgia . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Ill inois . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Kansas . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Ken lucky . ............ ........ . .........
Louisiana . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Maryland . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
1\lassachuse lls . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

19
21
I
I
3
16
I
17
17
I
I
21
17
13
2

1\lissouri . . . . . . . . . . . . . ... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Monlana . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

3
I

New J ersey
2
2
New Mexico .
New York . . . .
.............. 8
Norlh Carolina . ............ .. . . .... ... . 28
Norlh Dako la . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . I
Ohio ......... .. ................. ... .... -t
O kl ahoma . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . S
Panama . . . . . .
............... I
Pennsylvania
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13
Persia . . . . . . . .
I
Russia . . . . . . . . .
.............
I
Soulh Caroli na . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
II
T enne ssee . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
2-t
23
T exas . . . . . . . ... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Virginia . . . . . . . . ..................... 27S
\Ves l Virginia
................... S9

~:~~~~;;pi .. .'.·.·.·.·:.: ::::: :::::: ::: ::: :. I~

630
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ROBE RT D. R\ 1\ ISE Y .
\'\ 'ILLIA I\ 1 ..-\. E RWI N

PRESIDENT
VIcE-PRESIDENT

RAYS. S MI T H

.SECRETARY -TREASURER

E.. FLEI\ II NG BUR l-:. .

P RESS CORRESPONDEI'T

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FRED KELLER

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. . C1co rgetown Pr e p

11 , \RRY J OSE Pll I I ANN J.\ , TREASURER .

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joH N ALEX AN DER BowM . \ N

R oBER r LowARD R o\ ALL
R M \ DOLPH C aDMA N SHAW

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f..;. EN~ ET II R AY NOR COBB

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IDfficcrs
Jac ksonvill e

D. Y E RK ES .. . ... . . . .. .. PRESIDE NT . . .

Oca la

E . B. G R E E NE . . ..... Vi CE-PRE SIDENT.
P.

ALTMAN . . . . . . . . SE CRETARY-TREASURER .. .

. . .. Tampa

\V . H. AB R AMOV ITZ . . HISTORIA N . .. .... ..••... . • •.. Tam pa

Cl3cm bcrs
R. F.

J. L.
J. E .
J. N.

G.~R CI A .

BLAC KW ELL ...

.. . . .............. . .... ... ..... ... ... . .. .... Jac ksonville
. . . . ... ....... .. ..... . ............ . .......... .. . . . ... ..... Ja sp e r

Y o NCE ... ... ............ ........ ........... • ........... • ....... . .......... Tallaha ssee
D AN IEL .. ..... ... ................. ................... . . ............... ....... Chipl ey

\V. 0. SHEPPARD ........................... .. ... ...... . .. ..................... .. Lake Ci ty
R. L. A ND ERSON .. .............................•....••.... • ...................... ..... O ca la
R. A. S COTTI .. ... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ... T a m pa
II. P. M ACFA RLANE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . \ V est Tam pa
R.

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Y ERK ES ..... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. ...................... . Jac ksonvill e

C.

R. H o RNE. .. .. . .............................................................. ... .. J asper

H UTCHI NSON ..................................... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Pa la tka

] . P . TH ORNTO N ..................••....•......•.............
A NN UAL B ANQUET, SATURD AY, DE CEMBER

223

. ......... . P e nsacola

2, 1911

Officers
I 'RE,ii>F ~ l

LI-.L .\ S I ILL'I
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Su

B. Si\11111

Rr T·\IH

I RLA>l'RLR

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LEE

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8.\R:-IWELI.

CH.\S.

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BROOKS

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G·\RMANY

P.

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GRoO\ ER.

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RANDOLPH-MACON

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CLUB

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.SECRETARY AND TRF..ASURER
. . Ri NG-TUM PHI R EPORTER

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C. B. SAUNDERS
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R oGERs

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F R EDER IC !-.:: \V. ;\1 c WAN F:..

.. . PRESIDENT

H :-\ROLD L. LY NN .. .

J.

R.

. . VI CE- PRESIDE NT

RI C HARDSON ........ ....... .

.SECRETARY-TRE \SU RER

THOMAS S. 1-.::IRI-.:: PAT RI C I-.:: ................ ... ...... .

Dthrr Q3cm bcrs
L. R. CRAICH ILL
BLAND TERRY
CARTER GLASS

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j .\CK 1-.::IRK PATRICK

\V. W . SMITH
L. A. DILLON
G. 1\1. PE NIC K

\V. D . LA NGHORNE

0. B. BARKER. j R.
L. N . CoFFEY
F . M. DAVIS

E. \ V . SoMERS
I lonorary M e mbe r

DR. jOH N H. LATANE

227

. . CoRRE SPO NDENT

MISSISSIPPI CLUB
l\1 o r To : "D o o ther s Le fo te thev d o vou. "
CoLORS: B ro n ze a nd L tgl.t Bl~ e .
.
Ft 0\\'ER: 1\l ag no li a.
F AVORITE D RI'IK: S hea th Gown Cor kt a.! .
PRODLICTS: Colt on, N tggers a nd !.l ules.

Dfficrrs
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NORTH
CAROLINA
CLUB
Officers
CHARLES ROBERT BA ILEY

PRESIDE NT

JOSEP H iVIANSON TURBYFILL.
CYRUS Me LA \VSON

DE

ViCE· PRE SiDE NT

ARMON .....

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F . 1\1 MIT C HELL
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C. M. Rw
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Officers
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Conf ed era te Gray a nd Maroon .

i\l oTTo-"Y nu ca n be wha tever y ou reso lve to be."

£!Officers
.. PRESIDEN T

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L. R O B I N SON
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\V. S HOWALTER

C H AS . M . SWITZER

TENNESSEE
Officers
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TEXAS CLUB
®fficcrs
...... . PRESIDENT
. . ... V1cr.- PRESIDENT
. .... tREASURER
. . .. .... .. SECRETARY
. . RI NG-TUM PHI REPORTER

FRANK M. MOOR E. . . . . .
JOSEPH G. GLASS ..
CLA RENC E C. GE IS EL!\ IAN .. .
CEC IL C. GRAY . . . .... . . . ... . .
HOMER G. PR ICE ........ .

Other C'dcm [Jcrs
F. j. BREA KER
M. M. CRANE

J.D. W ATTS
M. A. WESCOTT, j R.

E. D. FRE NCH
0. T. HE NRY
G. 0. McCROH AN
C. F. McFARLAND
]. R. NEAL
RoY SATTERFIELD

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£. C. )ALONICK
C. L. D EXTER
B. L. BALLARD
W ALTER STEVES
J, R. STRO NG
N.

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P1LL01

WEST
VA.
Offi cers
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PIFRCT BYRON L\NTZ
SEC RET.\RY. TRt..\Sl' RER

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RAMSEY
SAWKINS S HAW
COLLINS
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KIRKPATRICK
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HANNA
PYLE
RICHAR DSON
GoLDMAN
FosTE R
1\ )URRAY
HER NDON
\VILCOX
O WEN
BURKS
LEMM ON

CHA RL ES EDWARD BURKS
\'\ 'ILLI A M J ENKINS WILCOX .
P HILI P \VILH ELI\1 I\1U RRA Y .
IR A LE:\ IMON .
i\1ILLA RD FILLMORE Nl LL. JR ..
CLIF FO RD BURDETT E FOSTER .
PH ILIP PENDLETON GIBSON
THOI\1--\ S SYDNO R KIRKPAT RI CK .
GEO RGE \V ESTLA KE HOPPER
RA NDOLP H CODI\1A N 51--J..\ \'\'.
JOSEPH G IL PIN PYLE..
JO H N GOODWIN H E RNDON. J R..
LA \'\' RENCE EUGENE GO LDI\1.'-, N
JO HN SAMUEL S H ERERTZ .
JOHN DOUGLAS TA YLO R. J R..
HA ROLD I\100Ri\IA N COLLI NS.
JOHN HOFFMAN 5 WKI NS.
ROB ERT DOUGLAS RA MSEY ...
DANI EL BA ILEY OWEN.
JO HN PURVER RI CH ARDSON, J R..
LA FA Y ETTE RANDOLPH HA NNA

EDITOR-11'-C HIE F
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\\ ' ILLIAM L!.ONIDAS , ,.E BH ER

C II.\RLE S EDWARD BL•R;;,

\\ ' ILLI .\M I l ooc. r. s I\ !A NN, JR .

C HAR LE S N o L' R'I. I Ios;oN

TH OMA S DAVIS R ANS0:-.1, J R.

\\ 'ALTER I lll.L M.\N LAGER

R ANDOLP H Coo~I .\N SH.\W

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"

HE N in the fa ll of 190 1 th e Boa rd of Trustees of W as hin gton a nd L ee
Universi ty chose as president a youn g ma n bare ly turn ed thirty, of limited
exp erience, and co mp ara tively unkn own, ma ny fri end s o f th e Universit y h ad
se riou s misgivings as to the wi sdom of th e selecti on, a nd no one had the
propheti c gift to fo resee th a t th e event marked the beginnin g of the most
successful d eca d e in th e history of the College. Th is was not the type
of ma n th e public w as expecting to see appoin ted. It w as a rad ica l d e-

p arture from prereden t to place in the chair successive ly occ upi ed by G enera l R ober t E . L ee , G enera l G. \ V . C urtis L ee , a nd \ Vi lliam L. Wilson , a ma n of
merely academic a tt a inments, of whose existenc e the genera l public w as hardly aware.
N ever did a college board of tr ustees ma ke a happier cr oi ce. This youn g man w as
endow ed by na ture with a for ceful perwna lit y, strong will. kee n intellect , and unu sua l
sagac ity in d ea li ng with men a nd a ffairs-q ua lities whi ch w ould have mad e him a marked
lea d er in a ny fi eld of pu b lic ac tivity.
H e ent ered on th e du ti es of the office with a
d eep se nse of humility, but with who le-soul ed d evotion to the great ta sk before him, a nd
qui ckly won the recogni ti on he dese rv ed.
When he resigned the office in th e fa ll of
19 1 1 he h ad beco me o:-~e of th e most influenti al a nd popul ar citizens of Vi rginia , a nd one
of the most widely known college presidents of th e Sout h.
Wh a t he did for \ V as hin gton an d L ee d urin g th ese len years of se rv ice is we ll
known. H e rea li zed tha t the first thin g to be done w as to b uild up the student bod y.
A n instituti on fo stered in its infancy by th e gene rosit y of W as hin gton, a nd consec ra ted
la ter by the se rvice of L ee. was no t doing its full duty and could not exp ec t publi c support if it could not enroll more than two hundred students. A coll ege so rich in traditions
w as a bl e to draw fro m a wide territory provided the ter ritory w as pro;:>e rly culti vated.
Dr. D enny app lied himself ass id uously to thi s task an d d eveloped a system which richly
rew a rd ed his effort s. By reach ing out to the more progressiv e co mmunities of th e South .
\vhe re good >chools were to be foun d, he not only·attra cted numbers. but grea tl y imp roved
the personnel of the stud en t body, sec uri ng youn g men wh o w ere far better perpa red for
college th an those formerly enroll ed.
Ano ther thin g whi ch a ttr acted Dr. D enny's a ttention from the first was the imp rove ment of the pl a nt a nd equipment. H e re moved fro m th e class rooms the old stov es
whi ch form erl y divid ed the a tt en ti on of th e ~ rof esso r , as we ll as of the stud ents, a nd
insta lled a cent ra l heating p la nt; be painted the outside a:~d co mpl etely renov a ted th e
inside of the old bu il din gs; he constru cted a se ri es of grar.o lit hi c walks, a nd a dd ed three
fi !1e buildin gs- the do rmit ory, R eid H all. a:~ d the li brary- to tr e ca)llpus. These a dditions
to th e group of buildin gs provided new an d amp le acco mmod a ti ons for severa l of the
d ep a rtments which ba d b ee n \·ery much cra mped in th eir old q ua rt ers , especia lly phy sics,
engineering, chemistry, an d econo mi cs a nd politica l scirnce. These d epartments w ere
thus given the opport un ity to do far better work th an had been possib le under for mer
conditions.

DR. G. H. or.NNY

In the matter of finance D r. D en ny showed himse lf a master. When he took charge.
the U niversi ty wa s ca rryin g a large floating debt. and every year showed a deficit of
severa l thou sand dollars. H e at once put a stop to this state of affairs , and in a few
years paid off th e flo a tin g d eb t.
H e completed the ra ising of the Wilson fund, a nd
secu red th e money for R eid H a ll and for th e Ca rnegie Li brary. Other gifts ca me in,
so me as th e result of ea rli er beq ues ts a nd others as th e result of his own effort s, so that
when he resigned he left nearly double the endowme nt that he fo und .
Dr. Denny would be the last man to regard his work here as co mpl ete. H e fully
rea li zed th at there were many things which of necessity had to be left undone, but which
he co nfidently believed would be don e in th e nex t decade. With th e growth of th e
studen t body fro m 200 to over 600 he recognized the need for a la rger fac ulty. This
mea nt a mu ch large r endowmen t, for he was not willing to embarrass th e finances of th e
Un iversity by establishi ng more professorships th an the endowment would justify. Consequently he proceeded conservativ ely. Assistan t professorships were, how ever, established
in th e d epartmen t of econo mi cs and political sc ience an d in the department of biology,
a nd a new professorship in modern la nguages, the old chair being divided into a cha ir of
Te ut oni c a nd a chair of Rom a nce la nguages. A lectureship in Commercial L aw w as a lso
es tab lished and th e number of instructors and assis ta nts in a ll d epart ments grea tly increased.
While it is true th at most South ern colleges a nd uni versiti es grew a nd prospered
during thi s period, it is eq ua lly true that none ma d e such rapid strid es as W ash in gton and
L ee. Dr. D enny infused new life into eve ry d epa rtment of the University, kept it prominen tly before the public, an d left it in a more co mmandin g position th a n it had ever
occ upi ed before.
So far w e have discussed what Dr. D enny did for W ashin gton and L ee, but thi s
sketch would not be co mpl ete if it did not sta te th e conv erse proposition- wh a t Washington
au d L ee did for D r. D en ny. Although a gradu a te, in th e ordinary sense, of H a mpd enS idney a nd th e University of Virginia, he is neve rth eless a W ashin gto n a nd L ee product,
for it was here th a t hi s grea test menta l d evelopment took place, a nd w e are proud to claim
him as an a lumnus. H e en tered here without administrative experience a nd le ft a fullfl ed ged college president. Wit h th e tin ge of grey tha t ca me into his hai r as th e result of
the cares a nd responsibilites of his office ca me a lso experie nce a nd wisdom far beyond his
years. In th e performance of hi s high duti es he d eveloped ma ny striking tr aits and chara cteristi cs of mind a nd heart. S tudents w ere often a maze d a t his remark ab le facility in
re membering na mes a nd faces. H e never fo rgot or failed to recognize a nybody, a nd
little that took place in the li fe of the college co mmunit y escaped his keen observation.
His service as president of the S tate Boa rd of C harities a nd Correc tions, a nd as a
tru stee of the Carnegie Foundation for the A dv a nce ment of Teachin g, as w ell as his
p residential office, brought him into cont ac t with th e grea t world of affairs, a nd with the
passi ng of years his menta l horizon continu a lly widened. H e developed into a public
spea ker of rare force, a nd in private conversa ti on his keen ana lytical power, his lucid
sta tement of fact, and his magnetic personalit y a lways comm and a tt ention .
Such is th e man whom, in the full tide of his powers. V/ ash ington and Lee has
given to Alabama with reluctance, but with a mother's blessing.
j oHN H o LLADAY LATA NE.
2-15

\!: 1Jr HAT an mterr eg num 1 ~ d a nge1o us llld~ be a ge nera l pnnc1ple, but 11 i~ a
pnnnple to \\ hJCh th ere are
\ \ 'hen D1 . D enny re-

signed th e pre~JdenC\ of \\ ' ash mgton ,md Lee man ~ an al um 1u s, possibl~·
rnam· a stud ent, '' o:~ d ered ho\\ th e l'nJ\eJsJty \\ould pass through th e period
\\ hJCh mu st ens ue untd a ne\\ presiden t assumed ofhce.
no\\ hy, and

ds

Half thi s time is

yet th ere IS no e\ Jcle'!re that the reJ:JS ha\ e been d1 o;:: ped or

are l1e1n g held lefs fu mly . or tllguid ed than in th e pas t.
doing it JU SI a s ~ u ccessf ull y as ever.

She is still "doing business at th e old st.1rd ." and
To be sur e, there are tw o heads in stea d of o:~e, but

th ere is no di sad,·anta ge in thi ~ if there is alwa ~· s harmon ~·. as in the present i-stance.
Such a stat e of a ffair s would hard ly ha\(' bee:~ po~sible had there not been tw o men,
brothers, t>ach co nn ec ted with \\' ashi ng to:J and L eP by inhentance a:~d by a sen· ice w e ll
over a q ua rter of a ce ntury

111

du ration, reared

1n

1t s a tm osphere an d imbu ed with its

traditions. familiar with it ,; e\ e ry d eta il of acad<'m ic and wcial !if e, read y an d q ualifi ed
to carr y on the e xec utive duties, with full applO\a l and co-opera ti on of trustees, fac ult y
an d stud ent s.
L<>ars witne ss.

Th a t th eir work is being w e ll done th e present conditiOn ol the U ni\ ersity
To tl, e m, th e Campbell brot hers, j o hn Lyle an d H arr~· D ona ld, w e

d " di ca te thi s a ppr ecia ti on.
The na me of Ca mpbe ll has long heen asmc iat ed with \\ 'as hin gton College and
\ Va sh in g ton and L ee Un i wr~ity.
here i:~ 184 3.

The fa th er of john Lyl e and Ha rry Don a ld gra duated

H e. too, w as a john Lyl e. and I rom I t351 till his death in 1886 he ld

th e cha ir of chem istry a nd geo lo gy in this ins titUtio n.

Thr ee of his bro th e rs were a lso

g ra duat es, and o ne of the m was for a t1me instructor 111 ma th ema ti cs.

Two other so ns

of his w ere g raduat es he re, a t least three neplww~. one gra ndson, a:~other g rand~on is at
pr ese nt in co ll ege, and "~till th ere'~ more to fo llow ."
\ \ 'ashington a nd L ee w ere sur e ly "to th e ma nor born. "

The presea t exec uti\ e hea ds of
Their father's dutiP ,; took him

far beyond th e prec in cts of the Univ ersity, and h e wa s dJ stm gui shed bo th a s che mi st a nd
geologi st.

H e al so interested him se lf much in local ci\i c a ff airs a nd wa s for many yea rs

S uperint en d ent of Schools for R ockbridgP County .

It ha~ lw en naturally with no littl e

pride th at in thi s respec t. as in othPrs, H arry Donald has fo llo,,·ed in his falher's foo tsteps.
I n sp it e of co ll ege dutie s. ce rtainly at tim es 'Pry onero us, h e is secre tary of th e L exin gton
School Board. a nd was lar ge ly instrumental in tl1 e erec tion of the new b uildin g of th e
L exington Hi gh School.

T o hi s co un se ls on the Hoard of H ealth is du e much of the

sa nitary improv e ment o f the town.

F a mili ar, too. as no one e lse with th e physio graphy of

th e region about L exi ng ton, he w as ab le to po int out a so ur ce of pure so ft wat er, and w e
doubt not th at m th e near futur P th e town wall"r supply will be poin ted to as his grea tes t
CIVI C Se f\'JCe.

How \ V ashin gto n a nd L ee could have gott en a lon g without john Lyle Ca mpb ell m
th e p ast thirty y ea rs, on e may w ell as k. S ince 18 77 he has bee n treasu rer of th e institution, a nd most o f thi s time secre tary o f the fac ulty a nd o f th e Boar d of Trustees. H e
w as the fir st o ffi cial w e met as we per form ed c ur initia l ac t o f ma triculation. It w as he
' '' ho helped us find a room a nd boardin g-p lace ; he wh o w as prompt w it h a notic e if w e
were not prompt with ou r aca d emic acco un ts : he who w as leni en t with us in our finan cial
str a it s, a nd even whose dun w as mo re p leasa nt th a n ' orne other men' s thank s. It is he

HA R RY DONA LD CA MP BE LL

w ho a lway s ma kes one fee l a we lco me gu est in hi s office . a nd who is ne,·er too bu sy to
re nd er a ny se r\'i ce within his pow er to a student. His offi ce see ms as w ell to be a ge nera l
home for th e fa culty , a nd w e w ond er how it is possib le for one so o ft en interrupted to
ca rry on his work. Y et th a t the work is don e, and w ell don e. is evidenced by th e finan cial
condition of the University. T o be responsibl e for the productiv e inves tment of nearly
a million of dollars a nd to ha ,·e the ca re of b uil din gs and gro unds represen tin g half as
mu ch more ; to coll ec t a nd di sbu rse the fees o f more th a n six hundred stud ent s; to act
as secreta ry of fac ulty a nd trustees, and incidenta lly to be a va lued co un sell or on a ll

matters pertaining to the w elfare of the instituti on; to do all tim and to do it well would

IH' a g reat big task for any man; but to do it a ll, and >ti ll IH'

II(' \ t'r too engrossed for a
frien dl y word, never too occ up ied to b e a t the st•nice of his f,•llow man- thi s is john Lyl e

Ca mpbell. It is no w onder th a t a ll the a lumni are hi s friends and that he is e\·er a welcome
gues t at al umni banq uets; tha t to th e men who have go ne forth from these walls he , more
than a ny o ne el se, represe nt s th e institution.

A

tr a nslation from Purga tory to Pa ra di se should b e a happy lot.

For the benefi t

of re ce nt g rad ua tes an d und t>rgra du a tes , be 11 kn own th a t the end of the ma in buildi ng,
from w hi c h, as in time p as t so in time prese nt , th ere emanate fum es which mi g ht ha,· e coml'
from the Inferno. w as once known as Purga tory. ~! ere o ur D ean w as raised and in hi s
you thful d ay s he ld sway . but in du e process of time he wa s gra d u a ted to th e o th er end
o f the buildin g. th en kn own as P aradi se. I t is say in g a goo d d ea l for the teaching knowl ed ge o f a ma n thilt he can han dl e not o nly hi s sp ecia lt .v of geo lo gy and min eralog~·. but
il lso c he mi stry and biol ogy an d phys iologY an d hy gien e. F3ut a half -dozen ge nerations of
stud en ts can tes tify that every thin g th a t H arry Campbel l tau ght was well ta u ght. I nci de nt a ll y may w e hope tha t in the fu tur e he may be per mitt ed to co:~centrak hi s energies
th <~ t wh ich he has sou ght to make his life work .
H e has a lready brou ght reputatio :1
to \ V ashin g ton an d L ee by hi s geo lo gica l inv es ti ga tion s. a nd he wi ll brin g y et more; the

0:1

aca d e mi c p ossibiliti es in th e deve lop ment of thi s department. so fund a menta l in the
indu stria l prog ress of th e 5ou th, need no co mme nt. M ay th e opport unity be hi s!

J\ ma n may possess knowl ed ge a nd b e ab le to Impart it. y et fa il of success as a
teac her.

H e mu st b e <1b le to giv e him self to hi s stud ent ;;, a nd he mu st be himself w or th

th e givin g. A stud ent who has pa ssed throu gh th e co urses in th e geo logica l or bio lo gic a l
dep a rtment s a t \V as hin gton a nd L ee ha s ind eed learned ge o logy or biology, bu t he ha;;
lea rn ed so me thin g mo re: he has beco me more o f a ma n; he has beco me better fitted and
1110 re eage r to se rve hi s fe ll ow ma n : he ha s felt the impress of il true teacher.
To speak of l-l arry C a mp bell 's se rvi ces to the Un iv ersity out :w nu ld tou ch upo n w ell -nigh ewry ph ase of co ll ege ac ti \ iti es.

\ \' e mu st, howev er . a llud e

to hi s fu rtheriln ce of every a th leti c int erest, il nd espec ia lly his work in co nn ection with
th e dewlop me nt o f the \ 'Fil so n Athl eti c Fil' ld. \ V e can hard ly imagin e wh at athle ti cs
wou ld be he re ha d w e no \ V il so n Field, a nd witho ut detractin g in the least from the
ea rli e r ser vi ces of Profes>or Hump hreys a nd the recent e !Tecti\ e labors o f Dr. P o ll ard, \ H '
may note th a t from fir st to la st e,·e rythin g has hee n d one with till' co ntinu ed co un sel of
o ur D ea n. as a co ntinu o us member an d for se vera l years c h airman ol th e F ac uit y A thleti c

C om mitt ec.

Wh l' n a few yl'ars ago the growth of th e Univ ersity mild<' it nl'cessa ry to appo int
so me o ne to ta ke c ha rge of ma ny matt e rs which in thl' d ays of small thi ngs w ere carried
o n by presid l' nt or fa cult y. it was recog ni zed th at th e o nly man for th e pl ace w as H arry
Ca mph t•ll . A s D l'a n, mo re an d more duti es d l'\·ol\"!'d upon him. not merely in matters
aca dt·mi c, hut a lso fr eq uentl y durin g the absenc<' of the presid l'n t matter s disciplinary ;

hence he ha s co me ever more in touch wi th the whole studen t body, a s he had previo usly
been with those in hi s own d epartment, and it is need less to a dd that his ex tendin g
influence has bee n for th e grea t adva nt age of a ll who have bee n brou ght into cont ac t with
him. It w as thu s onl y na tural th a t with the resignat ion of President D enny his duties
should fall upo n th e D ean and Treas urer, for this h ad bee n the case whenever Dr. D enny
had bee n obliged to be aw ay from the Univ ersity. It was merely a n a lmost unnoti ced
trans ition, as th e Ca mpbell bro thers beca me, by ac t of the trustees, Ac tin g co- Presidents
o f W ashi ng ton and L ee. W e can ass ur e our a lumni that no int eres ts of th e University

JOHN LYL E CA MP BEL L

have suffered at their hand s, a nd w e think th e student body would be sa tisfi ed to have
the present conditions of a uthority continue indefinitely. W e are glad it lasted long
enough for our D ea n to be honored with the well-merited d egree of Doctor of Science at
the recent great an niv ersary ce lebra tion at the University of Pittsbur g. We only regre t
that the Treasur er was not eq ua lly honored. W e are cer tain it is seldom that a new
executive co mes, as wi ll Pr eside nt Smith, to a n institut ion where he has two such men
to depe nd upon in " lea rnin g the rop es" and ge ttin g a grip on things.

Fralres Campb ell, nos salu tamus!
2-t!l

~'.lrr~ibrnt ::
jl)rnrr 1Loui£l

~tnit1J.

ll1J . D.

HORTL Y after the resignation of Dr. D enn ~·. the B oard of ·1 ruslt'es of
\ \' ashington and L ee l ' ni\ ers ity , appointC'd a committ ee consistin g of Dr.
C. 13. Strickler, th e !~e c tor, and l\1C'ssrs. Paul l\1. Penick and Lu cian II.
C oc ke, Trustees, to consider all tlw avail.tble men lor tlw presidenc~· of thi s
noble in s titutio:-~ .

Fully aware of tht·ir responsibility, tim committee can-

vasst·d th e fi eld tl"orough ly. and fmallv decided to recom mend to th e Bo.trd.
Pres id ent H enry loui s S mith, Ph. D .. LL. D . now at the head of
Davidson College, North C aro lina. J a~ uar y 2-1. at a sp ecial called meetin g, th e Board e mph atically endorsed th e reco mmendatio n of the Committee b~· the u na ni n~ o u s election of Dr. Sm1th. who signifi ed his accepta:-~ce February 26. a:-~d will en ter
upon the dutie s of hi s office july I. 1912. The choice is an admirab le one. It will mee t
with th e co rdial approval of all :-:outhern ed ucator s, and will win the hearts of the alumni
and friend s of \ Va shin gton and L ee Univ ers ity.
Dr. Smith has made a decided success in hi s present post lion.

In

190 I,

when he

wa s elect ed preside :1l of David,-on Co ll ege. this insti tut ion had 122 student s.
'\ow it
ha s 3 50, a ratio of increase almost c-xactly paralleled by the similar increase at \\ 'ashmgt on and L ee University durin g th e sa me period. Durin g the last d ecade the areas of
it s patronage have doubled; the entrance requir ements have been raised to fourteen points:
th e fee s coll ected from students ha\ e treb led. and th e mat eri a l eq uipmen t of th e institution
ha s been mor e than doubled. The teaching forc e and th e la bora tory facilities ha,·e kept
pa ce with the ma terial ach-anc e mcnt.

Thi s is an impress iv e parallel to th e work of Dr.

Denny during the period of hi s p residenc y at \\' ashington and Lee.

The two presidents

were elected the sa me ~· ea r and their achievements have bee n st rikin gly similar as to
increa sed a tt endance, wider area of patronage, greatly increased material eg ui'lm ent, ex·
lt•nded edu cat ional opportunities, and enhanced reputation. Mor e ha s been acco mplished,
perhaps, at \ V ashin g ton and Lee, hut th e field here is wider, the opport umtic s mor e
numerom, and the in stitution bPtter known than D.wid son College.

Though thi s hnt>

institution over which Dr. Smith now presides ha s alw ays been conspicuou s for its solid
edu ca ti onal advan tages, th e a rea of its reputatiOn ha s been grea tly extended durin g the
pThou gh born in Greensboro, N.

C.,

july 30,

1859.

man~· ti es bind Dr. .Smith

to th e S t.1te of \'ir ginia.
His father, th e well-known divine, Dr. ja cob Henry Smith.
wa s rea red in Lexin gton, \'a .. and was gra duat ed from \V ashington Co ll ege , now \\ ' ash in glon and L ee Univ e rsity: hi s moth er wa s the dau ghter of Jud ge F.. R. \\ ' atson, of
Cha rlott es vill e. and hi s wife is a member of th e Dupuy family. of Nottoway: and
hi s hroth cr , Dr. C. /\lphon so Smith, is Professor of I:O.ngl ish at th e L'ni\ersity of Virginia.

Furthe r, he look hi s de gre e, Ph. D .. a t the UniH·rsit~· of \'ir ginia in
~50

1891.

DR. H EN RY LOU IS SMI TH

In 188 1 he grad uated a t D avid~on College, ranking secor d
I b86. the sa n,e institution awarded him the degree
( 'aro lin a conferred LL. D. upon him in 1906.

111

his class.

L a ter, in

1\1. r\ ., and th e University of North

Durin g th e y ears 1887- 190 I, he occupied the C ha ir of Physic>, an d w as co nsidered
not on ly one of the finest teac hers in the insti tuti on. but a lea dl'r in al l tho se college ac ti\ itl es th .1 t rendered co ll ege life so allractive to the normal student.

N o mea n ath lete himself.

he to ok a spec ial int erest in a ll ath le ti c sport s, a nd w as the prime mea ns in sec urin g a
Young !\ l en's Chri~ ti an Associa ti on buildin g an d a gy mna si um on the ca mpu s.
,\fter he had gra du a ted a t D a , ·idso n C::.llege, he wa s principal of S elma Academ~·.
North Caro li na, from hi s twenty -second to hi s tw enty -seventh year, and achie ved phenomenal success. S tar tin g with tw enty -two p upil s in an old lod ge room, he ended with one
hundred in a w ell eq uipped mode rn buddin g. Thi s in cident is no t intrinsica lly import a nt,
but it show s his initia tiv e and ea rly a ptitude for lea d ers hip.
!1y 'irtue of hi s positwn an d a ttammen ts. D r. Smith is a me mber of a number of
prominent ,;c ien tifi c a nd edu ca tion a l assoc ia ti ons. H e has a im b een president of the :'\ or th
Carolina T eac hers' Association of th e Hi gher Educa tional Section of the So ut hern
Educational Association. an d \ice-president of th e Ame ri ca n Society for Broader Ed u ca tio n.
From hi s ea rly ma nhood, wh e n he won the ora tor' s medal in the j e ff erson Lit erary
S oc iety a t the L ' nive r; ity of \ 'ir ginia. he has a lw ays bee n an a ttr.t c ti\ e and forceful spea ke r,
and hi > speec hes m p ubli c assemo li es arc no tew or thy e\·ents on those occasions. D eeply
reli gious, yet with no tin ge of can t or intol erance, he is especia ll y gif ted in a ddr esses on
mor a l or 11ibli ca l topi cs.
H is Chris ti a nity, being of a , ·ery man ly type , a ppea ls with
3pec ial fo rc e to yo ung men.
A s Dr. Smith h as a charming persona lit y , cons umma te tac t, is unif or mly co urt eous
a nd cons iderate a nd has hi gh ed uca ti ona l ideal s, he will be w ar mly w elcomed by the
fac ult y a nd student s of \ Vashin gton an d L ee, a nd if a career of w ell -ni gh unbr oken suc cess is any ea rn es t of th e futurt:', th e Boa rd is to b e congrat ul ated on th e wi sdom of th eir
choi ce. T o D r. S mtth w e b eli e, ·e th e presidency of \ Va shin gton and L ee will afford
grea ter ,;cope for th e e xerc ise of his var ied powers; a nd the Uni' ersi ty it self. a lr ea dy so
pro >perous, will extend eve n further the sphere of it s b eneficent infl uence.

~r!Jti tno nial £l
T TH IS jun ct u re w e feel th a t it will not be amiss to publish a few tes timonials
which emana ted from various sou rces upon the election a nd acceptance
of Dr. H enry L oui s Smi th to the presidency of W ashington an d L ee
University. The most no teworthy of these is tha t by ou r former president,
D r. G. H . D enny, an d is such a fin e tribut e to both D r. Smith a nd W ashington an d Lee th at w e ca n not refrain fr om publishing it. This lett er
w as not written for public ation, nor was it ob ta ined from either Dr. D enny
or D r. Smith. It co mes to us throu gh the medium of a mutual friend a nd
we take this li berty of publishin g it. The letter is as follows:
February

27, 1912.

DR. H ENRY L ou ts SMITH.

Davidson, i\'. C.
I\1Y DE ~R DR. SMITH - Telegrams from Vi1giniR bring the de l ightful an nouncemen t of your accep t·
ance of th e presidency of \Vashin~lon and Lee. I need hardly say lo vou thai I am gra ti fied thai you
have made this choice.
God bei n g my witn ess, I hRve never had, and I never expec t lo have. a n y deeper o r more lastin g
affec ti on for any inslilulion th a n I have for the grea t college over whose desti ny ,vou are lo p reside. I
recog n ize the wre n ch and the sorrow thai your action will cos! you, but I believe th at in the comin g
year s you will n eve1 have rea son lo regret th e choice you have m ade. \ Vashing lon a nd L ee has a
grea t a nd unique oppor tunity . II looms large in the imagination of the nation, and espec iall y o f th e
people of the e n lir e South. I have been deeply g1a lified in my !ravels throughout the lowe1 South to fi nd
that the institu tion appeals lo the affectio n of th e grea t mass of pe op le of thi s sec tion as no other A mer·
ICan instilutio n.

lt

5la nds in a

cl<'l5S

by itself

in its

method of

~overn m e nt

and in

it~ grea t

historic se ttin g.

I ts pic turesque locahon in the Virginia mount ai ns is also a vital fac tor in th e appeal th at it makes
to the people of th is sec tion of the South . The day will not come whe n you n g me n of the best fa mili es
of the lower Sou th will n o t value an opportunity of spending four years in a coll ege of such uniqu e
traditi ons, and wi th such a superb loca tion. " " "
Y ou can take my word for it, tha i the si tuation a t \ Vashin gton and Lee is sound lo the core, a nd
that there is no human power that ca n impede the progress and th e rapid growth o f an ins:i tution that
is in every way e ntitl ed lo th e respec t and th e affection of the American people. and which enjoys this
respec t a nd affe c tio n lo a larger degree than you will be able lo undeJ sla nd until you have become
identified with it, and ca n learn for yourself w ha t a host of friends \'\ 'ashi n gton and L ee ha s in eve ry
sec tion of the American Union.
Speaking for myself. I ca n say that no honor tha t has come to me, or that caa come lo me, will be
more hi gh ly va lu ed th a n th e ho nor and the privilege of serving an insti tuti on that, in a ll the grea t essential s, sta nds second to n one in the n a tion. " " "
I want yo u to fe el that no on e in a ll th e world will rejoice wi th you in its onward career more
heartily than I. I sta nd ready to help you in every possible way . I want you lo feel th a t you can com mand me a l a ny crisis, and call on me to render any service that I ca n render. I wish for you the utmos t
happi ness a nd prosperi ty in the grea t w or k, a nd I congratu late you upon the superb oppor tunity a nd th e
fi ne ca ree r that is now open to you.
Assuring you of my regard, believe me,
l\1ost si ncere ly your o,
GEORGE 1-1. DE:>NY.

A ch urch paper says:
"The1e is n o t the least reason lo doubt that his aclminislralion at \'\ 'ashin~lon and Lee will be
as highly successful a nd as commandin g in results as has been his eleven years in ihe presidency a t Davidson, which he lays aside w ith the good wishes and benedic tion a nd pra)ers of frie nds, uncou nt ed in
number, on th e campus and beyond 11 , in the town and away from it."

3Jn ffirnturiaut

FRANK TURNER HOWARD. '71-'74

LOYAL ALUMNUS

AND

LIBERAL BENEFACTOR

FRANK TURNER HOWARD

~ttt'br

·· Ur

,.\ lat e ; \nwrican l\ l orah ty play ,

111

··

four dCt s. with prologu<'.

JlROl. OGl I"

In lim p>et·e 11 IS sci forlh how !ha l upo n a day " you lh of our lune a nd t·ounlry doth se l I ord1 in
"·arrh o l I dtH a lum
li e hath heard. early and Iale, !hal slw is a ian damsel. and !hal w11h hn all
lhmgs should he ol Ius h ec k and ca ll. h111h er, he ha th J,een !old !hill she is In he sough ! and cotn!t-d
al a( ddrmu·s and m ~l llull o n!' of lcarmng, wi11 Lh she hcqu t• nl s an varwus and sundry dn;g,use-::..
( )ur
yuu lh doth, !h e rcfo lc, sci oul. and his ad ve nlu1 es arc he1c related lo guide. ass» ! and for ·:w arn thoso·
who may allend our p1esc nl play.

Acr I.

Sc E I"E

I.

[B el01e yc college gale. In S ep tember. 1-:nler Y e Stude m com pa ny w11h Ym ta, who \\!"dleih upo n
Ius lapel a w!ute nhhon, th e latt er ca rrym g baggage.
\ 'anou~ voices some swee t, some hdr sh, sou nd
f 1om surrou ndm g f,uddm gs. ]
\\ 'hal may !hose voic!'s b e)
) "e Stude:
rm cu: Nay; !hose arc !h e ca llm gs and !he inv ilall on s of vanous fellows you shall nw e l.
r e .'iludc: Oh I I ,ha ll he glad lo mee ! a ll of !h em, for I ha ve mu ch fear of lonclm .. ss and
ho mesa kn ess.
) llH Ndv : vc shall no! be ~lad lo mee l 1\>cm all. lor som e a'e ve rv evil. ll> lhcr come!!-, one
a- 1unmn g. and !u." IS~ sore kna ve. li e goe lh ahou l 1n bla c k, and Ius nam e w e .speak no!.

fEnt er, "rushing," and m mu ch haste, a tall f1 ~u1 e m
u11cc lo Y e S tu de. [

blal k. who

ign01es

Ymca and 1~\anres at

r c .\Ian in/3/uclr: .-\hl hal .. \hal Grcel m gs ' In deed. II deligh!e!h me lo w elcome lhco . • \w ord
w11h thee. p lease.
)" c Stu,/e: Lr ~r '' Y es, and I am Joyed lo mec! !hce. \ly name is Stud e; mv father
T he .\Ian: P a1do n, bul I mu sl haslen: 1h c 1e he many un lo w hom I musl go !his dd v. rl wrcforc.
Ius! lo m v w mds, and heed !h e m for co unsel m 1h v need.
)" ,. Stude: Speak on ; I allend
T he .\I an: Y e sec k In pay cour l lu on<· Ed uca l10n )
)" c Stu,/c: Y ea, so; I lam would w ed h e1.
"/ he .\fun: I am well acquam!ed w11h her. and know all hc1 w.ty s a nd wd cs. !I ced well my
words: She IS nol to be h :HJ by open rcurts 1u p. o,p lnma(y, l aL t and mu ch it.Jlfl81l'OI shu nnin ~ )011 mu ~l
needs e mpl oy. T!, crelore, see k o ul o lh c1 f11cnd s wllll h I shall ~ ivc 1•nl u liH"c. T hc1e is Y c Cali c !
Sh e is yc 5p111 l o f m1rth m ye co llt' pt• . She hauntetl} p;ul ou!S, .m d p· dancet- ~ nd places qf ;~Ieasure.
·rhy money s l~t· help e th th ee lo spe nd. and m 1elu1 n s!w g 1v e th the-e g1ea t JO)' aLoundm g. ln ~t·rundo:
'l ,. C.ondfellow, he g>velh no! a da n n. li e IS WI Se In !he ways of !he \ndd
\ nd w hile he kno\\elh
no ! Dam e J:duca lih i~;hly I commend lum.
F u , illS lnumph Inough t glo . v lo v e . \I rn a 1\laic r. a n d w11h h1m Dame 1·.d ura
liO n goe lh gladl y.
)" c S tude:
Thy cou n se l sre melh no! ill. and I would mee t thy lnrnds.
Th e .\fun: Y e sha ll. I mus l o n, bu l lo- morr ow I sha ll mec l th ee. Fa> ew e ll.
[ hi! The 1\lan in 13lark]
) "mra: .·\nd I. lou, nu iS I now leave !Ill'<'. But. lruly, 1h1s fe llow counsel s ill. Come yc, car h Tuesday m gh l. lo me m m 1nc room, a nd good wo ,ds sh all tho u hear. . \d1 cll .
.\ srnall cloud ·' PP<"diS as Y c Stude go•s oul, and,
[I .XII Ymca lo !h e righl, Y c ~lude In th e lei!

I t'SIIdlmg

f or an 111 :,lant,

follows l11m.]
CuJlr ,\1:-1

ACT

II.

S cENE

I.

[O ne wee k la ter. Y e S tude's roo m m y,. d or matory . Ye room is \ery sma ll . ye wa ll s a re whi te.
Y e fur natu r,. is a tab le, a chair a nd a bed. T here are no pic t l·r~s on ye wa ll s. Y e S tud e si tte tl1 in ye
rhair. di lige nt ly studyi ng. A knoc k on ye d oor is heaa d .[

lows.

) 'e Stu,/e: Co me.
[The openi ng door d iscloses a sma ll fig ure, be nt and holl ow-ches ted.
The cloud is shape less. hu t a head appeare th therein. [
) 'c
) 'e
) 'e
)'e

H e ent ers. a nd a cloud fol-

Grind: Good af tern oon. sir. I a m Y e Gri nd .
Stude: Oh. sir. I a m ho nored. Si t ye in th e cha ir .
Grind ( si lt ing) : Tha nk yc.
Stude ( si ts upo n th e bed ) : \'eri ly. I have heard mu ch of one cousi n of thin e--a Mi ss Edu ·

cation bv name.

)'e' Grind: Y ea. a nd I wi ll glad ly cou nse l thee how to win her. S he love th ma ny books. K erosene a nd study lamps de li ght her muc h more tha n ye d op es and ye bonbons. A pp ly thyself wi th dili pe nre a nd forswear a ll th y ac·~ u ai nl a nces. Be thou staid. steady and stud ious.
) 'e Stude: B ut good sir. thi s would bar all p leasu re. S ure ly she wo ul d not have me thu s )
) 'e Grind: Y ea. verily. Bu t I see thou aal in si ncere. and s'la lt never wm thi, ma ad en . I mu st
wa rn her at once of thee.
[ Exi t Y e G ri nd in mu ch haste.
l\1 a n Brawn. wh o en te rs. lau ghing. [

T he cloud remain s.

Ye G ri nd collides in the doo rw ay \\i th Y e

) · e .\1 on B ro n•n: Y ah! ha I So you have o ff ended a gues t. B ut loo k no t so melancholy: he is.
ind eed, a sma ll bea n, a nd it ma tt ere th not a l a ll. Come fot th w ith me a nd let us lo the a thl e tic fi eld
) 'e Stude: A nd w ha t then ?
\" c /\ / a n B ro nm : ~ ·e wi ll th ere engage th e bod y in exercise; we w ill cl ea nse the blood and y e
mind. a nd rest ye tired bra in .
) 'e Stude: Nay: but I mu st study.
\"e .H un BraiJJn: Bu t you shall stud y be tter af te r e xercise. K en ye no t tha t a ll work a nd
1-- lay ) 'e Stude: Y ea; but I fear there is too mu ch p leasu re in exerc ise.
) 'e ,\Jan BraiJJn: Come. come; you must away wi th me. a nd ye sha ll work be tter.
[E xi t th e twa in .

Th e cl oud follows - snak ey loc ks now show on the hea d. a nd long a rms wav e. [
C U RT AI !';

A CT

II.

Sc E N E

II

[Two weeks la ter. In ye D ope S to re, befo re ye marble fo un aa in . where two whi te-coated a ttenda n's
diS tinguished one-larger a nd handsomer than the res t- he i, one G oodfellow. E n ter Y e S tud e, evident ly embarrassed a nd th irsty. The cloud is close upon hi m. An md tS ti nct face the rem bears a sneer.
a nd the snakey locks see m to show fo rhd long11es. )
) 'c Goodfel/oiJJ (spea kin g very loudl y ) : O h, I say, S tude. have somethin g.
) 'e Stude: Yea . so. and I th a nk th ee.
[T hey dri nk. )

) ' e Goodf el/oiJJ: L et u> go above, wh ere we sha ll fi nd much pleasan t company . some gamin g
and other dri nk .
) ' e Stude : T hy compa ny p lease th me; I wo uld more o f it, a nd will accompa ny thee.
[They go ou t ar m in ar m. a nd the bys ta nders wi nk. one a t a nother , a nd some are heard to say :
"Fish." )

Acr I I I.

Sn:.l': t. I.

jln N ovember. ,\ plea sa nt garden . \l oonli gh l. There art· lice'S and fl o\\t·rs. O n a rusti c s.a l
Ca lt c SJ !s, fingenn g a gu tl ar. The 1\l a n in Rlack recl ines, al mu ch ~a,e. o n the gro una, suppor lod by
pill ow s. Y e Stude SJ is nea r, Jil al rase. but lr ymg lo emulate his companmn. ]

C ulic sin gs:

" \\ 'hen as in si lk my lady goes,
Then, tl w n me lhink s how swee! h • fl ow s
The l1fJUd ac ti o n o f h er clo thes.·
"Ne xt wh e n J cas t mine e ves and sre
Thai brave vtbratto n, ea c h wav fr~e.
Oh, how thai ~ lilleri ng lik.·tl;
"

)' e .\/an : r .ncore! (-' nco re !
)'e Stu de: In deed, th a i is rnos l pl easa nt.
) ' e !I f un: r\rl goi n g lo see II "· ga me to- morrow?
Calie : I I wo uld. indeed, be rny p leasure. I >h ou ld delight muc h lo see thy prowess in an open
field run
r e Stud e : Tht·n will i1 no t J,. th y grace to attend m my comp any?
Calic ( srnilm g ). Ind eed. 11 w uul d be my pleasure.
]\ 'oice s are hea rd approac hm g.
)' e ,\fun:

fh e \!an a nd Stude arise. ]

C orne, fo r htlher are !hose wh o run us .

] Exit The i\lan and Y e Stud e as o lh Ns ente r and ,, ,. profu se ly g r ~e t ed . )

Ac1 III.

Sn. Nr. II.

[l.aller par i o f November. Th e Stude's room as m : \ r l II, Scene I. hu l mu ch c hanged . T hrr<
ar< many pi c tures o n !he wall. Th ere is confu siOn e \idenl. B o lll es a re e rnply on !he tabl e and fl oor.
Y e cloak o f Ye Goodfell ow is th rown over Y<' c hatr . F oo li >a ll paraphetna li a coverelh ye bed. Y e S tud o
SJ is in the window s urveyin~: !he who le in apparent dejectio n. r\nd a Jew el show s upon his waiskoal.
B e hmd him, a nd seemin gly a ll aro und hi m, appears a cloud throu gh whic h lee rs a heavy, sto lid f<~ce, th <
sna key loc ks in ecs lal! c mo ve m•·nl occasion a lly slt ike nu l a l th e head of Y e Stude, b ut fall ju s! sho rl
o f reac hin g htm. En ter Y e Se ni o r, \nlh oul kn oc kin g. ]
) ' e S enior : \\'ell , w ~I J. o ld fell ow, why so sa d ?
) ' e Stu,/c : Oh, va inly haw I sought th is lady . l '. dtu·a ti o n ; much coun sel ha s availed me nol a l
a ll. a nd ma ny f ri ~ nd s have no l yet bro ught me lo her'
) 'e Senior: \'er ily . th e d a me is hard lo wi n . Only gt~a l n u· nl avail~ t h lo her. The co un s~ l thou
h as ! had is n o l ill. save m ti s one·sided ness. E.ac h !I ta! h a th lau l-!111 th e~ hath bee n over- zea lous in hi s
ow n ca use. Thy bell e r coutse li es lr.s Wtlh eac h, and motr wtlh a ll. I.e! the m eac h be th y mt·ans.
i•ul no l thy mas ter. Th iS fell ow Cn nd coun se ls thee most n cdl e nily , hul he liH ih loo w own preachi ng. T ake h, w o td s as thy sc nplure and lwn self as thy ,,·a rmng. S o in the full ne ss of
dtverse pursu tl s you will rou nd th yself so as lo be sl please th y lady fatr.
) 'e Sttlmt· nl s. I will lwed th y wo rds.
) ·c Senior: \\ 'ell and gooJ. Hut. nuw com<, and I will lest thy mmd .
]They exi t. !he S tud e tarryi ng a hoo k

The cloud fall s wnlhin g o n th e Aoor. ]

Acr IV.

S cENE

I.

[ Late in December. Y e Studes roo m, as in the last scene. Y e S tude is disclosed in meditation.
The doo r does not open, bu t as if coming th rough it the cl oud appears. It slowly takes on a shape a nd
aspec t most horrible . It is nei ther human, nor yet bestial. The large head is entirely c row ned w rth
snakes, whi ch strike ou t madly in all directions. Th e large and irre gular nos trils belch fo rth vi le smoke.
The long arms of th e c reature are rough -coated in sc ales and end in barbed hooks. The fee t of th e
thin g are hoof -lik e, but large. and frin ged with horny poi nts. It chants in minor chord s and di•co rd s. )
'' I a m the a utomati c ru le,
I know no fear, nor love no man;
My onl y joy within this school
Is kickin g out a nd cu llm g dow n.
Thy ways I well have seen,
Thy follie s all wro te down.
No good intent do I admit ,
My rule has fou nd thee shor t.
This is my verdic t ; th is decree
Is written on thy name ;
Go out, we ca n not have thee hereThy place is not with us. "
[ \ Vi th a shriek Y e Stude leaps th rough the window, and the monste r laughs.)
CURTAI N AND THL E ND

®1! Little

~igarcttc

S weet little friend of my leisure,
Slen derly graceful in form,
What moments of exq uisite pl easure
Y ou bring with your kisses so warm.
Mid the wrea th of your gold-tinted tresses
M y li ps I can lovingly press,
While you sweetly return my ca resses,
Wr appe d round in your littl e whit e dress.
The warmth of your love o'er me stea lin g
( For to me you co uld never be cold) ,
Your passion ate ardor revea ling.
Brings bliss m a measure untold.
False women, fa lse fri ends, some will warn me,
Ah. well. "there are others." I guess,
So long as her spell is upon me
My secrets I'll always confess
To my own littl e petMy adored cigarette.
- Ex.

Dum r>iuimus r>itlilmtts
,·h' ih~ han,/ j,,Jdh lo do. do it witf, thl) mi~/,t; fo1 tha,
l,nowh·,/Qc, uor n•i,«/cm in tht? Rral'(~ n,hitht•r thou ~on.t. Ec< 1 1''-: .. 10.
fl 'hul

The sands of Ide a1e runnmg al a fwne and rap1\\'e are drawmg cn"r nearer to our sad and (('rlam fale;
L ei us eal, then. let us dnnk. then: let us sow, and lei us '"ap,
I ~r(' \H' smk mlo ohi1V10n m the everlastmg sleep.
The hours of life are Ail lmg who can slay 1he1r onward Ai~h l )
\\ 'l' are haslenmg. m·il tly, surely. lo the gloo m ol endless mghl:
l _ct us jes t, tlu· r1~ let us laugh. th(" n ; let us da nct", .nnd le t us smg;
Dea th is rven now approachin~ lo, tLr shadqw of l1is wing I
The leaves of
On the I ro1en
l .el us work
'Till our hnle

life are falling--one by on•· tlwv flulln dow n :
grass they scalier. sere and vel low, dead and h1own.
then: lei us play. then: let us hoa1d. and lei us spend,
span is over. and we rea'h the dreary e nd.

Th· hlood ol Ide

IS thinning Wllh the progress of the years:
hails are grav With soJro\\, and our eves arr J1m'J WJih lea!s;
l .el us slop. then·. let us resl, tla· n : lei u~ 1h1nk. a nd le i us p a~ .
Soon ou1 wa: m and throLbmg bodws wdl lw cold a nd pulselns clay

l)ul

\\' In (' or Ide IS oozing:
let us quaff it erf' II ~oes;
I t w dl h elp lo ease our a n guiSh: it wil l he lp lo soothe our woes:
l .ct us touch, then: le t us taste, then: let 11s sm de, and lei us 51~h.

The

For our da~·s on eartl1 are n umbered

The fne ,,f J,fe

IS

fnuning

\\'e arr lrvmg hu t to d re.

hut thne's more of smoke than fl ame;

~non 'twrll be for a~·r extmgUJshed; go to. If' I us make a name.

Lei us budd, then: let us IJieed. then: lei us huv. and let us sell
rre

our l~rr('f

f'XIS!cnce paSS('S anJ \\(' go

Will;

\\'OiffiS lo

dwell.

tall t 11eir revolutwns ceao;e

The wheels of Ide are spmnmg

\\' e'll chase the phan tom happmess, and seek Ill \alll for peace.
I c l us make, th en: le i us mar. then: le t us marry, a nd dl\·orce.
There's no God to rPckon wr th us: tht"re IS o nl y se nseless Force
!'he strea m ol Id e is ru n ni n g, f an ned Ly su mm <' l 's bal m y Lrea lh,
Bu t lis wa i<' IS soon will min gle in tl w su ll .. n sea of dea th.
L l'l us love, the n : le i us ha le, then: le i us kiSs, a nd let us fUISe
'T ill we la ke our las t, lone JOUi nev in the plu nwd a nd sombe1 heaiSc
The

51111

ol J,fl' is dymg

darkness ga llwrs thi< k and lasl:

\\ '(' 5hall JOin those gone helore us m thr dim, lorgolten past.
l.rt us ('ill, thrn; lrt us dnnk. tlu:-n; ere llw nu m lmess o'•·r us rrec-p,

.\nd we're lymg still and silent

Ill

the everlaslmg sleep.

\\' R. Slllf I"'

:!I ill

l\r\lt£Jrb bp 3 ut1Jorit!'
"Tl:cre arc more lh in gs in hca\>c n and carlh, H oralio.
Than are drco ml of in your phil oso phy."

~

Tw as Buttons - Buttons' co ffee- hom e in Drury Lane- a nd th e a uth ors of a ll
time were assemb led. Sha kespeare wa s presidin g, for th e di gnity of th e
occasion admitted of no other, an d in a few words he stat ed th e pur pose

of the meetin g:
"Co-ma tes and brothers in Literatu re." he bega nMy Lord Bacon sni ckered in the sa fety of the co rner.
1
"Gentl emen, th en," snapped th e Avonian, "We are met here toni ght
;,""
to consider a project brou ght forw a rd by one o f the modern s. This sc heme
is worthy of your most ca reful a tt ention, in th a t it d eals wi th the remode ling
of a book at prese nt most widely read" A h, " sa id Milton, "my P ara di se R egain ed, to be sure. "
Shakespeare rapped for order a nd continued:
" -~ book found in every hom e. tr a nsla ted, as it is. into most of the known
la nguages.
S t. J ero me looked import a nt.
" This work is no less a produ ction th an the M oth er G oose H.lr),mJes."
M ilton turn ed sudd enly pa le, but Dr. Johnson gave him a rou sin g thump.
" \Vel!, wha t' s your sc heme, B illy?" ask ed Bacon. " B e co nci se , now, ju st as you
were iP my H a mlet," a nd the philosopher chu ck led.
"Our pla n," replied S ha kespeare. " is to coll abora te on a new ed1tion of AI other
G oose, eac h rhyme bein g rewr it ten by a n auth or of no te. This wou ld give both cla ssica lit y
a nd va riety to th e produ ction."
"Fine sc heme !" said Didero t.
"You bet!" added Moses.
Ingersoll smil ed an d reac hed for hi s note-book. " Mi stake the 9 17th," he murmured .
"Gent lemen, " he said. "here are your
Shakespeare took from the tab le a list.
ass ignm ents, so fa r as I have made th em out. You may begin work a t once. First, 'The
C ow Jumped Over th e Moon.' assigned to John Milton."
Milton stepped forward. then pa used an d aske d fo r a n a manuensis.
"Here, Boswell.'' said Dr. johnson. Th e biographer seat ed himse lf at the tabl e,
and Milton began to dict a te in a sono rou s ton e :
1 ·,

"O'er Lun a, m whose chas te. ensilve red bea ms
D id Pyra mus, wha t ti me hi s Thisbe d ea r
Fr om ou t the walls o f grea t Semira mis
Stole so f t into the silen ce of the ni gh t.
R ejo ice wi th co rdial joy unspea kab le
A s love vouchsa fed him by that Power on hi gh,
\X: ho rul e th all thin gs w isely and full we ll.
A bovi ne sp r igh t d id vauh her throu gh the air,
And in th e mi ghty circumam bie nt void
Sa il tra nquil."

The house shook with appla use as Boswell handed th e shee t to S ha kespeare, who
now a nnounc ed :
N umber two, 'Littl e Boy Blue.' is assigned to Edgar A ll a n Poe."
26 1

Poe made his way to the middle of the room, stood in thou ght a moment, ran his
hand qui ckly throu gh hi s ha ir, and bega n to rec ite in a slow , sad voice :
"L111l e boy b lue, your horn come blow,
Y our w.ldmg, windmg ho rn come bl ow,
Y our w eirdly, wooi ng horn come blow.
Your sheep lo I he meadow is go ne. is gone,
And your cow lo lhe wh1spering co rn.
To I he wearily whispering c01 n.· ·

W hen the appla use had subsided, Shahspeare ca ll ed th e third number:
" 'Little Bo- P eep,' R obert Browning."
A full voice from the co rner of th e roo m began immediately:
''B o- P eep--a nd who can lell her wh ere her sheep are?
O'er barren roc ks lhe pa lh s so long a nd sleep are
Tha i one may sca rce pass o'er lhem in 1he day · lime.
Much less wh en ' 1is so lale. l"m
Sure her sheep are well folded
A nd shc llered from lhe cold; dead
To I he dealh-shrieking blasl. a nd
\'\' ill soo n re lu rn, securely faslened,
Cau dall y. "

The applause w as loud from the non-English authors. Ca rlyle sa id, " Humph!"
S hakespeare smiled and read:
"Four. 'Remember , R emember. th e Fifth of November,' Thomas Carl vl e. "
The worthy thu s ca lled str etched himself to hi s full height.
.
"I a m indeed glad th at such subject has fallen to my lot," as sta ted ; "none of your
jingling rhym es for me- "
"Tha t shows you r excellent judgmen t, T ommi e," remarked Milton.
" - Nor your eve rl astin g blank verse either-"
Milton subsided" - Prose is the only proper med ium of expression. Look a t Browning's verse just
now, nothing but prose- newspaper prose- "
All the E nglish w riters app la ud ed exce pt the author of Aurora Leigh.
" - And in prose I will writ e -"
H e fixed his eyes on the tab le and bega n in a loud, ea rnest voice:
"That fifth of Nove mber! Fifth of th e d ays of Impendin g doom ;- grim, horrible, portentous, awf ul. it pa ssed P assed to ta ke a worthy place in th e D evil' s Ca lend ar, to th e blood-stained H ell
docket of Potenti alities,But who ca n for ge t it- for ge t it, th e d ay of \V a rning, the day forev er to be held
in dre ad Soul -remembrance and F ea r!"
" Horrible!" gasped Bulwer Lytton.
"Spooky," said Poe, shru ggin g his should ers.
Shakespeare rapped for silence.
"The next selec ti on- "
H e stopped a nd stared. Over the court was falling a strea k of grayish ligh t. It
was d awn! A moment later th e d ay broke over the din gy old house of Drury L ane, and
Buttons' was si mply B utt ons', and th e grea t sc heme was a shadow of th e night.
W . N. GRUBB, in Southern Collegian, 190 4.

gllna jllatrr
N submittin g thi s volume of TH E C ALYX to the stud ents of Washington a nd
L ee University. we feel th a t the obligations of our trust would not be
fulfill ed without a word of tribut e to our Alma M a ter.
Before the beginnin g of years, w e are permitt ed to believe, Cod
brooded over chaos, a nd the thou ghts enge nd ered in his mind took form,
a nd by the slow tr avai l of na ture His Word beca me fl esh. And H e said:
"These my crea tures must stru ggle and toil pa infully upwa rd throu gh th e
bitter ce nturi es ere th ey hnd th e w ay of peace a nd happiness, a nd though
I se nd my so n to teach th em th e law of love a nd brotherhood, still shall they be joined
to th eir idol s of lust an d ignor a nt hat e. But it shall co me to pass th at men shall tire of
th eir little popes a nd kin gs; a nd sha ll I not give th em a space th a t is free from the rottenness of their dead futilit ies wh ere th ey may work out th eir sa lva tion in the sunli ght of
freedom an d mutu a l justice?" Then Cod laid d eep a nd wide th e found at ions of a
co ntinent, a nd se t the emba ttl ed oceans a t th e risin g and th e se ttin g of the sun for a
bulwark a nd a d efense. And H e said: "It shal l co me to pass th a t the little people
shall overrun thi s land of A meri ca, a nd th e contaminations of th eir breedin g they sha ll
bring with them. Then sha ll I not choo se the strongest of th e peoples a nd set th e m a
place apart where th ey may work out my will a nd the sa lva tion of th e world?" And
with His fin ge r Cod drew a line across the middle of the la nd a nd said : "These people
I have se t apart in my Southl a nd to work out th eir own salv a tion. Then sha ll I not give
them a hero grea ter th an a ll th e heroes of ma n which have gone before, th a t then youn ?
men may listen a t th e kn ees of the E lders to th e story of his mi ghty deeds?" Then it w as,
I think, that with lin gerin g toil a nd loving ca re Cod fashioned the so ul of L ee. And H e
said: "I will build me a tomb for my hero, th a t th e people may turn their faces th ere
to pray." And H e wound the littl e hills a nd valleys around a nd around like the petals
of a rose, and clothed th em in gree n a nd go ld a nd purple. H e se t the mount a ins on gua rd
to senti nel th e grave of Lee a nd so H e cas t upon th em their ki ng ly mantles of royal blue.
Then H e co mm a nd ed the trees "to whisper so ftli er" a nd the ni ght winds "to sing low;"
next H e said to the sun an d sta rs, "Shine brightest in the vale of L exin gton, for th ere
I have laid my hero down to sleep."
An India na poet has bea utifully said: "The hea rt of the South beats a t L exin gton."
H ere we hav e a n idea l settin g for a grea t univ ersity. Our surroundin gs are guar d ed over
by the memori es of tho se two ma tchl ess heroes whom the world delights to honor, an d
whom th e South holds in sacred reve rence. The school we love so w ell is not endowed
wi th her co untl ess millions, b ut she is rich in these qualities which money can not buy nor
the ha nd of time destroy. Here we are not beset by the a lluring ca ll of ma terialism, but
263

the examp le of \ \ ' ash in gton and the life of L ee are held up to lead young manhood upon
the way~ of usef uln ess in life. \ \'e haw been permitted to drink free!~· of the waters of
ltfe and when we are sca tter Pd in the world a~ acorn' before a wintry blast let u s t'\er
keep 'acrt>d 111 our memorie~ th e teachi ng' we rerein·d a t the hands of our Alma !\ l ater. and
when we hecorne discontPnted upon li fe's drear~· way let us find ,oJare in the >entime:Jt
of the poet who pen ned:
""By Ih~ hanks of old 1\:orlh riv~r. wmding la7)' "round Ihe hill.
To Ihe d~ar old college campus my d10ughls are lurntM sldl;
f or Ihe coll~ge bells are ca llin g. and I know Ihey say lo me.
"Come you batk. you old Alumnus. J,ack lo \\ 'ashmglon and Leo.'
''Ship me J,ack lo old \ '~rg ima, whore Ihe summer sktes are blue.
\\ 'here Ihe gods walk on Ihe hil ilops in Ihe sunsel"s rosy hue;
F or 1\e heard Ihe~r voices ca lling. and tl' s !here !hal I would b~.
In Ihe shadow of Ihe mounlams, l>ack al \\ 'ash mglon and Lee ."

~~;I

~ n ~pprrriation
E herewith submit to the stud ent body of \X' as hin gton a nd L ee Univ ersity
T HE. CA LYX for nin eteen hundred a nd twelve. College edit ors are wont
to tax th e patience of their read ers with profu se apo logies for the shortco mings o f th eir und ert a kin gs. But apologies are old a nd commonplace; so
w e have non e to offer. W e have striven hard to perform with sa ti sfaction
th e task whi c h has been en tru sted to our care. If you are p leased with
the results of our labor, w e a re more than gra tified. If you are di spleased,
th e on ly excuse w e ha ve to offer is that w e have don e the best we could.
The editor ass um es a ll the responsibility fN th e im perfections of lhis boo k, b ut d oes
not cl ai m all the credit for the more ad mir able fea tures. In thi s volume se veral topics
aro se for treat ment which could not be left to th e imm atu re judgmen t an d unsound di scretion o f th e editor, whil e others arose whi ch w ere beyond th e limits of hi s ca paci ty .
But he has been exceedin gly fortun a te in bein g ab le to en list the scn ·ices of those who
were eq ua l to th e tasks whi ch they w ere asked to perform. S o w e w a nt to expr ess our
appreciation to a ll those wh o so willin gly a nd ably lent their services in th e p reparation of
this volume of THE. CALYX.
The ar ticl e in regard to " The Ca mpbell Brothers" w as prepared by a member of
the fac ulty, who wishes his name withhe ld. The ske tch of Dr. H enry Louis S mith w as
a im prepared by a me mber of the fac ulty. Ac ticl es were a lw p repared by D r. ]. H .
La tane a nd D r. G. H. De nny. whose names arc appended to the sketc hes they wrote.
I nva lu ab le service was rendered th e book by M r. W. R. S hields. The fronti spiece w as
drawn by Miss M ary W est. W e w a nt to thank eac h an d eve ry one whose names w e
l1ave mentioned a bove for the part performed in helping to make thi s book what it is.
Next w e want to thank eac h member of th e editori a l staff for his suppor t an d co-opera tion .
sl) wh a teve r merits may be a tt ac hed to THE. CA LYX for nin etee n hundred a nd twelve
we a llribute large ly to the services of those who ha,·e so a bly assisted us.

'[:1Jr
T

]n~tallation

of t1Jr il)1J i
jfratrrnit!.'

IS

,1

~lpba

Brita

source of no littl e gra ti fica t1 ou to the \ V ash in gton and L ee Ia\\

~tudents a nd friends of th e iu ~titutio n th a t thi s year should have mar ked the

in sta ll ation of a chap ter of th e Phi A lpha D elt<1 Legal Fra ternity her e.
Phi Alpha D elt a is th e second lar gest lega l fraternity in existence, and
its progressi, eness a nd init ia ti ve

is

ninced by the fac t that it ha s a large1

number of C hapter hou ~es than any o ther.

Its Chap ters a re located in o nly

the largest a nd bes t law sc hool s in th e co untry, an d thi s spea ks eloquently
for o ur la w d epar tme nt and the char ter memh ers.
The C hap ter here is known as the \ Valier R. Staples Chap ter, bein g named in
Lono r of the distingui shed jud ge of th e Co urt of Appeal s of V irginia.
The insta ll a ti o n, whi ch too k place on J an uary

13 th.

19 12. w as in charge ol

S upreme ju stice J oh n D oy le Ca rmody. of \V ashing lon. D . C .. a nd Edward j. H ess,
S upreme R eco rder, of C hi cago, Ill. . assisted by d elega ti ons fro m th e UniYersi ti es of
\ 'irgini a a nd Georgetown.
I mmed ia tely fo ll owing the initiation a mo ~ l elaborate banquet was se rY ed in the
dining-rooms o f the L exin g to n H o tel.

The rooms w ere art ist icall y d ecorated with th e

La temity colors, purple ar.d go ld, and th e tab les were strewn with red ca rnation s and
smil a x , whi ch are th e adop ted fl owers of th e fraternity .
sio n by rend er in g appropria te se lec ti ons.
\ Vali er

..-\ n o rchestra en liv ened th e occa-

Nor wa s th ere a ny lac k of o ra tory.

Jud ge

R. S tap les, of R oano ke, and ex-A tt orney-Genera l of \'i rg ini a \V illi a m A.

Anderson , who, a mon g o th ers , w ere c hose n honorary mem bers of the fraternity, each
cleli vered e xce ll ent speec hes full of wi sdom and fraterna li sm: a nd there were a lso toas ts
Ly the vi sitin g bro th e rs a nd memb ers of the loca l Chap ter.
B es ides th e Na ti ona l officers, the del ega ti ons fro m the severa l Uni,·ersiti es, and th e
cha rter members, there w e re pre~en l a lso a nu mber of honorary membe rs a nd "goa ls. "
A lega l fra tern it y should be a so u rce of benefit no t only to it s partic ul ar me m bers,
Lut to the Univ e rsit y: an d un less it acco mp lishes thi s en d it fa lls sho rt of it s purpose.
\ Ve aga in extend to Ph i ; \I ph a D elt a L ega l Fra te rni ty of \V ash ington a nd L ee o ur very
best wi shes.

M ay 1ts future be as no teworthy as its installation has been a usp icious.

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VoL. 1792, No. 1

LEXINGTON, VA., APRIL 1sT, 1999

PRICE

$1.98

LIFE

2

~fhe

Gink and the Gump
T

ill~

ts the Cink
\obo>dl' knows
\\ lu·r c.: lu: canw ir••JJt ••r .what he

l·:tlll •·

i ··r

II . ·

11~'-- 1

canll' an•l tnadl'

his prl' se ncc knnwn. ( lnl' l>c:auti lui sun ,h ttn- ai tn n•>u n, whe n tht: maple s were
cl<>tli ing- in c rim son a nd g o>ld . a s the
]"'<'l' say. h e droppvd iron t thl' middle
.. j a 1:. ,\ t l car hacking into Lexington.
II ,. is a tt unkno\\ n q uantity - cv.:n his
rae" i, tnt<·e rtain. ,iP <' <' the thin g- h<: came
'• II lll:t\· :t<'C<>n llt for hi s .-.. k•r. . The timi ng ., ( hi s e xit iront t ht· 1:. &: ( l car
m igh t ha\l: been llllf<>rtnnatl', ,ince that
'Yt.n b .. \ "i Lo:xingto~n pro>pcrity hap Jil'I H'c thumping
ha<:l< \\·a rd s '"·c:r the d e pot trc·,tlo:. l:ut
Till-: 1,1 '-, h
th t· (;ink. n o t in th<: l<:a st pcrtnrl>e.1 litt le thi11 .~ li kv t hat. h.. u n ced off th t· trt·stk tit·s and.
t:,11 d in g in thl' n tid dlt- , j th e r<>ad hl' lll'ath on his feet,
a s,;tt lll l' d th .: n·n tr o:-<>f- inter est attttllMTn n y. an d d . ·n t ; tt ~< kd ,.j el'<~ rythin g in gl'llt:r;tl :
" \\hat 's th e n" i"· : "
\ ,, immediat<' altl'nti<>n wa' paid \ll his qut·stion,
l> u t i r •• m a nl':trb~ P' ''l C lllH' thl' r t·tnark:
.. ~ n c:m 't a llns tt·ll l11 tit, · in " a thin~ makes w h ethe r

it \ a cat 11r a f rc:~ hnt:t-1 1 "
·
Th e (;ink tnrm·d his n e in thl' dir,·c tic>tl wht:nce came
thl' rl'l11 a rk and ,aw thi~ :
\ n tn di ,idtt;d \\ h•• i, ,·;dk cl thl' t; u mp.

;t nd \\ ho

1~ tl l ll·r .. ·..,ttll~

t•• I ),, \" tllr !larry

1·a ntp h.. ll <: hil'i1y Leca·\ l,t' o f his likt·nes-s
t" a n· rtain dy,pl'ptic l>r ac lti<>p•>d o~i the:
1 'rd t>\' in ;t n pl'ri t•tl.

Thl' t;ink

.!.! a\l'

hl111 ••ne

r•, nh · ntpt ll ••tl ~

~ la nc e. :tnd thl'It pr.,n..- dl'd "n his way .
t" in ~t·s ttgatl' th .. l"\\11 that lay hd•·n·

him
The Cnt n p, f,.llowing- him with
phil o" >phical t·y t·. n·markl'd ·
" C.rcvn appk > ~ in · , yo~ tt a pain in till'
, t.,tni ck . hnt ci ,·u k t 't:m •·rl,nt· thl'Y
g tb ri pt·. k s> ett t hl' y root '·· \\'ltirlt r~­
m:trk may indic :ttl' t c> , ,,11 11· that th''"'
t \\•• \\t'l"l' lt kl'h· t•' g ~ · t •Il l frit ·tHilv ll"l"lll~ ,...,"""":><.<~~--­
in th e r •nlr"·.-. ,, f tim e. t )]~,. di.l'ft·rvnn·
TilE (;t·~tl'
lol'l\1 t'l·n the ( otnk and thl' ( o\llllp ' ' that
tit ,. C utn p ,ta~ ' in Lt· x in g t<>n \Tar aitn year. changing
II< > Jn• •rl' than lti, .. m ·irc •n ttl<'lll, whik till' l ;in k l'O tnl· S
,. ,,.n· fal l and fa d .. , :I\\ a\· int" "'1111 '\\ lterl' dnring tlw
11 int-.. r an d ' i'ri nc:
TIH ·J;, tc« >, till' t ;nmp i,; gin·n to
ph iJc,s• •phi t ill g f r• 1111 gatepn:-. t:-o. tJ, u•rstt·ps, l:l( ., \\·hi lt:
tit• · <;in k ' i"'tt hy n l:t king his ''"n 11•1i ~ t' 11r J,uttin g i11t11 ~1)111ehotly
l'J...,l'' ~

ll • ,j,:-. ('

I 'r ••t'lTd in g c•ll hi !-- t~~ u r " i in' estigati• 111 ht' had gon e
tl•n·•· \,J.,ck, :tn d a !tali \1 h,·n Itt• l>It tted int• > a group
• ·i ~ • •ling g •·nt kt ii <'II 11 It• • \\ t•rt: ntaking a n o ise like
di_l!ll tty
\ \"c ry gt~t~ d n , ,j.., ~·. t11o, f, ,r thl'ir dignity wa::.
1 '',..-.led •>ttly \ ,~ tlt .. ir St' II " ' "i tltt· impo~rtanel' am\
th e ll l'C<''-s ity o f e tern a l v igil :tiiCl' . 1\utting int•> their
t!li J,t h .. '"k<·d.
'\\ hat\ t h e n" i"· : ··
Th, rv "a' no r l']>l~
··~=~~. yuu '' hi te f, ,JJ" is makin g a II• •i'e like qual it~

L<·t me in, w .. n·t y e r ? Gimme a lig ht and I will make
Y•Hl a twi~-: likl' a sport."
~omt: ui thl' dignil .t <.'d gentkml'n thr ew up th eir
hands in lturr<>r, uthn> grinnt:ol in ftl'ndish delight. and
all wtth ~"(In hi s h ead! Sl:tp it on hi s h eaJ I "
\nd then thl'y toppl'd the: Cink \lith a blue ,·ap fr<>m
who"' l't'IItre an enormous \\ hitt: button ,ltont• Jikl' .t
"·archlight in tht: night . \u """ner 11as this cJ.,n,•
than the gr<>up .,f dignit·t,-d gentlemen ltet.:an sl u wh·
and gran·fully It> ri><· ttp and di,appcar ttt;til the la;t
"Ill' had faded a\\ a,. into dim ai r .
:\ nd t hl' (;ink .
when ht: ic:lt th<· lnll-lllll on his head. f,.lt him,;eli di,;intl'grating and inaea,ing and multiplying nntil in all
tht· 'trno ts. in the h"n"·s. in th.- d .... r,, 111 tht· ,torcs.
l>ig <;inks. little <;i nks. fat t ;inks, slim t ;inks. old (;in b .
y<>ntlg (;ink, , , bow ed the hntt "n blazing !.rightly.
]', "'r (;ink! It sccml'd that Ill' would nna get
him>t·lf t"g<·tha again. and as io~r the dignifted g.:ntlemc:n, it set·tncd that t he1· ha d g~>ne i"rl'n,r. But after
this, <>n S\l ndry clear nights. t\H· digniftcd gentlemen
rvtttr ned . Thei r shad"''Y io~rms wdewy spots. a n d lo ng, s m nnth white thi ng s gleamed in
tlwir hands. a nd tlwn th1· (;inks 'hrank and shri\ elect
and shr unk nntil only '>ll<' t ;ink ''a' ldt shi\·l'ring in
the midst of shatlll\\')' forms. Then the long. c, m oo th
whitt' thing s swung through till' atr and tnadc a n o ise
ltke paddll's dl'>l'l'tlht:ard in long. \\ ei r d, wailing chan t :
''Fresh.
fresh.
frt•sh.
f r eshm an!
Fresh. Fresh.
1-' res h
" rising and i a \ling and dying r>nt in the
d istance until the sh adnwy f o rm s di sappeared, and only
the whitt: lotttt<>n w:b ldt in tit,. nig ht
\11 thi , timt· thl' (;ump w:b J.,o king quit:tly o n frllm
hi s ga tep">ts and doo~rstcps. ,;tying little. (>n ee h e was
ht·a rd t o "1'· · " :;<>nH· flllks i s bett e r 'n other folks, and
"'ml'times ~~ 1\ hitt: htttt~>n is th e C>nliest way vtt kin
tell the hcttn' fro~m tnt ht·r, "
- S c> m C\\ here befor e we had ev id ence th a t the r;ump
might get on iriettdly t<·rtn s \\ ith th e Cink. This state
.,f afiair, ca ml' t<> pass ratht·r ca r h·. The two \HTC
l'llgagcd in fric:ndh· Cilll\"c: rsatinll.
·
"T hem .\Ja h:nni-c .. n, ha s g11t a pnrty gocul ner\·e."
tltt· <; um p \\as "tying . ".\nd what's more, tht•y sticltt·r..:.t thing wu,,'n po'm plaster. 1 ln yu think he will
:-:. I

~

,';

"\\h .. '
:\lik l'' \'"t hy a blank sight. ;.\ ike wnn't
lean· thi s plar ..."
" \\ 'all.'_' sa id thl' Gump. th nng htfnlly. " ;.[ y <'Xpl• ri 1 nn· in It i <' i, t hat I\ h<·n f, >lk, wa nb a tnan h;td ernuf
t<·r gi\·t: hi m a 'tate nnin· r s it v and seven tlwmand t cr
ho"t th ey \\ants hitn pnrty ·had. and d vn want' a
thing had l'rnuf vu gi ts it ."
":;ttn·'" said th;. \.ink. spi tting squa r dy on the pa\·t·llt<·nt. " \\' hy don't thi, t <~\\'11 makt· a no~ise likt: keeping
him hl'r e , ..
"( lh, dili.~a ti ons and n·solnti<~ns and prote,tations
and , irh like han· hl'en St'ling ter
l·•·ing a nta>s llllttu d ,·nts
•·
.
Tlw <;i nk and hi, white hutt<•ll lo .. ked do~wn irom
thl'ir pl·rrh <> ll th e .- hapl'l galil'ry to~ the cr .. wd waiting
in n••i"· asse mblY hcll'n·sidt·nt lloi><•>n qr•Hle
acro~ss ihc platf,;r m " ith intl'lkrtttal su·i·i~·~ a;Hl in
< t<· nt ~> rian voice: called ll ttl ·
" Tht· Ill<'eting pl-ease come to order
The oiJj,·ct
nf this ntct·ting. gentil'llli'II, is to> cnns idt:r the pr oprie ty
"i adopting measun·s tn pren·nt nnr Prt·,itll'nt from
lt-aving th e l 'n i,·usi ty . One of the most wide-awake

LIF E
en ergeti c. and capable y<~ung mo:n " f th is fa ir 'tate.
j, •r ten year,; he has ]J,.,·11 "
! lne iw \\·:1s intc r rupll'd ],_, l«ud tTit·s f<~r rt: c~fr~<111 :dl o\ er thL· h~],c able to g-" 1111 him,clf ill' declared the meeting adj<,urncd.

The

llll'l'tint!'

reitt~\.~d

t1>

adjourn

(lnd

he

l'L'C"gnizt:d .\fr. Smith. Thrl'C .\1r. Smith~ hc.!.!all >peaking at <'11CL' and made ,;urh a jumble that n~
1'1101

TEI\\1

.. :\

" \ \' all . wh e n f<>lk, has got er rhanst ttcr let er feller
kno\\ tha t thev thinks a whole ],.t of him it harm te1· ll>e ·the <.:h:lll,t. .\ nd as fe r th e ft:llcr-vn
bw \\' when f,Jks >L'es a i>ig ,m,.];e they allus thin-ks
t har\ a hig tirL"...
"Surt:." ,aid th e (;ink . "I i.!"l yer. \\'h at's th e next
llt li~t·

?''

"\\'a ll." replio:d the I ;ump. afte r a 111<>ment's rumination. "Yu can't allus tl'll what's guing ter ha ppen till it
h:q>JIL"n:<. J: m I predict that in nh, •tll tw o m onths the
1lll;,.papers ,,·ill he rep~>rtin g a phenominal ca'm in Lexingt"n and a young hurricane in Tuscal<•usa .. \l abarna.'

Fl:-- 11 .

hear '"hat <~m· • ,f them were s:l\'in!.!. nut t1nalh· ahm·e
the jumble ,;n,• .\lr Smith \\a~ h.eard to declare that
"The name;,. "j \ \" ashingt<~n, Lee. and Denn y shall go
d<~wn together t h r<~ugh the long corricl<•rs ,f time
'""'·en int o a triple arm .. n·d pill ar «f undying fame ."
.\n<•th e r ;,.hout,·d: "I 1\'i,;h t« Sa\' that Dr. nenm· \\TIItC
me nne ni the m"'t hcauti ful-letters th at I C\'er re cein~d ." wh~: 1·cul"'n pandt:m,nium l>rt;ink hcg:m J,.,j,],ing up and c].,,,n <>11 wan~s of en thu,;i;Jsm and l;wgh ter
\\'hen he stopped h .. I,J,ing he
hL"ard sonteone hL"lnw ~arln~·:

3

"I mm e you . .\I r. P1·~;;ident. that this h<~1"""lutions t•' 1>r. I lenn\' urging him t" remain at the
L'n i,nsil\·."
· ·
The mi•tinn ''"' carried .,·ith a whn•'P and the I ;ink, ,
three ahrea:'t and tw• 1 hundred deep. began marching
through the campus and till' street> seeking the much·
,; .. ug ht P1-c,;idcnt
The (;ink \\'asn't the "nly thing in
that six hundrcquite su re that he "·a,_ there" at all unt;l he ,;a,,- his
"·hite hutt11n and tht·n he kn,·\\' th«t he ,,·as he . I le
pa:<>-ed the r;11n1p h"lding d11\\'n a d<" •rstep and yelled:
"I fey. yc:r gc1t n;c? l':o=.L' 111Ctking a nnisc likl' ;t ~tudeiJt
:111d the ::.tndcnt~ i.;; tn;tkin~ a 11••1:-:.c like thl'\' are ~··in~ tc'
t'111d .\like."
'
·
.
"Kitclwn rl<" •r,." replied the I ;ump, "i, g•" •fn a feller tt:r make his git-a\\'a\· thru."
1\ut the parade· par:11kd '•n up -main strtcet. and thL·
l•ra'~ hand plaved. and the\· made a n"ise like• ,·"lk!.!L'
\'(.']1,;, :tnd Cal11C l>ack tInstitute Hac th,.,. f,und him. «nd lw led th<:m hark
tn the rhapL"I '' hnc- the I ;ink and his hutt<~n li>tened t<>
< ne of the hc;.t 'I'L"eches they l'\'('f heard and the sho\\'
"ndeu.
\iter it \\·as all ~>H'f the (;in k met the G111np.
··He,·,'" s01id the Cink. "I hL•a r ,; a n,i,e lik e .\lahama
110\lll"Yas," said the <;ump. "! predicted as mud1. lie
knn\\'ed fum the fust he 1\':J'n't going ter sta,· here."
".\\\', gwan." said the Gink '"\\'hat's the g .. ,.,] tht:ll
11f all this huhl)llh kicked 11p aruU1HI here?"

Siamese
\ \' hat is t hi s \Ye , e,· a -C11111 in g
Dn\\'n the main ,t reet of the to\\ n,
In the semhlanc<: <•f a human
\\'ith the see tHing of a clo wn~
F r n m ir,
th<:re rin gs <1 hell ;
f r n m its ra\' crn comes a \ell;
\\'h ;~ t is that t hing shining- black
\\ .ith the hi ll hoards nn it s h ack~
'Ti:-; a niggt:r. sc ra\\'ny nlggcr.
\\'i th big. hnlgy. cluhhead knee> ;

cia,,.,

'Tis a hig-n1outhc:d. ]ong-nq::.l'd niggcr-

'Tis the mighty S iam e"··
\\'hat is thi s thing at th ~ >tati"n
\\'ith a yelling-, hello\\'ing r»ar.
YL·Il ing- " ll otel l 'en tr a l," till
Your ear dr ums :t r <> no m ore~

Jt1111ping

out tn gl't a g rip :

H t1wing grilnd]y for a tip;

\\'hat is that line jumpi ng--jack.
I lr cssed in green and shinin g black ?

'T\~t;~~~:1i;~~1-~rt;::~Y aJ:i~.;,~·1\tea"·;

'Tis a hig-f1u )t.

t-l11p-~arccl

niggt:r-

.Ti:-. t he ~l"rt·:Hlling Si:nne~(·.

In the middle oi the gri\\'hen the team,; are at their rest.
\\'hat is that strange appar it i>HJ
\\'it b the fuzZ\'-\\'llZZ\' crest?
\\' alki ng- lik~ a stiir~ncd jade.
S 11"'' in g "1-;:t•cd,•ts" .. n parade :
\\'ha t is that thing making speeche,
T o th e stude nts in the hleechers?
·Ti.::. a niggCL :-;kinn y nigger.

'Ti,; a black lknwsthenes;
"T is an (lr'n:1ry. scr:1wny nigg,cr

That infernal Siamese.

LIFE

LI FE
That Female of the Species A gain
\\' hen 1\d a m in th e ga rd en saw th e lusciu us fruit so
s weet,
l ie longed a nd hun ge r ed (CJr it, uut he didn 't da r e t o
n ut c~~~- our g r acio us mtot lw r , plucked and a te it with
some ka le,
Fur th e fe male of the ~pec i cs i, mor e ne r vy than
th e ma le.
\\'h en na ra k to th e Ki shon went, tu tight with Jabin's
host,
'T was Debor ah, th e proph etL'S>. wh o le d hi ,; troops
a nd hosst>d;
\ nd Si se ra. th a t dn ug ht y chi ef. was slain at last by
J ael ;
Sur e, th e fe ma le of th e species is mo re ner vy th an
th e male .
\\ 'hen th e r ude , ill -ma nn ered children mocked El isha,
Isr ae l's sage,
.\ nd th e pr ophet tmn ed a nd cursed th em in hi s j ust
a nd ri ght eo us r age,
T wn she hea r s fro m n ut th e fn rc>t r us hed t o tear
th em in th e , ·a le;
Fo r th e female o f th e spec iL'S. is mor e ner vy th an th e
male.
\\ ' hen !\1acheth ai med at Sctot land's cr ow n and mur de r
ti ll eli a r! it not bee n fo r hi s lady he wtou ld ne'e r ha,·c
reac hed h is goa l :
Fo r she lent him r esolut ion a nd hL-r to ngue was li ke
a fl ail:
~o w , this female of th e species was mo re neH y th an
th e ma le.
\\' hen th e burl y six-foot sui tor comes to t ell
o ld va rn .
He s ta;un er s a nd he stutt ers. and he isn' t
da rn :
llut hi s s weet hea r t, thu s accosted. s mi les t o
quak e a nd quail:
Fo r th e female o f th e spec ies is mor e nen·y
male.

th e nl d,
worth a

5

So it comes th a t ma n, th e co wa rd , i f he tr ies to plea d
his case,
Uucsn't dare to sta nd hcforc her with a cal m, impassiyc face;

I IL· ma\· hluff and hL' mav blust er. hu t h is woefu l lack
of. san d
·
Is pai n fu ll y a ppa re nt. for he hee d,; her leas t comma nd.
\nd ,; he',; got the d ro p on huhhy, f.,r hy justi ce she is
hacked;
S he is glad to ,;ee him hum bled and she laug hs t o see
hi m hacked ;
\'ou ca n take it fro m me, comrade. as we drink o ur
fna min g a le,
Th at t he fe mail' n f the species is mor e nervy th a n
the m;d e.
\ V . 1~ . S HI EL[l,;.

A S teudint 's Beea tt itood s
Hles> i!t ee doon't git k al lt:d onn inn klass.
Hlcssu d iz a pmnfessur whin hcc iz sickc in n heed, fur
\'ll donn't haa n : tno gno tn nnne m · hiz leec tu rcs.
ll kss id iz thee goode athl eet e, fo r hL'C dno n't haa\·c
to paay I WC ex penzes whil e hec iz in n ko ll eege.
!'.l cssu d iz thee kra p slmt cr. fo r hec dnon 't haa ve
noe konsciense ton lmrte hem.
ll less ud iz a studin t with a mus tas h onn bi z top lvp.
fo r lll'e iz tryin g t oo hec a man.
1\!essurl iz th ee knll ecgc w ielder. f, r th ee d;w s uv he r
li fe are maa nv.
n!essud iz ti1cc hootl icker, fn r hee sta ndi th inn t hee
we igh uv hiz purfcsser a n sittith onn t hee frn nt r oe
an passc tl1 hi z eckzarnin ashun s.
Blcssud iz he with a hu llrl org a n' walkin' ka ne, fo r
hec maket h spnr t fu r thee mu lt etud cs.
1\lessud iz th e nocke r. fn r nnn th e j cdgemi nt hee sha ll uee da mned a n cast int oo hel li re.

see hi m
th an th e

His hea rt is palpitatin g and hi s t rembl ing knees a r c
wea k :
He's ti mid a nd he's nel'\'nus and hi s t ong ue is slow
to speak:
But she's cool a nd she's L"oll ccted, and hrr cou r age
doe sn 't fa il ;
Yes, th e fema le uf th e species is mo r e ne n ·\· th an t he
ma le.
·
\\' hen th ey stand heiore th e alta r and th e preache r ti e~
the kn ot,
.\ nd he t urn s to leave th e chancel with th e prize th at
he has got.
She's self- possessed an d >-m ilin g, hut hi s cheek is
hlai1ched and pa le,
For the fema le. e" iuently, is more ncn- y th an the male.
\\' hen he comes home in t he morning as th e clock is
st ri king two,
. \ncl hi s spouse pr epares t u giH~ him what he knows
is but hi s r! ue,
S he cut s him sho rt in a nge r as he st a rt s to tell his tale:
Fo r th e female, spur r erl t o acti on. is mor e ne r vy th an
th e ma le.

How's

THAT ?

LIFE

6

\\ ' hl'll thll>t ' '~ " " 11.111" h.ll ,. i:tdl'd.

L C':xin gton
( 'h;lflllll\g

~.· it _\

. . 11111111.~

F Plhh:tn" tr ill' ,,f \:t1"r i:1ir.

.... \\l 'l't l \

"\t'atll th l' 1:1,,,. J{j,J~,. ,llaoJ;," '
'\,·,tied in th1· lol'allll neath·
hd!--~t.·d ]J, ~-J,,,t·r t.ilh.'tllrt:d ;1ir ·

( ;t'lll.

upc1t1.

thl'

},J"P\\

.,f

i;,ir.

l!cauty.·

I ,,.;,nd. l!laj,·,ti,·. iair. di1 inl'.
\atur .. h,·r .. h;,, ,J,n,· llt·r dntl'.
1·:, ~o:ry :--lelh' hl'r ch;lfl11:-. t'• H;lhint
l' n:tty a~ a lllclrnint..: .:.d•'ry
I or1111;
Th; 111 ;a ~·,ft·\ • ,j~.·('(l "• •lll:~n's :--1••1"\

.~\\t.'t.'ll'l" in a fc•rt·ig!l l• •llgta·
l .lkt' ;, l;dil'y ,j llild t!CJ\\l'f>.
l.ikt· a hlo~!-o"llll'd tc r ;ltl;..!.l' grn\
I.Jk<· till' j .. y "i happ1 h nnr,,
~pt•d hy thtlliJ..dlt!'l ,;f thc l:-oL' \\t'

.
l'.

}tt\('

thl· ('\lll'rald "'' ond-ki,,,." '"' •lllllaiuThr .. llgh till' '"it I kt•ol•n hazl'
( ~ll';nning. ~··ld,·n. glccri•Ht~ f••ttlltain:-.
\Y •H• th_l' glad. "nr;qHllrl'd galt',
1:ur~t1ng tnt•' ~trl':illh ,,f :-.ih·l'r.
Tllrl'adin~ tlu· .. u.t.:il th,· 1all <·1·, ~n· 1 ·n.
\ nd fl'lllt 'tt· again i, cn·' t.:r
·
, .. ,., llll

:\lingli11g in a r••nHn••tl .... trl'alll
~~~ t'XI(Ui~itl' ;trt:

lhl'

J;ttlll~t-:lpl'!-o

Th a t in ,;pi<·Jid"r r .. ll alia\',
1:1<-ndi ng \:otun:, c!J,icl'>l ;n;,ndai<',
In a ·llltc'hing. 11 ild J,. •li!Jll l't:
\nd a,; iar a' <'IT call f"ll""
J:,.;.,t.; ,f Fa,;n· c h ann th,· ,;i .. Jll
l·: ~~·ry d,·l! and d:;i<- a11d h "ll"" .~
< ;1, '"' a ~r;n11ln. gl;,d delight.
In thl' ira~rant. tl .. ral llild""'"'
S etblllllt--. :O.IItlg:-. and :o.t..'t'tH'S \\L' ~nTt.
J:ird, ,f kallty < )h 1 that I C<~llld.
Tlwir "':eet Ia_,,_ ,,j j,,,.,. n·pl'at:
I :nt th,·r,· " a l"it1vr in·li11g
That l,. ·~·, nd cxpr"' 'i"n d11 l'lb
I.\,; the '""' in , ilt-nn· """'·lin" 1
\\ ili rh tiH' ir l1app y ditty t<:ib" .
\\ ·a,hin gt .. n and Ll' e. inl1 ll<~ rta l
. \, th l' "· !J.,,J ''"' ' l"·a r > th,·i r '"""''
\nd , likl' it pt·ri,·cti .. n', i'"rt al
Tlwy may 11<'11 ;uHI ju,th ciailll:
Th .. ngh "'"rl' J, ity ,il;!it, ,;,. m1mlwr
. That. l"·'pe; pun·.
\ t'l till:-- L'11lll'ge, \\i~dctlll\ \\'II!Hil'r
:-;h:dl "ntli1·,. til<'"' ;,lid elldll rl' ·
Tnl< ' tall l'l'll"t:q•h, ,,,.,. gli,tvnillJ.!
l·ar aJ.,,e thl' 11·hit<· lllllg<·d cJ.,ud>.
\11d ~r:tlld III•ITIII'llt'lll..., :ll"l' ki~~illl!
\\ hil'i1. lh,·ir llll'lll• •fl' <'1~>hr• '"' 1~ ·
I :1!1 Ti11H:, lorntal. loitt;.,. hat til'> ..
Thvir f,lliJdatl<•ll> will l't'iacl'.
\, ;ul iniant'> prettl' pratt!,.,
T" maturn th .. ugill, gi1·1: plaC<:.

\nd in i{nllil' 11 r,·ck, art· lor :'\l';Tlw n. JH •:-..tl'rll.:'- tll:l~ l'~"''!ct
Tnrninc: t" 1hi, .c:rand ,J,J LliH·.
l .l':lrllltl.~

ir•,lll thl' ~tructurt·

'1 lic ,....,..,. {\\ ••

,,f

;....:re:tlt':--1 IIH'll

t

•••thlc
i:lllll'

\\ ill'fl' till' c':lllll'll' , j thl' ,·,Ike:,·
~prl';ul-.. a n,_,al l·arpl'l ;....:rtTil.
' \eatil t ill' '"i'Phin·-tllltl'd j,.Jiac:<·
( )j the: lll:lJ'],·, t;dl I II \'I'll.
.
j.',,jl'll ha> II< I p ict lli'L L'll'll
_Til;,t 11ill l'ljllal .. r <'«1np"re
l .d;,· ;, '"";.! «i ialolnl 1.-c:,·nd
\r,· the: eh; ><'ljlll''terl'\n d the 11 nHiing. '11 itclnn.t.: ri1 ,.,.
L ;ln~h, "'"ng in l;vy ~1<'1'.

l.i kl' a :--h1nl111l'ring

~hn:t

,1( ~tl,t·r

In tht· happ~· hill> nu~ht lot- :
\, I nlllt<·h· 11atch it tl"" "'"
I),'" l1 it; >hl'll--trL'II n L'il;~llll< 'l irn
\ II lll}' hapl':' p:~>t a~l"11in~
Itt it~ \\;t\t'~ rerur~ t11 llll

1
.; ~~~~,: i :.',':· 1i,',',i,~,~·,1~. 1 l~~:11l·~:~,',\':' ·:-;:,·::,I '
,:h:trtll iu Iii!' JH•:-o._l' ... :"llll\,
!Ia, i'1 )if I "·"ndvr if I'm dn·;ullin:.:
:-;11ch pcri,·cti••ll th~1· l'lllhr:; .. , ..

t 11ttl. ~.::tch

c""""'"'"

Tl~'-',~t':,r:~k~ a';·~:~·~··~· , 1 ,~,'~~,~~;r~'r;~\~'llli 11 ~.
'Ti, a maxin1 ,J,J a11d h ..;,n

\.;;:~·!:::~,. t 11:,':, 1 ~ •;;1~ ~. ,;~~'~,·;:,
1

it 1r :'1111~

}'

·,\1::~) ~~ i r ; ··

lltl'l J I }c • :it;,J
l~l':!llti iul hL'Y''Ild dt'\ ''ti•,ll.
J::illll'l 1

\\

1J:t f'('

_ t· .. nqm·,t in l'ac·h happ~ ~ialll'l',
l ·.lcHph'll\'t.' ill c:H:h t'lll,•ti•lll,
\\ hich lit;,. ~il hic·, ch .. rd, <'1111':111\<'
line I h t' '' •Ill h,·rn .. :'t< '"''"a II" chni ,!J,., I.
:-;h'l'p> '"''"·ath tht· 11 ill''"' ,ha\\ ith hin 1 h "!''' and 1 irt«ry l•l'ri'hl'd.
\nd th l' ":-- ta r, aud !:;,,.;· dn·;,n·d .
1\:ai~t·cl ],~· lc•\ ittg h:tud~ :tnd tt·tHh~r.
'J', tht· ht·ro hold and i>rall·.
~t;tncl~ a lllltllllllh'llt • ,( ~pll'nd• 11"
<

l\·r hl:--. grt·~..·n and garland gra\

l'

iair .\atur~..--':-. nlini,•ll.
l~k:-.""l''l ''ith ch,lil'l'~t :-.\·h;tn . . t'L'tH·:-..
l\t 1 ~11:ti1Cl' _~prt·:td~ lh'f Ill) i·tJcd pilltc•ll.
1· :ttlt"Y I nub h~..·r J, 111;.!,-:-.• •tt!.!ht drt.·:tnl~
l~ut t.'ll•'tt.!..!h. a \:tin t·n,Jt-a,··~r

l.cxingt,,tl.

T.,

Jt~trtray

thy charn1:-. in

\t'f~L·,

\\ iJd l·t~~pi;L Till "Ill' l'\ t'f
,·.,11ld thy h,·auty hali n·h,·ar><·

\\ c

'~"' 1.111:--: .

A

COLLEGE ANNUAL

L I FE
\':tl'"' l., .. k t·d L''Xpltllll'll ~ittillt..: tht·rc ;d••llg~idt· n( lllll<
\\ t·ll. \\IH"n \!:"· ,·a111l' 11 j,.,,l,.,·cl likt· thn all ,·;uiH
f: .... k:-. \\t·rt· dr .. pp1n~ n~ht :tnd kit ~~~u l· . . uldn't lh.
1
:..:111 1•• C•llllll \·111
:-ot'\'llH'd 1•' llll' t\l\'\ \\l'ft' ;tJJ thl'ft..'
I .. hn :-'t u:1rt .\1 ill.
\daJ\\ :-:111ith. l~tc:1rd" -a\. '""
; •l\J.:ht t" !J:J\l' ""t"ll 1\i,·ard". hl" l ....l; .. d iu-t hh· ·h,,
I ··rtl"!llt ,.j l~t·\\t and .\laltl\\1'. J:.d, -t·d ·.,]d d\\c·k he·

A Classical Confab
l

1
II

I)JJ)l

I

'lf]J(,

I ·• t:tlk , ,(
1 ~~I

T "ll·

Lll.tll\

t ill' \\ ,,lrl'

I It! ,

tl11 ng:-..

.. IJ, ,, .... tnd . . hip:-. .t nd 'l':tlin:..: '';1 ·
II \ ,,l,] .t:..:t· ... ,tt\11 kill_:.,: ...

\- tru "' ·"'' J-ltun /) h rep• •rt ''' :t l·h:tpl'l :t:-.'l'lllhl~

,, .. tile Nt

:1" thl' -.,tlttlt-llt:--" VXJH'Ihl':O.
' .tt:d••:..!llt' "hat lll••fl' , .111 I :--:1\:
11 li.LJIJ'l.'llv.J Ill Jt)(/1 ••lh' !tight .\\ l'Jl. It
_\l':-..

trth

l":-.\lllldll"
il'llS

Ill

l.ttl·

··n iatt· I ' vn .-uri\'. i .. r that Jli:Jt tt·r I, and I ltcJd
, c'll t ' l.\llt'lJ(,\Jf~ f,q· Th:Jnk . . ~i\111~ ••r :-.••llll·tlnn~ ••I
t !J.Jt '"rl . i>nt "h·,. ' th.Jt C:"t t" "" \\lth Jt 0 I /,:, .;,
"hat I '"" '"" 11 "1th 1111 "" 11 ··n·\\ !Jt·r,· ' \\ !11.
111 thl Fe •11••11lh .... l.il.r;tr,:. ··i ,. ··ur-..e tht· ,)Jd Fe···
''''n1c ... I.Jllr;tn . l~t·i .. rl' It \\:t:-. lll•nl·cl o,,.r t•• \.l'\\
,·, """
11 .. ,.,._ i·n tl"ii '"II th•· "h··"' thin.c:
1.\l"J"\ i,,,J\ had kit lont 11\l". l.n·:IIJ>t· I "''' h·hind
,,Jth 111·, ,,,:rk ;and ''a~ pu ... httH.! i~~r :dl I \\;1~ ,,,,rtll t••
.Jtch liP ;,_c_:a\11
1 I t"ld .' "n I hac! jJJ>t l>t"l"ll t"
""t;tlllil"ll 1
I "d' ,\-Ltt,·hin~ :1" ;t~ ••II .t rep•trt i11r
I· •TTTIIl\. '' 1tli tll\ t•J],, ~'' n·-..tin'.! • •11 th;tt l1i:..! \ t'll'''\'
. .. JnnH... 1 "· ' rl .\I:Jr,·, t Uf'l/t~.'. "h .. n I i .. lt Jt ·,IJj,, ,Iii'
-..lip , •Ul ir•,lll ttlldt·r 111~ .trill. ;tnd ~.~·Ito. lo' It lnt tilt·
ti•Hif, ]q·c•;ll] ... iclc c11l, .tllcl .... a\. I h:tdn't I klltl\\ it. I
... \\t,L f lt
11d I 11111;·,·d J/1 · 11r111'
I rc:tl·hnl dt•\\11 111
,•Jck the clnr11 th!ng up. and I ,·,uldn't l\lld It
I ;..:"t
tq+ ;tnd ... , ... ,p.._·t! d11\\11 nndtr tlh t:dde 1•1 J,,,,J.; i·•r it.
.t1Hl tht.:ll ,,, ,llttl·s~· f 11t' ·,,,his :\.·,.,,, ''"'' llnthlll)..!
It-it h11t :1 httlt- c:l\\nnH·r tr .. nl th:1t arc l:11np ""t i;,
ir .. nt
\\ t·ll. 11 J,,kl'cl likt til\ll' t" aclt .. nnJ. '" I ,trnck
. 1 tn;ttl·h "I :t:-. t•' !..!l't Ill\ trnck t••!..!l~tht·r. :tncl tlu·n
.\\HI :1- ''"
I -''"'' ~~-a rl .flu r.r ' :\at nr:dh '
\ .1/u rei//,·.
•l11l \Ill! -..a,:.
~;l\, tt il•:-'"''.' thL· h""k ·ll,lt 1., :t durn
,,,_,hi It \\·;), I II il:
.
I Jh, '"" call laue: h. httt I ,,."''''' \\hat I '·"'
"""""
,,;1 I ""' a11d tin' a111.t a 't.i"!Jt·rt• hl" \\ ·''· ''ttin:_: "" tht· l'clC:t .. 1 th:tt l"ll'-! t.Jicl<'t·r ],~ thl' \\ "'"' '". \\ Jth th .. light lr• •nJ tht· a1:,. l:unp
hintll)...: ;til rc•tltlll thl' :-.idl'~ IIi hi:-. J,u ... liv \\l!l ... ktr .... :-.ll
1111g then· :-.\\ 111ging h1-.. j, .. ,, :tncl J~~ .. ki'ng h:qq1: :1~ :1
\ ·rc~hiiLtn ,,l!,·n P:t wntt.·~ hi111 \\h:tt '"'' 1111 till· l1•11t•11ll
.. \ hi, tcr,t 11\ld tt·r111 rq• .. rt
""" did he :_:t·t t l~t·rc'
:--;,,,. tiL1t :J\11.1 p:~rt .. 1 '"·' -t• ·r'
\layl>t· J,, jn,t ,t .. pp .. d
""' , j th;tt 't·ll '" I" ... k. 111:1\ J,l.
, .J1, I dutlll•, '' ILtt
1•111 j lht \\:111 till I tl"ll '"" t IJ,. n·,t 1
11.. nn n '"" nil·. \lt"Jt hn did t ht· .. thn,
\\hat
••tiH ·r """

I

lh. l'1n !..!t'l1111_t..: :dH:td ,,j

Ill\

\arn

It ""~

tl11 ' '""
,.Jd \I.Jr~ h:~d11·1 l., ... n ''tt111~ ihl"rt· l·•nc: ti:J
I ht:trd ....... nu·thln:..: drop .. ,tr .. n tilt· flth•·r -...idt' ui thl'
r •· .. ln I kn••\\ ,,h:tt It \\.t ... ,,.~~. 11 \\;t:-. th;tt J,i:..: rl'd
1 l'nn.·,·r··
~··n\t· -..t'l'tl '' 11p tht·n·. I kn••\\ ~-··u ILt\v
tlnn;.: t!J.Jt haol \11\\t" I:Jn:_:n.l:_:t·, 111 thv \1\tr••cl\!ctl••\1
fJ,,,, ,J .. I kn""-.. \\ ll\. i•l't".tlhl' \\lil'll I l'"'kl"d "'l'r
tht· ],,~ •• \..:

dil'fl'

tlr•IJIJit'd tht'J't·

\\:t-..

~:t~.

"h;tt t),

\1•11

tl1111k -,
l/,1, I ot1., I' IJ"llt' " ' J'nt t.tlking t" ,·,.11 1
\I.J in:c\llil 'Jtli\IC: 11J> .Ji .. 11C:'l./t· "I \i. trX. l !JJ\11\111.\ ,t.,
"--1\\llJt_:llJt.! ~~ .... itt'!',.
\P
, ,t
'lll;tt '"f't ttl
ti•IJIL: J-.. .til r!!.. •lll j,r .t ~1dd\
iJ"J\,.JI!lh lett ,,f ,·h:tp-...
11 1 l' tilt' ( •t'l"lll:tll'. 1•11t \ • •II ,j, •II t J,,,,l.; I ••r It 111 .\ .._, 1"1••11-...
""" d. , ... l.,tt· I t.t!J.ill. It!,, \I, ,,
~a'. , del .\1."· "'" .1
... 111111\l'l. kt ,,,. lcll '''" 1
l:tl k .d1•;llt \••tlr ~.-1 •till"'
I.IJ\ till I ,,,.,,It\ t..:···lll:..:, l••
11
~ti!Jtl:t\ lll•lf'lllllt..:

:._:t( 11!'1 I

I,,,,,.,

•• t ,.,

.,

11

11

\\ 11h

\J,,,·IIJ.I\' 'it.

11• ·t

), ,r .1 lllllllltc..

k.trl

\\d~ ,,J,, tl:t·rt· \\a' ;1 hunch •• i "nn. rit!ht th,lttt..:ht I
-... !\\ i'1 •ti''t'ottl t ht·rt· t, H•. hnt rn;l\ ht· I d1dn't I ,·\nnn• 1
,,, lll.tn' iunn' J.... kin_~ !.!11\~ 11 ~ liard t•1 -..:t'. Tht·
\\ :" I knt-,, 1n• ·=-t· "i ·cn1 ";,, ·J," '' l!.tt thl-, ~:tid. t:tlkt·d
11-t like th,·ir lc"""' f, q· :til th,· \\ ·•rid
\ud. ';\\. "hat
d ''''! :--.ttpp .. ~l' the..·_, 'H'rl' h·dding till' ~...·aucu~ _,;,,. :tll.\" ' · \\I\\. t·• t:dk "' n \\ :.-hiuc:t"" and l.tT l"111
\t·r~ll} :tn,i l.l'''n:...:t•'Tl in ~t'lll'r:d ... ;,_,, "''uld1t't th .. t
_i:tr _,,,u-..

Tilt·, 'lTIIIt"d t" lw pr,·tt.' '"·II

.Jl·

JII.J\1\lt d ir""' th·

f,.r th:tt nt:tttt·r. :11td f i l l tilt.: "h"~t· it \\:t-... :t '~.:r~
tcf,.rntal ~;ttht·rin!.!. ;, ....... ~clal :tiLilr' !.!" 111 l.t-\.111'..!1"11

.11'111)'.

It "a-n·t ·J,nc: till . .\ladn.l\t"IIJ \\alltl·d lct ''""'"" " .. 1:
''" hilt"\\ '' !1at t•• clct, :dl ri:_:!Jt \\t·IJt 'traic:ht •>\l·r t •
that cal>illl"t ,j clr;\\\t·r, :.c:ain-t t!Jt· \\all. ! .. It ar"'""'
f,,,. a "hilt and,."""" hack.\\ith a loa~ ·•i !lull llurh:11n'
:-':\\. "'"' t d· • '"" ti\Jnk ht· did t lwn? l~ .. lh-d "
,·i:.:.art tt<' :\ .. t ih,·IJ: thl" JJt·'t thiug ill' d1cl \\a, t"

:...:··~

t" till·

-..ide \\inc!""

111111

l"''k

•1\t'f

(11\\;ard \l'\\C•tJllll,

~-ar,·i ""' '""'-! a11d can·fully .
""I'""'··"" he ':tid. ··j n·,·kcon I"ll n-k
:\I :tr 1111~11·1

],lTll ill

t Ia· Ft·• •ll• 'tnit·:-.

It·

!.1 hr;tr.'

I tt"ll \ ""
: l::t r-..

t hfl'l'

\\ .. 11. h,· 'm"k<·d. a11d .\Jar" """'""''- ""'' \da11
:-=,,.,ith and :'.l:dthth didn't . It \\.!' "'""~ :th•H\1 !hen
tlc:Jt I ilt"c:an t ct ht·ar \\hat tht"' \\tTl" '·" \1\.C:
1,_,.,,.11
~ •I\\ ]ll'l. \••llf ~\\tTl Jjjl' 1
\
fl'll•l\\ d;tl.":-.111 :..:_l·t .\
,·lt:Jih"t• lik·,. th:tt ,., tTy cia~
.
It

""' _I .. JI\1 :-'tii:Jrt

.\I Jii. I th\\lk, th:lt ;""'"" tk

-.;"' .\l.~t·hi:\\ ,·IIi. "hat
tl ·:n!..!-..· ;tn· g••ing IH·rt· -~ ..

d·• y• '" tln11k .. 1 tht· "·"

"'I an1 dl'li:_:IHt·•l. .. Ia· n·plit"d
· ~iu.-,· C;c·,ar 1\ .. r:_:la·,
cit :ttlt llll f I •rtun;ttc.: I 1\'t"tlfrt'th'l' I I h:l\ l' ~l'l'll t hl' prinCipk~ I l:tid dcl\\11 carrit•d c1ttt 11ti\\IH-rt· ~'' \\l'\1 ;, ... iu
tl11· lnan:J~t'lllt'll l •1i tlii~ L'ni\t·r-..ny at i•n·-..,·nt
~ir.
tl~t· ;th~··llltt' l'lintin;tti•ltl 1!1. •'PP•• ... iti·~n '' thl' pnllll' t ' ... , nti;tl ic •r \\ i ... t· :tnd ln.'lll'l.ll't·nt nl,lll;tl'Lhit·al a•lnunl~­
tr;lti••ll
Tl!i~. I IH;tlnt~IIJI, l!a:-. lwt.·n t'•Hh'lll~l\ch· ~)l,.,,,,
iP titl' c:t~ l' \•Itt h:L\t' nu·nti•oJh'ti. :-.ir
\)JtJ I .dl'l'lll it
tHn· ... "';tr_\, I .(11\tld r,·;nlily l'ltt· :t c''ll~pi~...·unu~ ill~t;Jnl·t·
t'~>fltr..'tltion"

i.1 '"I'P"ft ,.j Ill_\

I
t'•

d~~t,· t

•llr-..c._

k1111\\

but

\\li:tt

ltl'·~

l+lTll

~Lt clti;t\l'lli

111

tlil'

\\:t~

t:xtt1ng at. .. r

l•:t·,.nontit·"'

1 Jl'pa rtnH·nt

Y'Hl M't'
\\ h,·IJ "'" .\ L dthu, ,·;J\\~ht tilt" dn it "i thine, !J, h:~d

~··till'

11\lll',

~llllh'thing ''' ~:t\·

tn11

-,

\\:t~ J•,~t·lllliJ..! ]'fl:tt~

:--hdfl•

.citt·r \!:Jchi:l\ ,.JI, chinJt·cl in. '" I '-!"t .\lalt h1b """ 11
J11,.,.,.·, \\ h;lt '"" ,;1\d.
·I :1111 lllt•Tt· ;tn•l tll•ITl' L'clll\ilh'l'd ~·i the fund:tlllt"llt:tt
1rnth 11i tltr prinrlplt- I :tpplil'd t •• tl!t' Jllat tl'r ,,1 P••Pll·
l;ttt .. n. \\ la·n I r, 1\l~i,Jl'r till' tllt'fl';l't· ••i -..tttdt·nt-... :!1
th1.-.. l'nl\l'l"'lt~
It i~ oh\i"u'. '111n· ;uh-qti;ttl' cqnip
lllt·nt 1'-1 11\'\·t·:-- ... :tr~· !11 i'f~'Jil:r ;ac:adcnuc trainillg. :111d
'"It"<" thl' clt·-irl' j,,r ,uch tral\\lllc_: "ill rema111 pracl\
'.dh "' tht· '·'"H" 'tatl'. that "!Jt·n 1n a '-!" <'n ithl\tu-

tt••ll till' ll1llnl,t·r ··i :-.tu•lt-nt:-- incrt·:t~t·~ 1n a gt'•lltlt·tric;tl
r. t j, •. :1111~ t Itt' t' tlllpnwnt inrn·;t't"'-~ in ;ttl ;tnt hnu·t ir:tl
r. \I". t .. -..;t\ n .. tlun:..: ·d till' al,ilit\ 11i thl' :-.:tnH· tltllnf,l'r
,,) llh1rllt'l:.r ... t•l )'1"••\ idt• ;, l:trL:t.r :1111••11111 o)f tr:unill:..!.

LIF E
the r esult mu st he academic misen·.

It is unnecessan-.

in tn y tlt'in lt l1l, to indica te ttl yc1t1 il'ntkJn~.·n the rcnletiy

for such a concliti< 111; I ha1·e de1·· •lt'cl a large part nt
my secnncl edition tn the prolpositi .. ll oi a plan in many

n :s pccts analog-nus tn what I shnulcl m"'t earnestly
rccnn11nend in thif. case.''
It took me some time to get on t o what :'II a !thus was
talking ahnut. hut. say. 11_-hen you '' •nll' t<> think it
o1·cr. the old guy was sh noting pretty 'traight. wa,;n't
h e, They didn't say anything when he g<~t through.
lmt they sat there thinking mighty harcl. all ri.ght.
.\bout that tim e 1-:::arl }.!an: seo:mrcl t" gl't a notion
that thin gs were going t•''' slow. "" he turned t"
l~io:ard•l a nd said:
" D an·. what' s an en trance requiremt'llt , ..
I tlw.ug ht th at he had old Ricard" qnmpccl. hut he
ca me up all r ight
".\n ent r a nce r equi r e ment." h e said. "i' a differential
e;;ti mate bet ween wh at the g-i ,·en Fn•shman cloo:s kno11·
and 11·h at the margin al Freshman. the Freshman oi no~
knowlt•dge. would knmr under n<~rmal. average c<~ndi­
tions."
That'll h o ld ynu a while. w•on't it,
"But." :\Jan: said. "suppose that IIJJynur entrance reqnirement -w hat 1\"<>uld it am• o11nt it, ..
":\ot hing. of cou r se." repli ed !~icard~>. "al•soluto:
zero. 11il."
" \\'ell. d"esn't that so~metimes happt'll ?" a>kcd :\T ar:x.
"From m1· nhsenatio~ n," sa id l{i carcl". s<~lcnmh·. " I
sh o uld he ;li spm;ed t n r ega rd t h e ter m .rather mi ~;Jeacl ing."
1 th nnght that was ahntlt enough on that subject.
hut o ld :\1achian~!Ji had something bothering him .
" I nel'er was much nf a consen·atil <' ... he: said ... _
far from it -conseq uent ly I can not agree 11 ith :\I an:.
.\n en tr ance requirement ought t<> he 11il in the in terest of th e institutio>n.
You ,;imply can 1101 g<"t the
lll!mbcrs ll'ith a h eal'\' ent r ance requiremen t -it's nut
of the ques ti on. \\" h~:. tn run a l'niwr,ity likt· this a
lo 11· en trance requirement is as ~ac:rcd and necessary
an institution as-as-as-a papal indulgenr~ 1"
Gee!
:\ ohody sa id a wunl. but the1· heard it all
right
Guess ti1ey had had ahout cno{q.:h sho~p talk
fur a while. for Ricardo turneu around to Smit h and
sa id :
":\dam. h ow long ha\·c you been up h ere?"
" ! came af te r you cl i cl," h e answered; "you got picked
tip snon. because you were nn the shelf. I 1\':tS a 11<'11'
copy ll' hen I first came, so 1 had tn he wrappt•d up and
put awaY. I didn't mind that so mnch. l•ut think of
it !- I wa,.; til'd up io~r thrcl' years with a pink 'Iring!"
:\I an . you oug ht tn hal' e h eard 'em laugh 1 (lid
.\d am 5mith did lnok so mad!
John 5tnart :\!i ll hadn ' t saime time;
h e had son H:th in g n 11 his mincl. \\'hen thl'l' had ha d
tl,eir lat1gh at .\ dam Smith . .\Iill squared Iiim><·lf up.
and I knew snmdhing was nn.
"IJid it eYer occur to vou," he said. "that all claim;
of a ri stoc r acy are ultim;;tely redu cihk tn the principle
of demand and supply?"
\\" ell. it h adn't exactlY orcurrcd to me. hnt that
\\'asn't 111y CUC' to come oil. '"' 1 stnrk <>Ill one car and
\\ilitt:d.

9

.. Pr.-omincnce. whate\'l.'r the rc:'"'n th crd o r. is c.r :·1
'~ · ,milli rare.
\\"ht· n a ~i,L·n claitn ,,f ari.;t,)crac\.
thcreft,rc. i~ ha~cd upt•fl . the t•fjiTnincncc ,,j t•llc ~·,r
more spt•citicd anccst<>r,, t!H· mincnt
an ce>t• or,; 1·aries imTr"·Jy 11 ith the lltlmlf such
at u.:c~t~ 'r:. \'aries dirNiil' ll'ith the n·latil·,. scarcit1· ni anc~stor,.;.
Thus. ll'h<:re only , 111e ann·,t• or , ,j pr••mtnt'lll'c i,.; al'ail:~ble. the utilitl' , j that :tllCe't"r is incalrulaloll'. sine<·
the gi1·cn anc,:,q, •r 1111"1 satisfy th e demand 'of the entire ari>tr<~cratic claim.
.\ 'econd ancl.'st<>r "·,,uJd
h~1·e much. l>ut kss. utility; a thirrl. consiclerahl c. hut
much less. a11anccstnr. ll'hnse utlity i,_; Z<' r"; and a st ill greater supply of ann•>tnrs ''""uld he a fl""itil'l' disntility. partly
hLcause their I'<'TI' ex istenc<: 1\'nllld cktract ir<>m thl'
scarcity (;.ince ir••m the pr<1111ino:nc~ 1 nf the "ther
anCL">t"r". l'ndcr S<>l11<' cnndi ti<>n s. tht• demand f,r
ance,tors is stable: under other circum,;tances. the
supply. fo)r the gil'l·n aristocratic claim is tixecl at a
gin-n number ni ancest•ors. l\ut thL· demand i;. llC\'l'r
s;,tishecl till th e maq.;inal anC<''t"r. ,,f 11<> utilitY. i,;
arril'cd at.
·
·
"Lngi cally. then. ari,;t<>cracy can he reduced t•' ahsn
h1te clem.,crary hy a \·cry simple nll'ans-the incre~"'
,f the numher ni a\·ailah!t- ancestors hcy<>nrl the f'uillt
(>i IIIOI'The demand i,; tlwn
n;nre th;,n sa tis lied; thl' la:rs cnnsti tut e a disutili!l· and the demand n"t <>nh· ceases tn
he longer a cleniand fnr the gin~n arist .. cratic clai m.
hut ll'ith the add it i"n of l.'ach ancn>t<;11 ai lable Stlpply t lw pr
f•1r the gi\·en :-t rlst11c ratic·

cla im i,_ dimin ished untii hi' continued additinns .1
I" oint i, reach ed II' hero: the pr• omin,·nct· 'oi the ,original
ancest<>r exactly c"inrirlrs ll'ith the actual pr<>min~nce
coi the indi,·idual making the ari,.;to~cr:that point. consequen tly. tlw :c•riginal anct·:-'tor (and ~~' ,,f all ''ther anct·~t,,rs 1 is n••
greater than that of the dl'~Cl'ndant. sc) nn aristc)cratic
clain1 i:-- !Hade. ancl-s11ch a c•nHiiti•lll i~ a dl'lllt1Cracv ··
Oh. brace up! That's the 1\'urst. if it is had ennngh.
'.lachia1·elli !<~<>ked sick ll'hcn )11hn Stuart ~"t thrnugil
<•: ith th at. . \dam ::->mith just didn't under>tand a ll'nr·l
"f it-yon l'• ntld ><'L' it plain as day in hi,; face 1\.arl
:lbrx ll'as tickkd silly. and old !~icard•• just le;uwd
,,·cr. so choked up lw cnuldn't say a \\'"rd. and ,;ho<>k
hand,; ll'ith :\! ill.
I tell you thnsl' old gl'CZl'rs hadn't IILTn in L ~xingt<~ll
:t11 thc..;;e year:; f, ,r n•1thing.
\\.ell. I don't kno11· ll'hat happened aftn that. :\ l ;ll·h~
it ll'a s th at hunch oi "·"rds fohn ~tuart hanckd tis!
'tn·aming- in thl' ll'indni\'S an<( I w:" the tabl e. rnhl>ing my <'Y<'<. 11 ith my n<>tl'' all ar<~und
<>n tlw n.... r.
.\nll'
uolumc ni Carita/ up "". the sh.-lf ll'hat dn ,.,,u· knm•
al,na that?
.

C••illl'r is Still :ll a 1··~~ to k111l\\ jtt:-.1 :lt wJtat ~tagT
a 111an .:case~ 111 hl· a ~t·ntlc.:Jnan :tnd hn.·••llH. ·..:. a drunk
llcrl' it i,;:

·

'\ .. t drunk
t"an

ts

!11· ll'h" irom tl11• fl,,,r

ri:-:l' again and drink ••nee 1111•rc:

!!Ill drunk i,; he 11 h•o proostrate lie,_;
\nd c:tnn"t citlwr drink or ri:
LIFE
A nother "I f"

11
Program for Second M eeting

I r yon c all ke ep ynl1 r C l~ h \\ IH' JJ ;dl ar <>l111d )' <>II
. \r c \\·as ti ng t h e ir s o n f •l< Jii,h. lli g ht ~· girb ;
If yo u kl' ep 1ll t1 1ll \\ h l' l l nH..·ddl ers tr y tn ~~H111 d yo1 1,
.\nd d n not c a ~ t to h ngs y1111 r prl·ri~>us Jll'arls;
I f vnu can dri nk. ;md dri llk ill Jll n,
.\ nd ca t ,,·ith ze,t . h11 t lit'\ 1·r g l u tt o ni ll';
1f Y'"' ca n w e d. a nd sh <>w n o t rt· pi d:Jt i <>n
\ \ 'IH'n "i ic-y prm c· s a harpy i n di~.c:ui:-c·;

t)F

The Woman's Civic League
\: .).I.
!\l u:- ic:

" 1/ 'lrcu t ire /l' o111 r n u ·,·ar tire Hr r,·<' lrcs . (

/r ,.,,,

Tobl1<'<'0. an d S/1/ol.-e Ci.'J ilr,·ltcs ," hy "T h e Ll'x i ngton

If y o u can think, and think, ;uJ<) n o t g <> cra zy,
If v o11 ca n )n ,·c and \' d n <>t hl' a f.,,, ) ;
I i y•;l1 ca n w o rk when · y m 1 arl' i l'l'lin g la zy.
\n d l nn g t o jllin the o tlwrs pl a yin g 1'"''1;

S nffrag t•tte U narlt-t"

\:o 2.

I f \'on can ht.:'a r t o St'e th e b ~s vou ar t' wantinL!"

Smil e " " y n nr riv a l, hut ll <>t s t.•ea k t <> yon ;
·
I f vm 1 ca ll s ta nd her c<> ldnc·,s. hi s lou d va un ti n g :
I a ll t h l'SC thin gs. I s ay. d<> n ' t m akc Y
r

If ,·n11 can lose. an d h e a rheerf11 l lo"·r.
If you ca n \\ in. a nd ma nii l'~l ll <> p r i •k:
I f. nn nt:"casinn. vn u l· an he ;\ br ui se r .
. \nd yl't rc•mai·n a ge nt lem an . bes ide ;
If ynu can ,,·in a pann a ; , •r Ji f t•'s \'<>yagc ,
.\lld Ji ,·c \\'it h her in nt'\l'r- h i ling j n y,
\ ,o g n •1 d Qut•t•n l\iary li \ l '5 w ith r nya l ( ; cnrgl',
I tell yo u what - y
\ d dr e ss hy th t• l' r t·,idcnt

SuhicT I :

" 7 Ire 1'1<'•'111-

t etol<·y of .11 11 11
\:o. 3
\ p;~pl'r hy M r s. F. F . \ '. I li .c :hhr
S uhj ,·t't: "/.,·x-

iiiTi1rrcoj. aud ·d .\fore . / (,·Ju:atc Syst e1ii .. j C /a.H ifi,·,1-

liun .··

\:o. 4

S ll f.f:I.Sil'<"E :-1.

s.,J.,·

" /} '/r ,·/1 l'o u i<'t'
.1_., . of l 'or t y

l'o 11 IJ,1.J

liellcr .fo i11 t lrr Sujlra!lcflcs." l>y J\ li ~s l.a t iJ,Ja l l a ~ i>t· t• n

From the "Song of Songs"
S et 111 r II.,. '' sea l II /'V1 1 thin e hr.1rt. a s a sral 11/'011
tl•i11r arm: t o r lo <'r is strt>11.'f os d calh : jealous \' i.~
cruel as tire yra<'<'. tire co a ls tlrr re. Jj ar< co,1/s of .fire.
;,•hit/1 hath a most •·chc111<'11t !lame .
.111111.\'
ftuo d s drml'n it:

o/

his house ]or

T h,·re's <>nl y

lllll'

if a

\:o. 5
E~~;1y ·

"J'r,·sl>ytrriallisn1, t ile l ndc.r

••i

Sooal /lis-

till<'lioll ... l>y :'ll r s. Ma r y .\u r l'liu s

no! 1111111 a•ould !fi<•r all t ir e .whs tall <' <'

/o;·r. it <•'011/d ul/rrl_\' be ( oll1tC11111o'o'.
thing <>n th is planet ca lled l'a rt h,

Th e e~s c ncc o f ! I im "h< •111 " e "'''rsh ip a lull'<',
Compare d t o which di;~ mld h a \l' n o worth--_\nd t he n a me n f t h is \\'llll Its l;,n guagt' is knol\'11 ("\' e ryw hl're yo u m a y ,tra y;
'Ti s thl' la w \\'hi c h m;lk l's s t;Jrs in th e ir <> r h i ts t<> 111 11\'l':
' ) " t ~<>SSl'f,S i t I'd !ling all I o w n iar awa y,
h>r I ,·a r c n o t fn r r ich l's- I hun g l'r f.,r ln H' .
'T is ~ \\ l'l' t e r a nd n's fa ir r<>se ,
'T is s<> i tt'f by f;1 r t h;111 th t• t· y es <> i t hl' .J ,l\·c .
It CThe da r k bl<>od <>f S<>ff ll n '"' l'
\\ 'i t h <>u t it cx is tl' nCl' i' dreary. my d l'a r ,

\s the hl'a rt 111 wh ic h \1' 111!1;\ll lll'r 'J>cll ha ~ n · t """' .
\\ hen the t·n d " j t he 1· a lt· ,>f the shad <> \\' is n t·a r.
:\la y my ~nffl'ring ,pirit ht· ).,,t in it /o;· ,•.
l{t' STit' S\\ 11'1

()/'<'II

disc11 Ssio l1

S n hjt·ct :

"The

!Jy

the

/ io ard i11 .
111C111i>as of tile /.,.<1!111<'
JI ousr .11 11/JOtoly, Its . /d -

<'11111111/<'S <1 11 d (;r o
\:<>tt•: Th e ll lt'mlll·rs hi p <>i th is cluJ. i,; limited <'Xt n la dit·,; h;~n·
" F. F . \ '." pr"c )i , ·iti es It is a p leas ure t n a lll1<>1111<'<'
th at in P·•ill t ,.f n n mlll·r s " "r c lub l' c lipses a ll n t hns.

,· I us i n~ l v

?
•

LIFE

G'a icty.- Bill :\ ck crl y and Sam S h er ert z in ":\lud
fr om Rockl•rid ge."

College Life's Picture Contest
on th e o ppos it e pag t: a bea utiful drawW E inpresent
g in full natural colnr. Thi s is not a na ture
fak e, n eith er is it a gu.:ssing contest. O ri gina lit y aiH.l geniu s a r e n ot r equired in ord er t o compete
in th is cont es t. Th e only r eq ui sit es a r e a pen an cl
pape r and a littl e bit of good. comm on, ho r se se nse.
\\" e had not int e nded tn expa ti a te upon thi s fac t. but
th e truth will out. so we will ma k e thi s startlin g r evelati on. \\'e har e intro du ce d thi s con tes t fm th e purpose of sh owin g up just h o w few of our r ea dl'rS will
r ea lly har e th e r eq u isit e g r ain n f hm se sense to r ea li ze
that the on ly voss ihle a nd proper app ell at io n for the
cr ea ture represented is ·· Da mn Foo l." ~ ow that we
h a ve unwitt ing-ly g i,·en a\\·ay th e sec ret we w ill cha ng e
th e contest a lit tl e and the h a nd som e pri ze will he
a \\·anl ed t o th e person se ndin g in the an swer in th e
m ost ori gin a l and uniqu e for m. . \nd that lea ds us to
a noth er point th a t we had neglected to ment ion. Th e
pri ze will be a bea utifully em bossed and colorl'd wall
plaqu e hea rin g th e device. " Tw o hea d s a r e ht'!t er th a n
o ne, cons id er the harr el."
.\11 answe r s mu st be legibl y wri tt en on fn nlsca p.
~o a nsw er s will he rec ei\' ed be fn re n oon to- morr ow
nor a fter tw o o 'clock next week.
, \JI cont es tant s mu st e nclose a s ta mped and a ddressed
em ·elope for o ur use in exp lainin g why each part ic ula r
a nswer does twt merit th e pri ze.
. \ddres s, Cont est l\1anag cr. TH E CoLLE GE LrFE.

Life's Confidential Guide to the Thea tres
Ci'lllral.- :\l c Fa rl an d in th e ··Dun en :\Ian."
slow, hut a tal.'i'r with the crnwd .

13

C/nbi'.-J nhn

1:-l a r mon is

th e Pri ma

Don na wit h

C:t•uso, ~ing in g f~ll- C'nJu nd .!a l{ec()n b

I I crald S•JlWrc.- L ea p is a ppea ri ng in th e ··s ult a n nf
Did o." :\ uti ce late r .
Iludsull.-" \ .anit y Fo li e," a
'ta rri ng th e ~e wm an 1\roth er s.

mu ~dca l

ext r avaga n za.

I{ 11 ickcrbocl•cr.-"T he \ ' erit a ble lll i Ilion a ire," a rniJi ( king fa r ce wit h Fran k 1\l oor e in th e titl e n)le.
Lyr ic.-" .\n lnt ern ation Roman (c" wit h J a ck L at a nc·.
.\ <'cry int er esting an d Jau ghai,J e fa r ce.
.lla.rillc
1\l o me nt ."
h ern.

III/iott's.-" \\" e'JJ T ak e Th at l' p in a
.\ co medy o f t• rror s, wi t h Joe Lo ng as th e

Pa rk-" Th e Coll ege \\"id ow Tipical" with J..I iss
. \n ne \\"hit e a s ka din g lad,-. ( "at chy, a nd thoug h dry
! he S tar is 1 ~dee n·~ in k'
Playllo us,•.-" :\l r. Long an d 1\ lr. S h nrt."
Slw rtJ· Qcl.
Slim :\Iil es

;Ill(]

Ifi/'/'odro nl c.-"Th e S pani sh l·a ,·al ier ." ~ 1r . P a t rick
( ·u unty Uurton 's fea t o [ flingin g th e lmll is certainly
c• •mm endable.
lt" inl cr Garde11.-"The Colo red Church," with Clo vis
Moo maw as th e I'a r snn
lt"u l/aci''s.- 1\Ir. Pup Glover . ·· Gree n S oc ks. "
hilari nusly laug h a ld e .

Lo ud,

Th irty-JYi lll h Str,·et.- !ioh Dow in "l\1ik e's Depa rt tor e." Pit y. a nd "l>ull " galor e.
lfea tnri1 1g· Ed di l' !'a r ks I >a r i,;.

!{ath er

Balasc o.- Bah y Wilkin s, w ho last year as i\Tis s
Th orn e in " J:rnwn o f Han·ard. " is th e sttccess ful in1pe r so nator o f Beulah Bi n ford in her famou s Salome
\\'ri g g le.
Rroadfa r ce, with Skin ny \\"illi a ms a nd J ak e 1lon ahn<' in th e
titl e r oles.
Cc nt ury.-Fat s :\liller in " H o rli ck's n a hy" has the
''Y ell ow Ki d ," ·· Peck' s nad Boy'' a nd " l :ust cr J:r nwn"
skinn ed a bl nck.
~ot even th e "~ e wl y \\ "e• b" can
cla im s uch a hahy.
Criterion.- J esse Jam es J ackson in " Lnve 's . \ w f ul
. \wiuln ess." Th ough th e pl ot is sli g htl y love-sick ly,
\l r. J ackso n pl ays hi s pa rt sin cer e ly.
Daly's.- J{ odge Bedd ow in Sh ak esp ear e':; "Ha mlet. "
In his solil oquy o f lif e, h e is a t hi s zenith .
1: 111/' irc.- Puss Irvin is makin g h is d,; Jna a,; Pamol a
S igma in " RYE."

In the last issue of Cor.LEGE LI FE we publi sh ed th e
pi ctur e whi ch ap pea r s on th e n ppos it e page a nd a lso
puhlish etl th e conditi ons nf a pri ze con test fnr th e mns t
ap propri at e nam e fnr th e anonymo us cr eatur e. Since
o ur las t publi cati un th e contes t h as hee n settled a nd th e
pri ze awa rd ed . \\'e a re r epubli sh ing th e pictur e a nd co nditi ons of th e cont est fo r t he cnm· en ience n i th nse wh <>
mi ssed th e Ja~ t issue.
T he cnmmitt ee awa r de d th e pri ze to l\Ir . :\ . ( ; uesswel l. Th e winn ing ti t le is: ".\ D;unn Foo l a nd Don' t
1\.n nw [t. "
Th ousa nd s of tit les we r e rcce i,·ed fo r th e pict u re .
some of \\ hi ch we a rc pri ntin g helnw. Sa mpl es n f th e
t itl es a r e: ". \ Sport, " ". \ l>u de," " :\l amma 's l>a rli ng-."
".\ Damn Fool .\drertisin g," "T he JJ., Ji ght o f ~lu l ti ­
tud es." ".-\ Sa p- H ea ded Squirt ," ·· just a Plain Comm nnl'l acc, Ere ry- l> ay I >amn Fool." T he la st tit le recein·d
fa,·u rah le menti on .

MAT\

Tbf_tCo.l\jx 5y9dlcnte
MulJ ~ 2ers

COrv\E.DY

~

FUN<---

~'\

N0 <

SWALLOW A FEATHER

BEl

E

lE_TCO>~ 'r ~1001.
~&~ffil?J ~ DUOLOGI5TS

''PICIf L £5 IN ACA DE M"
T7RlNCE.S s
ANNE...
IN
AFTE'..R-DINNE..~ ?or·····'\f:~.. 5

r

DIPLOMACY~ '~ { ' "

'"DIPPY
f\\)VOCATING

WOULD RUN

. 5~5LA.IY\5c--PUNK

~ "'''-.A~

WIL50N

PICTURES

{[ ENTER\NG THAT YOU MAY LAUGH

MAT

Tb~ CoJ\jx 5y9dlco.te
M Q1/ a 2e r-,s

COMEDY .-

FUN~

KNO

SWALLOW A FEATHER B

.IE~<0)~ lP ~1001.
~&OOffi~ ~ ~05~~
DUOLOGI5TS

.

''PICifLE5 IN ACA DEM"
17RINCE.SS

r

ANNE-

CONCLUDING WITH THE ONE AC..T

Tb(,C~l'!x 5y 9 dlcate
_

M ~T)62er.S

IN

AFTE.R-DlNNe:..~ 'Pc::u··•"\e..5

FARCE.

J!>A~~W ~,';, ~goJRT
.

COI"\E.DY -- FUN""KNOC ·sc--.5LAIY\5c--PUNK PICTURE5
5WALLOW A FEATHER BEf RE ENTER\NG THAT YOU MAY LAUGH

LIFE

16

COLLEGE LIFE
\1 ' 1-:J L I

J/
\ 1)1

I,

'\oo

joJ'I')

I

\ ;..
· ·i · . , 'tt1111
ar<· ,·,·rtan li~ cr01w d ed ioor ,.pace:. bllt ''hat
\\ oltld \\"l' d11 1 i \\ t' :-oht~ttld ;t}lo\\' ~Oil)(' \\'tll11an, \\'ht)
~ " th,,r .. ughl~ Jnc;tp:tldl' "f :-.upp••rting ll:--. deccl\'c u~
111t" '"~lllllill!.! .1 loooarol hill i"r Iii,·' The little fain·
:-. t••ril·~ tli:tt :trl· 11••\\
··1 ltH:c llpt•ll a titnc," \\·,,uJcl Stll iil
locc••IIH' " .\l 1 J,,,,., I hale loel'll ck ta iiH'd at th e oifiCL'
;,g.ttll I•, 11i1.:.l}t ..

P ui>Jh.ht·d hy

TilE COL I. ECE LIFE l'tllii.ISIII l'\<; co:-11'.-\N Y

oof yoou 111ll :1im at n"tl1111g and hit the ma r k
111: !;lei. til<"n· an· a loot ool l·n·,lnnc·n 1\' IH >Sl'
M \\.1Jtttk
JJilll' C:t)'' :JI'l' hc·J,J Ill pi:JCl' "1111' i> l l'aClllllll

Lt·xing ton. Vir gini;t

JERD!IAII JOKESI\IITII

pt~.: :-;:.;url't, yvt rn:tll.\ "ill dJIItt~l' a pr"i·t·:-;~i on Ia\\' .
••r l•u:-.int·:-.~ and 1nay "unH· day I•L' as gr~..·:n
Y"ll 110111 tl11 nk ~"II are The· Eagk ~aiel t oo rlnilll'
\\ n~ ht "IH·n IH' '"" tn in:-: hi, ( r,t machine " \\'atch
Ill<', thi" i' tit<· 1\:t~ y011i cloo tl it',_; th<· e;" i'·'t thing Ill
til l· \\11rld ~-·
( •i ~..·~~n r :--e it i:-., :tit\· r \'tltl ha\C lt-arnl'd
loo cloo it. htt t tn ~d a iall there must )".' "t \\'• • J>,.arcb II' it h
loll\ a ,i11:.,:k n;tiJ, l\\oo fII' ar•· Jll't ,impl~ t•IIWI'ool•l il'll"" ·, )'!':lll'l' th:Jt I laololl' J:ttrl" tl'll~ u-; :tho>ut:
.. I ~I<-,, tit<· )"'' •pi" • ,j \,ia. a1icl ~l''"ia. and thv land
\\ hl'rl'•Hl tllv f'"'t ,,f Jll;tn h:t:-- lll'\.lT tn~tl. :tn d thnn,
(I l .••rd ~ kl11•\\t.':-.t nt•t thl're,.f ~··
tl!L·dirin~..·
;1-;

:d\\a~' !la tl~'

L 1-:_1-.
.. ut
td
I••••J.
N \'I..,ttrp_ri
. . t·d '' ht·n ) ••ttr
till'

:t

f:ltT

:tlld

:1 ,i;.!ll ooi ,11.npl.11·it~ in
thl' 1-..Jit•l!'

\\;IS

;1..;.

llHtlll

~rart• nt . . l '.t/y.r I:, •;trd :tpi'"inl<'d i111n l 01I.U.<.J. 1.111·.'' chid. '" l harlil' \Ju:11Tier
"'" \\he'll ill' k:11'11ed that hl' coonld iltll a lilc·-dooiiOJr
llll•llv\' ••rdt·r· l••r tllrl'l' L"t'llt"
\ ••llr F.Ji{.,r-in-l'hiei ••I
t ill' (,ll:.x J:oo;ml llllbl h:11e' mi,t:~kvn the ,i,!.!ll in the
:.•cl' ,,j tltl' l·:cllt••r. l:ut j,~~,J..,, likl' l1sh. g•• i11 ~cl11~ed~.
.111d :ts l•ird:-. ,,j :t il':ttht·r arl' f,ttlld t••gl'ther. '"llr
"oorth~ I :01ard It"' Jwn:dltl'ol nH· too OJoldre~s the diJa[,r,·,
;tinlll':-.:-., and 11l~:ttlt' tllt.:llli•t·r;-. .d •Htr !.!,rand and Jllu~­
tli"n' 'llJoknt J,,,J,
\, ll:<~iol llarc·IJ·I ,aid: " T hl'rc's
a~ tlllH: h hunt:tn n;;tll,.t. in.., •llll' (nnl.:. :ts th' h in ••tiler ....
i 1 llt•l lllt•rc"
~., Ill_\ r~.,·;t•kr~ can l'L'rt;tinly iccl th;lt
;,·,· arc· ll'll h thl' 111ajoorit).

R(

1:\ l l'J.l'~ colotain,·d the· [·,r,t cititl'll ioor Rn nw oot,[
, j a lnn:1tic '"·' lt1n1: and 1101t 'Ill<'<' Loord J-:ak1~h
11r,t ,all' the 1111 i,ibk \nnaola. and llc:nl'l the
I ir,t died iroom l'ating )':Jlirey' noor indc'l'( ;e .. r:.: e Eli o t ldt his 11 i fc and chilol r l'n 101 lllootlrn
him ·h:~,; there illTII in thi, l'niln,itl' ,;Itch a 1ari,·ol
coolkrtiooll ui Coo llll 'ch , drama, farcl' al.iol tragc•ch·
.\s
\da111 alll'ay' h:~d ,; go·ntk l' l'llltll•kr , j hi, lilY~..·:tr'!" l·:u·, :--•1 \\l' h :L\l' hut tc1 lct•.J\ in fr••ttt ,,j \1:-- '''
:l)lJII'l'}Jl'llll :t l"l'Jifl'~l'lll:tll\V ,,f thl!" .~l':tlltl tlli~tlii'L' ,,j
'ltJoknt life
d:~n~l'fooll~

\\'h,·n ll'>•man ,nt'ira~<·
h:~nd' :111d ('oollll' ioor tb, thl'l'l'
~l'l"\
t• • ;11111r •ttth'L' th:tt \\ L' arl·
til:tt \\ l' h:t \ l' :ttl\ I 1hjl'l~l it It\ lt 1 ,\

i,; a
yl':tf.
Ll':t)' \ l':tl' loock
T illSand
i:-- n• •
f,
:tnt
tl"l'

1r till·

\:1 •1

:tt l1111l)t'

11111

,nfira:,:l'itL'
\c·ln I TI H· l·.olit••r ,J,,.; ltool, "likl' oother
Oootlt hi, "11ii•·" Inn the· Loorol knoo\\~ he
<'oolliol i i lit: 1\'all!l'ol I• •
I 1<- 11 i'h''" sill' ll<'f<' .1
":rf r:J~c·ttl' '" til;ll then· 1\ ooltld Jw 1101 f01ooJ oJIIl''llooll,;
\\'oon 1:1n ,ufiragl' "·"uld
:t,kc·ol 1\ hc·n he g<· ts in I:Jt<·
J," a grc·:J t deal hl'lle r than a "sc:\\ ing circ·k," ll' hl.'n'
\\ ••llll'll tlll'l't
I ttl! 11ot t•1 ~V\\
.\ \\"t~lll:tll, IJIIL'l'l' :l~ d
111:11' >LTIII, !Ja ,_ hilt [ \\'" I il'II'S oof :t >t'l'rL'I: l.'llh<·f II·, 1101t
.,."i·1l1 \..;l'('JiiliJ..:, ''r it' ... t1111 g"''cl t" l\l'I,:JI, antl ;ttl l'Ch"
I ' till' oolth th ing that l':JII Iii Ill ll:tlll IH·r 01111 Olj t hl' Ja,l
'+~rd
\ · ... uf(r;,~t·tl\' can ~;I\ I:\'-h\' th1..· :\~l 1 t·,·t.·.d. ant\
Ill· dc•t· . . n~~t f .. r'-!l'1 that \'XI'I:l~ ... t~.n ·\\hl'n s ill· h;ts l:tkl'll
llH'rl·. in ... il.!niltt':tlll 111111 ' " t";tn· i11r, ~~nly thl' tone
1
1 ... chan.~l·d to J;uy' blt_\'
thh
A :-; lLt\

i, i.L"aJI. \ l':lr. lw11a~:l' .. j tltl' ')ohoolll'y" ami
l' :t c:trl' I• •r tlw "rl'al
\n V!..:.!..! 1'. 11 •1 alwa\·:-.
\\ lt:tt 11 1'-i lT;trl..:t·d 11)1 t~ J,l .. t1 1 ... '-llllpl~ :111 :tl• ·n·e1

1

11\'111
\

\\I

1

1

.r

n'~ :-.\T:ttrhill!..! 11p tlil' lll'i!..:hlu•r':-. y:1rd
•t :t ill' I' I •llll' ilht ltl't':ttl ... t' 111\Cl' l'\"l'l'\'
II;, ... tlll· pri\ill't..:l' ,,j "d_,illg f,,r a tn:tn:"
ht·in·...,~ ~inqd~ J,n·:tLhl' ... he pnt ... 1111 :tlr~.

ic•r thl'

IH

j..,

IJI

•11\:tll

(,,111' .\l';l,- ...... hl"

i..:. ... ]ll' :111

B

l .:-; J \ 1 ·:~:-;

reminob ••m· ooi climbing a pnk tn en\\l'll-i''"ll'd t.:<'ntkntan ir•• nt \rkansa:-'
!.!kl'lulh· :--l idll t!..! d11\\ll. It 1:-- a "lfll~~h· f11r tn• •ttt"'\'
"~' ,{oll,i/il. :1> it i ~ t"ll:tlly ctlkcl. )'rool;:t·bly hl'C:tll~<' l.l
j.; :--c1 1 H.'l'l':-.~: ll"\' f, q- tHII' d:til\' llrl':td.
nut thcrl''s no
I''L', hooy>, thl'.~ :tl'<' f,nning .:1 $20,rNKl.lXN) co~ll:t r II'IISt,
:111d if thl'y 'ncnTt"llllter

a

BuT

:tftl'r all. the icl'-l'oold Ia"·· irnm 11hich no
inctiooll 1\ ill <'Xt·ill' ')'ark,, i, tit•· ho~ni,·JH•Clb
:..!:LillL' ,,f liil· t1• pl:tv . j,,r it . . n1ill's iu ,.,,or cl il'nt'~
bet: 1\·hik 1·•n1 )'irk !Ji,· )"'<'kl't,, and til<' gloo rioon~ llll·
rl' rt a int y ,,f it lllttkl' it nf f:tr lllllrc llSl' td profl':-' So r~
iktn tilt· jn~t i r" 01i it
It ,·an h:trdJ,· Joe suppoo~ecl that
thnc 11ill c·l'c'r hl' a tinlc' 1\ h<'ll the: "c:~rc i t1· nf lall'\·t:r,;
"ill grea t! )· c·nclan~n tltv pnhlir ,;Jiety ( n,'•t ~'' Ioong as
\\·a,!Jin;.!l"n and I.,T IH•lol, J•,·r r,.,·,.rIf \'"II arc
'""ill;.! too pla.1· th,· gantc·. ll·ll thl' trnth 01r tru;np hut
.!.!1'1 tit<· I rirk
I :nt lie' I ' r 'l:tl<' that , ..,II an· ,·karh· nf
till' c•piniclll ••ll ;t ptlillt ,,j l:t\\; thl' T~l••:--1 y•lll l':ltl itt }p('
t" di:-.t~"'""'r •• t :--t~t·h :t l~,\nunclnlln i~ th e prt'lH•Ildl'ra tll'('
01i tlw cl01uht
,;;11
that ll'hat<'l'('f ,·nu cl,.-J.,af.
JH'IIllllltl', til' l:iiH•I'. d1111't j .. q.!l'l ttl ilSl' pil'nty of
clt':tr \\:ttvr. ri\'t·r \\:t ll·r \c.·~. ( ;l'l'l'll Ri\'t• r \\"atcr~
t:tkl· :111 :~lotiiJolall<'<· "i <'X<·rcisc: and Fktchc·ri z<'. \\' ata
,,,,n't hurt :til_\· c•lll', ,,j c••ll r :--c. ii c:1r~ i~ ll~L'd nt't t n
ioo r gc·t and dri11k am oof it; hnt. "" l1ill :'\1·c• >al',., "It
i' till>' ltoorriltk ,nsJ;,.n"· and llll<'<"rt:~inty ai,.ttll ·radn,.:
liH 1\11//Jc of :t g,;t r dl'll h""l' ill 11tl' !Jand~ tlf :\ Cfti:-\~­
V\Td n·,nn:llt th:tt lllltll'l'\ l'"' :tnd p:tr:tl_\"i'l'~ ;t nt:tn."

F

l\ \1. 1.\'. kt nw

J:d .. n· )'<'l')><'lf:ttill)! thi, 1"11<' ni l'c>I.LE<:E LIFE npnn
th .. pnhli,· c• •It\ ,·ntioon:ditl' cl,·manl'fi"rt' \lith a hrid ""rd ,.j :~oh·irl'. Tn hl' a ltk tol
c:i1<· :JCilijcrt,; i" jn,t "' l'S~l'n tial
1•• thv :-otl\'l't'"" "i :ttl l'dit11r a~ thl' \"l'f\" l~ r l':t th ui liil'
il,<"li
Ill' 11111'1 ,,J'fc-r :1 l'<'llH'oll' f•>r :11.11' t•xigc·nn· that
llll.l:ht :Lri ... c.·. It i~ hi:-- lll!l ra l clttl\· t(\ ach·i~l' 111l :tn~· suhjc·,~t ir•1111 rtllltling, thl' g•1\ l'ftl11H'i1t up t•' a :o-tlrl' l·tl-re f,,r
~ •• •dlr l':trting ''''rtl!" t•• yt•ll :trt·:
"II /Jd/,·: ,·r _\'tl/1 h~·. bt• 11 l•ift 'till."

L I FE

The Turkey Trot

L E'\ 1

:\<;TO\' '"'ictv has r ecent II· hcc n r c\·.,]uti<>ni zl'cl hy th e inn<> \' ati11n 11i th:•t terp,ich .. rc· a n
wr i~·gll' conlnlt•llly dl'~i .t.:.n:t tt.:cl
a~ thl' "Tu rkey
Tr 11t." ( ln ce i11 r all 11e \\'llllld like t" c"rrc· <"t an er·
n•ll c."'tltlil i1npr e~s j,,n \\'hich ha:-. gt, IH' ;d>r,,:HI ~~~ ttl the
11rigin ,>f thi s popular dancl'
~~~n h: ,,f t1tt r C"ttn te n l]HI taries \"ll tlt enrl that it i, a c r c·ati"n .,j :\ell' Y"rk
,;11c·ie ty. ;,nd t h at it i,; an attempt at a r•> llt)lr"mi'c' he·
t\\'el'n t h e "l..uktnllla ( ;]icle " and the " t ;ri uly !lea r ..
11 11\\'l'\'tT pt-e\·a lcn t th i' the .. ry 111;1_1 he, a ret"ent in \'t'S tig atitm c•f ~he s ituatitm hy •lllt' 11f t h~..· nt••~t l'tl1illl' llt
arc h:L'c>lng is t s of th e age rl'\Tal, the• j.,JI"'' ing i:ll·b.
,,· hi dl \\' ill he 11i J~ t'\'l'ral yl'ar~ agn. \\'hen Jl n,fe..,..,t,r ll tl.t.:.lll' \\a:-:. th e
kaclc r 11f ]llt";il ")ahrnarl !11 ,;tucly the S11cial C11nditi11th .,j "thn Clltmtrie;.
I It: spt·nt f1111r m"nth,; in Lnnd••n and 11\her '"' ial
t·en tt:rs "f England. aftn \\ hich he j"urncycd 111 ga_,.
l'ari s. 11·hen · h e spe·nt six 11111nt lh iamilia r izing himselt
\\' ith the 11\l)dl's and rust"ms 11i tht• l'ari,;ian s. :\t:xt
he l'i ,; it e d l'II11Stant in "Jiil'. \\' llt're he >')It' ll\ till' rem:tining day> <>i a l\1'" year>' trip ahr"'"l. \\Ink hl'rl' th e
pn'•• r irl'quentt·d the dan ce hall,;, :tncl t int ,; at' ·

17

'' hidt is characteri n·d hy the '"rial JH• lclivit ies of it s
itrhahitant,;, the pr"il' >Sor organized a danc in g class
ll'ith a 1· ie\\' to thl' dl.'n:J.,pm<:nt .,f his preconcei\'ed
i•.lk dant·t·. and thl' 111L"Il1hnship "i thi,; class was
lim ited exclusin·ly \II l ~;t,;( L exingtllnians.
the
next li ite•·n yl.'ar,; \\'tTL' gi 1 t'll 111 t hl' dcl·el")Hlll' llt and
I" rfecti• •n "f th i,; clann· .,f <>riental dni,·ation, a nd,
that t hi ,; gre:t t ""'·ial :tc hi el·t·me·nt mi.o.:ht 1111t ill' ll' it h<'11\ a name. t hi ,; \\:tn t \\'as sup pl ie d hy rc sn rting tn
tilt' nwm••r)· ,,f that r:tct· 11 hil'it fttrnis h ed t h e lin al

s"

:;pggc~ti•~n~

ca lled

f,Jr

th l'

inn:ntirtll,

the " T u r key Tn•t" in

:tnd

the dance

h"n"r .,j

.\lu•u t •111l' year ag,. t hi~ chann in g
duced int•' Lex in gtr111 :'riCil'ty J,y

danct~

\\'as

thl' Turk "

was intro-

l'r •lfl':.:;~·~r

f

fr1glll',

\\'hnc· it met \l'l th uni1·ersal end"rs..:ment. and it h a.<

:-.ince

lu..: t.: ll prt~nrntnced l1y the

k;tding

c•,nn,,i~~et tr~

,,f

tlll' :ut a,; the greatest achie·1·ement since th e initial
days 11f Salrttnc.
Fnnn L l'xingt•lll tlh.· d;tnce \\'as introduced int" the East. 11 here the t·r r <~tll;'lllls impressi•m
a> !11 it s .. rigin iT" thl' a rd e nt
eff11ns •1f Pnlfc::.s11r ll t1g11e 1::. dtll' the () r l~l n 11f th e
" Tm·kt·y Tr .. t. " and this fa t'! sh .. ttld ht• a S1111 r ce nf
pr id e !11 ,.,.l'l') n ·ader "f l ·, >l.I .H;E 1. 1FE.

Professor Holdtite's Dancing School
Class m eets ,., c ry Sunday night imm e diat e ly aft e r
prayL"r - m el't ing in ;\le!'rum's lluilding .
l'n ,fess11r I l "ld tit e e< llllt' S !11 ns afte r a S"J"n rn <>i
i'rftt·t· n yea r ,; in t h e ( lrie nt.. \\'hl're h e he•t·a m e fam iliar
\\'it h t' \·ery aspt'l"t <>i the terpsie· h.,rl.'an art. lie a];;.., t""k
a Jll> St-g raduate c"u r se in .J ackt•'l\11, afte r 11·hich h e h ad
th r el' yt>a t·s 11f prae t ieal t'Xpl'rit·nn· in Ea,;t Lexingt11n,
thl' ~··c ial centl'r nf t1H· uni\Tr~e . t. 'e rti tiea tc.:s .,f ~r;pltt­
:11'•111 g i \'l'll ior ('tllllf'lt'tion ni t'll llf Sl'~ in "Th t> Turkey
Tn•t," "The Cri zzly l~l'ar , " " Th e t:unny Hug," "Till'
<'nhan•da <;l i• le," " T he l ':~n.~a r" '' Clasp." "The .\en•plane· ! li p."
Spe·cial L'llll r ,;c·, .. ti'c-re d in th e t\\'11stl')l and 1\·al t z.
Spec ial attenti11n )•a id tn l;tdiL" s <>\'e· r -10.
Tl'nlt>' d t•pt· n•kn t ttjlllll agl' and a ptnt·ss 11f pu pi l.
.\ cert i licatl' in llllL' "i my e'llllrst•s adn nt s t11 any
T{_TRKEY TROT

quai nter! him self ll'ith th e pnpu lar dances .,f the T urk>.
•lf te n inunlg in g him self in t ill' ··Grizzly !lear." and the·
'· llunn y Ilug."
Upon hi s return t o .\meri ca. l'r" fes''' r lJ, ,guc set
.1 i>nut t o in ven t a folk dance ior the nati1·~ s <>f Lexin gton, a nd to accomplish this feat he utilized thl'
n umer ous suggestions ll' hi ch h e recei1·et1 in the Clrient.
I le scl'e r ecl hi s Clltmecti o n \\'ith L ex in gto n s11ciety for
a tim e . an d \\':lS imm ediately attracted I>~· the social
cush ' lllS o f E ast L ex in .g\11n.
In thi s hi stnric village,

:\ly JH·ices a r e right.

Try m t·.

LIFE

18

\t.

\11 .1\1.\

l ~ tl\'\;ll

LIFE

19

M ike's Soliloquy

T oasts-To America

f \ \" ith pro fl>tllld apolog ies to ~hak es p~:an·, llaml ct.
a r~ d all nthers wh o m it may C<11Kc rn .1
T o gn or not t1' go: th at is the qu esti( •11 :
\\"h et h er 'ti s bett er f o r th e ca u s<: uf lea rning
To stay in thi s hi stor ic ancient tnwn,
( lr t n 'e mbark upnn t he "ca nnnn -ha ll "
En r otlfl' fo r Tn sca lnnsa. T o g o : tn lea n ·:
.\h , m e ! .\nd 11\' thi s act t <> s:w I l'nd
The fe,·c ri sh suspen se and ag it;t t inn
( lf a ll \ 'i r g inia ; 'tis a g rea t te mptation ,
\\'hi ch m·c r com es me qu it e. To gn. t' acc l·pt ;
T' accept: per ch ance my tlream ( a y. that 's the p< •in t I
l lf fnrtune a nd of ianw c'c•n la rg e r than
I n n w possess in .-\ lahama t <> he . n·:lii zed !
. \nd th e n th e scads! th e rl'~ th e reason
That makes thi s S o uth e rn hid ln nk g-ood t>~ me:
For h e's a fnnl \\'h o hears the cnst nf li\' ing.
The butche r's in solence. th e plumbe r 's inde p<"ndence,
Th e groce r's pleth ori c bill s. th e llllllll'r t>liS ex pensl''
:\ ecessitat ed by hi s pr t~minencl'
\\' hen he him ~e lf might a dd untn hi s a~~ets
l!y a me re pe n-strok e. \ \'h o w o uld tht:Sl' \\'orri t'S
sta nd.
T n cu r se an d S\\'ear un de r hi s hated br eath ,
llut tha t th e dread nf "niggl-r in the \\'II( .\ figure. hy th e way, I S<> rel y h:~t l'
Tn use in this connect ion) ad dl es the I> rain
.\ncl nn k es m e almn st tu r n t h e 11lle r clll\\' n
.\nd stay put in my presem \\'orthy pla l·e.
Thu s indeci s ion d nt h ca use me nta l ha\·oc
. \ nd t hu s my halt ing, ha l f- fo r med n:solt rti<~n
Is mocked and lee red at hy th e g h ost of do ubt
J:ut. ye 1\'h o. in that g ro\\'ing C<~ l11111oJn\\' eal th
Tia"" pu t it up to me. I'll t :1k e t he jnh
.\nd hu ,tle int o action . (r::lltcr dclc,Of citi::cus. headed by 111ay or). Ha I \\' hat n, ,,.!
:'II\' \\'n rth1· f ri en ds 1 In ynur kind th"u~hts of 1111.'
1\e ali 111}: fau lt s forg .. tt~· n .
'
\\'. f{. S.

I.
T o the l'nit ed Stall'S oi \11wril'a, drink!
Stand up all a r ou n d kt the gi:ls"'' clink 1
Til th" hrigh tl·,;t , tar in thL· 1\'l'Stl-rn sky:
Tn th e Ian• I ll'here I IH•J>l' to lin· a11 d -dil':
T o 1\["thl'r Engla nd\ stal\\'arl S<>n:
T o th e la nd our fa t ill'rs' I> I<" ,To th e la nd nf prilgrt·,s. pknty an d pl'an·:
T o th e land ,f hope a nd rich inc rease;
T o t hl' land <>i thl' S\l' <~rd a• 1d the land 11f t ill' Jl l' n.
T o the la nd o f 'turd\', iron l''l rnl·n :
To the land that i, free as th" l1l ess"d air:
Til thl' h"m e nf till' fairl' "t "f t h e fa ir:
T n tire for l' l11ost child fr "m tire \\'iii11 J1 11f tim eT o th e land 11f t hl' star s a nd :;t ripl'S suh li nw

II.
To
Tn
Tn
To

Tn
To
T"
T il
Tn
Tn
To
Tn
T11
1'<"•

t he l 'n iterl Stall'S nf .\ nwri ca. drink I
th l' lan d 1\'he rl· \'irtue is 1111 til l' blink'
th e land ll'hn e t h l' l'ost ni li1·ing's l1i g h :
th e land of "d<>pe" and 11i \'erm11nt pil':
th e b nrl "f tru sts a nd t he hlll11 l' ilf g r ait:
th e land of th e taritT and h i~ J:ill T aft;
till' la nd \\'hl'r l' murd ers n cn· r cease:
th e land of 1\'n chin :,:-s and ( ;iln· r rwr J:kase:
th e land 11f til e gall·"''·s. th e "c hair." and thl·
the land ilf harl"t s a nd ll'i ckl' d 111l'n:
th e lan d II' h en: fn·"d"111 is <•n thl' 1\'an l':
tlH? la nd 1\'h <>sc ~~~ d is "'ilish ga in:
th e land t h:tt is mar r ed J,y f<>trle~t crime ;
t he la nd of " l:eul :~ h" a rui snc i:d , fim c.

pen

\\' . J{. SIIIJ::I,I"

Maid of Athens (Va. )
((lR,

Tru: ll tG tt l ·n ,T nF L<>\'1);<: 1

R\'roll 's d,·ad. ;,·c ·; ·,· il,•onl il .w id

-

ff'c'd olh cr<•'i.,·c of'olo,
:\la id "f ".\ thL·ns". ere ll'l' tlirt.
Chan ge. <> h , chan g l' th at h"hh le skirt:
l lr. since that is 11•111· in st yle.
\\' ea r it th"n. l1 11( fi,t :t\\'h-ik:
I'll no l<>ngl'r he y•1llr hl·au:
l In\ e -""" s wcl't hut lack till' d .. ugh .
lly th at \l'lllJiting. girdle-d \\':ti,t.
l l\' t hat i<>rm l'n· 11ft L·mhracl'd.
I;\· t hat \'oicl' 1\ ho,L' dtlkl·t l<~lll'
Thrilled 11ll' .. ·~ r thl' tl' kpllilne:
lh· h ea\'l'll ah<~IL' and ea rth heloll',
1 -1"\'e y< •tl S\\'l'L't hut lack thl' d11ugh.
lly th""' kis~cs I ha ,." qua ffl·d :
lh· t h11se t'ITS that madl' me daft:
I:\· th<< Sl' ;tnkles trim and neat:
1:;- th<~Sl' dainty. tripping fel'l:
llv \'nur altl'rnate "yl's" and "n11"
I -1~~\·e yon S\\'l'l't- httt lark the d<~ugh.

A D emurrer
".-\d111itti11 g a ll t hat you say to be true,
st a t ed a case."

_\'
ha\'e 11111

:I I aid ,.j ".\t hen>'' I mnst llcl':
\\'h en I'm ai>sc·nt t hink oi Jlll'
Thnugh I hikl' l< ' I 'ari s gay,
Sl'nd 111\.' p11st- carrb ,., l'fy day:
Hear Ill\' r ea""n erl' I "" ·
r \11\'e ):l)lJ S\\'l'et- lnll
the r\.)lrgh.

Lck

\\'. 1{. S u rnos

22

L IF E

LIFE

Drama
. \O.EIU.\'

&

in " l\[ ucl from
(Patent .\ppliecl Fo r)
(Il lu str ated)

SHEHERT7.

Rockbrid ge"

~- ( cllfcriii!J jro111 riyht, /ooliill{l baci.") : .\11 right,
gn on, d- - you: you'll kn ow th e eli !Terence when
milking t ime eotllL''!
.\ . (cllfcriii!J jro111 /,·jt_\: It' s lo,·e that m akes the
\\"nrld go 'r o unJ I
S. :\ut a l\\"a ys. f11r-

\Vh cn \" IIlli' heel,; hit hard and
Y o ur- hc·ad f L'els queer:
. \nd y11ur though t;; rise up
Like· froth on be e r ;
\\'h en ynur knees grow \\" Cak.
.\nd \'ll11r ,.c,ice grows stron g:
.\nd yo·u laugh lik e (hie )
. \ t a ny old son g-Y ou' r e d r u nk . old man . you' r e druuk!
:-;a v. Hill. '' h v do ,·on \\'c';ll· vour tro u se r s t hat \Ya v?
\'ou'~·c got th e ·ncne. of Pup C ~ II >\'CI' I
.
. \ . Y o n see m to he flush ed to-ni g ht ; yes terd ay evenin g ynu ne\-er had a ce nt
S. Yes. I taught R... d ;\I il cs ho\\" t11 play po ker las t

night.
.\. See h e re. ;~ t th e \ '. P. I. ga me, 1 ;;a w yn u conlin g
ou t of a ha r-r no m .
S. T h at's ri g ht. I couldn't st ay in th e r e all th e
tinH'. Say. l w;111t to ask ~-o u a qu csti nn. On you
know th e el i fferenc e betwee n R o d e ri ck n ed do\\" and ;-~
111ule ?
.\ . I dnn't hcli c\·c I do.
S. I h ea rtily agree with you.
. \ . Can vou tell me when l\ l i;; s .\ n ni c Whit e and the
ll nhsnn bio t h e r s ca m e to \\' ashin g ton a nd L ee?
S. \ \'e ll. I h a,·e just consulted th e Co mm o n L a w o n
the subject. a nd s ince it ru ns back to th e tim e whereof
the m c mo rv o f man runn e th nnt to the contran·. J lind
th a t th ey ';nst antedated th e Cnmmon La\\" ·a little.
Do \'011 kn o w :\f ike ?
. \ ~ l\Tike \\"ho?
S. !If ik e D enn\' !
.-\ . [ kn o w Dr. George Hut chin so n n cnny. LL D ..
Ph. D.
S. - - F. F. V. a nd ll \ ·. D.
. \ . IJ e's Iri sh and the,· t ell m e t h a t th e Iri sh are
grea t fight e r s I
S. Oh! I d un·t know . l\l e and Gl'izleman and Eddie
P;~rk s D a,· is ca m e very n ea r \\'hippin g 11nc last night.
t ;C'c! I'm hungry .
. \ . Com e, let's gn dnwn to th e I >ntch Tea Rnnm
;md ge t a piece of piL'.
S . O h . n o ! I want no mo re o f thn sc Du t ch Tea
Rt~<>lll Pi es.
A. \\'h y. m a n. the Du tch T ea Room bak ed pie s hefn re
1 'ou we r e bo rn .
. ::-;_ Yes. J th in k l gnt hold of o ne of th ose pies
.\ . H as Clovi s :\f ooma\\' h ad h is pi ct nre m ade f11r
Th e Ca lyx yet '
S. Yes. and :\Jr. ?l l il e\' t old him to sm il e. 1-Te s111ilcd.
an d ?If r. ~fil ey sa id: ;,:\11t so mu ch "mil e, l\1r :\[ uomaw. o r ynu'li fng th e plate!"
.-\ . :\in't t h at fell ow Deuh rin g some f on th ;~l l player'
S Class\' ! He \\'as fi rst full-b;~ck. t hen h alf-back.
th en IH·uken-kt ck. and n n \\' h e's tryin g t n get that
quarter back th at h e lent \\' indy Gibson.

23

Th cv t ell me th at H a rd-lt1ck \ Vomhle. fr o m th e
l' nivci-si t y of P e nn sd Yan ia. \\'otild like t n pay up hi ;;
dC'hts. hut he's al\\'ays hrnke .
. \ . \\ 'h:-tt's h e g oin-g tn do ?
S. f don't know. He says he can 't thin k of anybn dy
else to hit fo r a lo:-tn.
.\ In L ex in gton th ere \\'as ;~ wi se man unceS. \\ ' h o \\'aS h e?
:\ . Oth o ] :-tcks11n.
S. Yes, hut h e g11t married! Did yon kn ""' that Fab
l\1 ill er is t a king hnxing l ess~~ns hy ·c,rres p"nd e nce'
.\ . 1-T o\\' d oes h e get hi s praciice'
S. Li cki ng- sta m ps.
.\ . . \re you acq11ain ted \\' it h lk Y \\' cinhe rg'
lli o
\\'ifc is a grea t coll ecto r of ..-u ri ns iti cs.
S. \\' :~s sh e co llect in g th e m \\'h e n sh e m a rri ed him '
\ . Yes .
S. [ thnught sn. ll ad ynu h eard that Red Moor e
is a ph ysical \\'reck'
.\ . I th o ught you t nlrl 1m· he ga 1·c you th a t black ey~
c; So l1e did. hnt h e \\' asn't a phy ,; ical 1\'rl'ck until
after h e ga\'e m e th at bl ack eye .
.'\ . Th e dnctors to ld T!arry ~ f oran th a t h e h ad a brge
Ct \ it y th a t need ed fi llin g.
S. Dicl h e r ccn nnn en< l any ,;pccial co 111rsr n f stu ely ?
.\. \\'h a t does Daddy r.mk's cigars n: mind y m1 n f '
S ll a cl cn ll olmes hmnin g ca hhage .
\. I see that "Hetti e" Gr een is m a rri ed nnw
S nh. no! li e ge ts that 1\'ea ri ed lo11k from d oug in g
\\'n rk at sch nol. I la d ,·ou heard that it is necessa r v to
pl' rf o rm a ve r y sc rintl s npe ra ti11n on "Cal." P ec k ?
. \ . :--:!n. wh;~ t k ind of n pe r ation?
S. Doctnr said IH•'d haYe to c ut nu t hi s booze.
\ . I see ynur fri e nd J es se _l a m es J ack son is ac tin g
r;: th er cu ri ouslv h e r e la tel v. I lr nnk '
S. No. lt1\'e i'
.'\ . .\rthur Fa nt t ell s m e that at th e t- 11 r o nati o n in
England last Summ e r he pai,J $50 t n ~cc th e Kin g .
S L ast night it cost Lncb\'IIIHI o nly h alf th ;~ t much
t•1 sec three king s .
.\ . Does S h eep S hi les' m oth e r knn\\' he's o ut '
S. Y es. hut n ot hn\\' mu ch I
.\ . !l ow ca n you tell a \\'. L. LT. man from a U . Va.
111;-!n.
S. \\ 'ell. a U . \ 'a. man ahra_,·s ;~c t as if he ow ned
th e world; a \\'. L. LT. m an arts as if h e does n 't know
wh ;~t son- o f-a- g un ow ns th e wo rld . ant! furt h e rm o re .
he doesn 't g iYe a \\'h oop-to-h !"
.\ . L ad ies a nt! Gentlemen. we \\'il l n11\\' e nd eavo r
to hl ate th at h:-t llad e ntitled: "If a ,;t ush ou ld h e pa ss o n hi s exam?"
\ Vhat' s th e use n f studying, it simpl y is a horc .
I think h e's singin g flat.
I at in is j ust Coll ege Slang. of Greek 1 want no mnre.
H e's o ff hi s kev at that .
\\'orkin g l\T ath is- n11t hin g hut a nu i,ance yont. ll agre e.
Fn>m Elocu t ion we " ·o nld al l he f r ee .
\\ 'ho 1\'0u\d \\'ant to spe nd a ccn tnry to say: " 11nn jour,
n1 on an1i' '?

.\ nd frnm " \ \' ie ge ht's. m ei n H e rr." dc li ,·e r me!
Chor11.~.

\\' hat's th e usc "i e\·cr sleeping \\' h en th e r e's thin gs
to clo in stea d.
\\"h at' s th e usc of going hom e at night. and \\'hat's
th e ll>C of hav in g any hed.
\\.h :-t t' s th e u"c of ch·cssi ng, th en undrl'"'ing fn•m \'IIUr
.
h e:t d t o1 sho1CS,
::;imply sleepin g >l'c m s a c ri me. hcc;~use you mu st get
up so me time.
So1 \\'hat's th e usc. 1\ hat's th e usc 1
(l!.rcu11tl .

25

LIFE

THE

. \uTo~rATIC

Automatic Rul e
·· \ Yhv have th e,· dro pp ed me from th e roll s? " inqu ired
~ l r . Pool. ' Tn~ kick ed vou nut, T'n~ kicked you out," sai d .\utnmatic l{t;l e.
" \\'hat makes ,·nu lnnk sn 111l·an. sn mean?" inquired
:\lr. Pool.·
" J'y e bumped you good a n d harcl. old cuss," sai d .\tJtnmatic r ule.
for th ey" r e lirin' those wh" didn't pass, I hea r the
tlunkers wa il :
"! hey\·e got their wa lk in ' pape rs an' th ey're lnokin'
mi ght y pa le:
.\n' th ey' r e gnnna tell th eir dacldil's :1 pathl·tic. h a r dluck t alc,
. \11 ahulll t heir h asty ex it in th e nwrnin'.
" \\"hat makes the da v see m o\·ercast ?" said :\1 r. Spor tin-~chool.
·
"Your sun is set, your sun is set.'' sa id .\nt omat ic
Rule.
'';-\o w \\'hat's th at scr atchin' sou nd T hear ?'' sa id Mr.
Spur t-in -Sc h oo l.
''It's 'J ohn L.' ru hbin ' out your name," said r\utnmati.:
Rule.

For they're done with all the boozers, they are quit
of all th e shirks,
.\nd they're only advertisin' for th e young recru it who
works.
\\' ho a lways kno\\'S his lessons and goes regular tn
kirks,
\ nd 11 ho gets the ea rly \\·orm soon in th e morn in '.

RuLE

"\Vhat m akes you r h eart su cnld a nd ha r e! ?" inquir ed
l\Tr. Fool. ·
''I' m s ick of Y"ll· I'm sick ni ynu." said . \ utnmati.:
Ru le.
" \\ "hy should yon ship n1l' thus in haste!"' inquired
I\Tr. Fool.
"[ think it hl'>t. I think it best," sa id \ntnmatic l{ul e.

1 hey are gettin' riel uf ln:Jfl'rs. the\· arc \Wedin' nut
·the d r ones:
·
Just h earken t" their '' ccpings and just listen tn their
Jllf )~\ llS ;

They h a\T n n usc fu r slugga rds th ey desire the man
w h o hone s
.\ t uonn, at ni .g ht , an d early in the mnrnin' .

Cynicis ms
\\"h:If you can't p:.\m· t\\'n-faced sucker can s:1v .. ,·cs," hut it takes
man In the true sense tn s:ty " 1in ... ·

:1

The silliest fonl on earth is :t 1\\'n- ln·-fnur iraternitY
man trying tn let cn·ryhndy knll\\' ah"ui it
·
neware of the girl ,,· lw is cr azy ahnut "fr:-tts"

1>nn't he gu icl ecl hy wh:ma~· think th:
LIFE

26

ll

·:..-......L2":i

•=:t:"! ~ ~ ..

..

II

-::;:;.( ... :.-

,

I!

/j

I

./.

ot

o-

Pc.::i.~- ur.rB P Eh..:Jr·~Cili':'J01: Ct'rt.'Y~ <=''::a.J· .. ~ -~n.."~

The Twent y- third Sissalm

Crazy Correspo n dence

I. ~i"y is my tcachl'f: I ,hall !loot play fototb:dl
2. li e makl'lh 111e t<> btone iar into the night:
ktTpeth llle frt>lll Ill)' dtt\\11)' l"ttlll"iJ
3. lie gi\'l· tlt IIH' te't problems: he makl'tlt
:--.t rangc rule.:-. f11r

hi~

\iter the in,ti t uti<>ll ,,j thi, d<"p:trtlll<'llt .,f "111' ma.c:a.'IT1t', a~ i:--. 11'-.tl;tll_\" tht' 1..":1:--t', thl· ftl":--.t L"••l"l"t':-.)Hitlikllt'l"
~.:anH· innn :1 young l:tdy in ;t n''IL' :ts f,,JJ,,\\~:
he

o!J,er\'l'

:-.y:--.tc1n\ :--.:1ke

4 Yea. thttllf.dt I I''~" through till' rc't toi my t·x:llllS
1\ it h ea,c. I 11 ill m:tkc ll<> phy,ic,: i11r thou :trt :1 itt'!'
111c: thy ru rn.: a11tl thy '·' 't"m tiH·) ilnnk me.
:i. Thto\1 prep:trt·,t a q11i1 ftor Ill<' toll the day of a
ft~tttball game: th<>ll Jdl,·, t Ill\' head 11 ith sy,tcm: 1111·
\\ t)rk rtlllllt'lh 0\'l'J' lilt'
.
.
.
It ~urel\' plt),i<", and ~i's"it], ,hall ittllto\\' me all
the tby, ,;j my life :tnt! I \\ill ltll' in the icar .,f ~i,sy

'\ '1l1

ran

ride a

h,,r~t'

11)

water.

I :ut ,.,,tt cantl,,t 111ake hin1 drink:
'\ ,,u ca·n "ndt'" Y''nr little ··p,,ny."

Hut y• •ll cann• •t ntakt· him think

" l\1 r l~dit"r I l" \'till think it i' ric:ht itor a c:irl '",it
tll;tn·~ l;tp. t'Y~·n ii :-.he i~ eng:q..!l'd ?" .
\\'hilt- this is a rather Cttlll.tdenti:tl qm·,tioon. 'till I l l '
are nuder tthlic::ttt"n too c:i11· :t trntltinl :tll,\1<'1'
I i it
\\CI'(' ~~ttr girl. ;ttt•l 1•t1r .l:qJ, _H.':-I i it were an••thcr
fell•l\\'\ girl a11d 11\tr l:1p. )L':-.
l~tlt ii it \\l'rc: •~ttr girl
;ntd :tnttlht'l" ft•iltt\\ 's l;tp, Ill'\ 1'1" I llt'\'1'1"!! llt'\'t'J' 1 I 1
i n :t

IIH'

Fr.

\ l"rcslnnan maiil'•l us this :
"l'lt-aq· tell me. dtteS a man

rnnnin~

ar .. und :t tree

hvi•)rc ••I' IH:hind hin1sclf?"
.
That d<·Jwnd'. I i he is tryin~ Itt catch himseli. ll<'Cc~­
. . ;,ril\' hc.: f,,JJo\\~ hlnt~c.:lf. and cnn:--eqtt~.:ntly goc..·~ behind
I i. toll the Cttntran·. hl' is rnnning ;1\\:t\· from himself.

.!..!•l

tlw dednctittn It-ad~ ttt the 1'<'1"1' oilli<~ll>'. Cttncltt'i"n that
hl' pn·c•·lt-< hitn, .. li. and Cttll>'.<''illCIItly ).:"C~ hdttt"C lf
hl' ,ll<'<"<'<'tb in catching 1'1' ll'ith him,elf. and p:ts"'"
hitn,<"li. :tt the lllttllH'llt ttf l':t,.ing hl' neither precede<
him,;,·li n••r i·•ll••\\' himt•th hl' and himsdf
ar.· rnnninc: ll<'<·k and-tH·ck Thi, i, the ttnly ca"<' ll'ht'r<·
he d.,,., n; •t :..:" hdttrt' or lwhind himself ·

LIFE

27

28

LIFE

LIF E

29

\\"11 .\T T HE RABBIT 1\ JW L' GllT L'~

A Girl Wanted
\ \'anterl a girl
\\.ith beauty and g race.
:\11t Yery fast\\' ith a classical face.
prefe r ence- a gi r l
.\s oft as I call,
She'll furn ish the ca rria ge
To go to the hall.

Hy

\\'a nt ed- a girl,
Not fond nf driYes,
. \nd who without llirting
Pleasure derive s.
\ Vantcd - a girl
\\'h o is hnne~t etwugh
T o let a man kno11
\Vh en she's "out vn a blufi."

\ \ 'anted -a girl.
\\·h,, 11 hen asked f,r a dam:c,
\\ -,n't hodd up Jiyc tingc r,,
\\.ith "\\.atch fo 1r yonr chann· ··
\\' antl'd a girl
\\·!J, d"l'' 11<0t in·l hPtllJd
Tn Jlll'h a "yood t/Jin!f"
\\"hen it happl'n s an 111 nd
\ girl \\'ith oJJC hl'art .
< )nc mind and one
.\

quct·n an1(111g

i;I(L' -

\\nllH.'ll,

. \ peeress o f grace.
If a .~ ir l like thi s
Can c1·cr ill' iound,
\ fa\'"r \'o>ll'll du me
Ii Y"ll ·will bring her around

"!:."

:30

---------=~

L IF :_E

LIFE

lJRII"ING

T II F:

STUilF:NT

INTO

lJEnT

IDQr 1!\uuk-~um 1J1ir
PUELISIIETI WEAI\LJ' fll' ASD FnR TilE

SPASM

~WA~HINGTON

XXIII

SIX

STUJ)l~.V TS

No. 00

& LEE UNI\'El{S lTY

DR. BLATANE STARTS UPON
TOUR OF UNITED STJlT ES

HUNDRED

PATRIOTS HESPOND TO
FHEEDO ~I'S CALl..

Accompan ied by our special corresA Down-Trodden and Oppressed Student Body Asserts Its Rights and Repudiates ~\;i~~~e~\~;;~i~t~Fef~i:nd~w~~~l t~~:!~~~
the Yoke of Bondage.
ants. incl uding Slimese Blackey and
Henrv O'Dold, Dr. Blatane left Lexingtoil last Tuesday on hi s triumphal
The old liberty bell, wh ose care has I audience th at there was a leader among tour of th e United States.
been en trust ed t o the incessant vigil ' them. A ll yielded to the influences of
Th e sta rt was auspici ous. An imo f "Old George," pealed forth up on th e men tal telepathy and spo nt ~ ne ous l y a mense thron g had gathered at th e depot
placid morning air and challenged th e c;~ll went f orth for P atnck Henry where
th e
doctor's
pri vate
ca r
patriotism of six hundred discont ented Blooddo. "Pat,'' as he is fam iliarly "Bounder" was att ached to the B. & 0.
souls t o answer her call. A few rn a- call ed hy his comrad es, realized th at he "Pttnkinvine Limited." The Lexi ngton
ments later a respo nsive student body was the ordai ned leader of th e hou r, and police, arraved in sca rlet tights, cocked
filed into th e Cha pel and took their stepped forward. After running hi s hats a nd bare-foot scandals. circulated
desi gnated places. Not a seat was va- fingers thr ough hi s hair several time~ among th e crowd, endeav orin g to maincant ; for it had been spr ead ab r?ad and stamping upon the fl oor fo r order, tain ord er. Thi s was very difficult
that arms would be taken up aga mst he began .
owing to the desire of all to obtain
the iron han d of op pression and ven''Fellows. you have· called for your points of vantage fr om which they
geance wrought upon the fla grant dis- 'Pat' a nd he is going t o talk to you might catch a glimpse o f the savant .
cri min ation against a humiliated and just a 'leetle' to the point here this Se,·eral tim es Captain Shel ocko Balker
down-trodden stud ent body. Shyl ock morning. It is very seldom th at I ever was forc ed to make use of his liquid
was determ ined upon hi s pound o f fle sh make a speech, but when I do open my pistol ch arged with H oyt's cologne.
and all were eager to see the operation. mouth I am bound to spit a cinder; and , Happily no one was seriously injured,
The president called the meetin g to when I dr op a cinder it begin s to sizzle alth ough seve ral women fa inted wh en
order and thus proceeded : "Fellow too. H ere lately people have got a fr ai·l the doughty captain st ruck th e notori ous
comrades, the purport of this assembly to come to this Chapel for fear th at cha ra cter. Rockbridge Roughneck, with
is most momentous. Neve r before have somebody will ask th em to j oin th e the larcre chrysa nth emum whkh he was
the students of thi s historic in stituti on Y. M. C. A. or to sign up f or th e Sout/1- carrying.
been called upon to confront such an ern Collegia11. N0w, I am not going to
The crowd had begun to grow imimpending cri sis . The school we love ask you to join the Y. 1\I. C. A. nor patient when a blare of trump ets anso well is inseparably connected with to give your money to th e Collegial/. nou nced th e arri val of th e noted scholar.
the Jives of th ose wh ose illustri ous deeds I' m go ing to ask you to keep you r Th e \ V. & L. Di scord Bane!. which haJ
have filled th e pages of hi story. \ Ve money in your pockets (prolonged ap- uteen employed for the occ;~sio n. struck
ought to congratul ate ourseh·es upon plause). But in order t o get to my point up, "Hail, Hail. th e Gang's all H ere,"
the fact that our lots h ave been cast I had better drive on. \ Vhat I have to and a brill iant nrocession came into
with a school wh ose ideals and teachings say about money is this : there are a view oYer the top of th e hill.
are gua rded by the mem ori es of th ose lot of illiterate ya ps h ang ing a round this
In front came Capt. Glummy Course
two immortal heroes who glorified the bu rg and making their li ving off of anrl Dr. Peruse \Vhi teguy. mounted on
eras in wh ich th ey lived bv th e gr ea t- students who don't apprecia te us or ou r gaily caparisoned milk-whit e nanny
ness of their mi ghty deeds. Now fellow- money either. If it were not for the goats, and ca rrying banners upon which
students, shall we sit idl y uy and see students th ere wou ld be no Lexington. were embbzoned the words. " \V e are
our sacred rights tramp led in th e mire Yet the so-called authorit ies of th is the whole Cheese!" Directly behind
of discrimination or shall we emulate god-for saken place have see n fit to hau1 th em came Mayor Scuta, mounted
the examples o f th ose who lend th eir up se,·eral of ou r number for looking upon a Jet-black ass. and wearing a
names to this University and assert our cross-eyed in the picture show and P aquin T oga embroidered with butterprowess in an attem[lt at uni ve rsal fr ee- othe rs for eating onions f or supper and cups ; on either side of him r ode h eralds
dam ? I shall not consu me any more bringing a heavy breath into town. Now, I carrying hanners hearing the legend:
of your va luab le tim e but want to hea r my co ntenti on is that it is an inalienab le ''Drink a nd be merry t o-day. and tothis question fr eely di scussed before right for a man to look cross-eyed and morrow you wi ll he jugged.'' :-.!ext came
we take final acti on: fo r we must act. to eat oni ons wherever he pleases. Of ten college widows, arrayed like nymphs.
Ou r ri ghts are peri shin g."
course, thi s doctrin e does not apply to h pleasa nt smiles, and clinging gow ns
At this juncture th e president took his women. hut to men onlv. \ Ve have of cream-colored chiffon embroidered
seat. All was silenc e. Not even a bee n deprive d o f our ri ghts and th ere with pretzels. Th ey sang "Casey J ones,"
whi sper was h eard. Everyone was lend- must he a remedy. Nobody knows for ;:; nd strewed da nd elions a long th e way,
ing hi s th ought s to th e g rav ity of the cer tain just who is responsible for all all the whil e rendering th e Salome in
occasion. The principles o f psychology this damnation which is being visited a most att ractive manner. Tmmediately
began to make themselves man ifest and upon students, but I have a hunch th at beh ind th em came a large sixt y-horsean Undercurrent bega n to perva de the
(CONTINUED ON PAGE 2]
!
(CONTINUED ON PAGE 2]
1

THE RANK-BUM FIE

2
FANCY DANCE BALL A HUGE SUCCESS

SIX HUNDRED PATRIOTS RESPOND
TO FREEDOM'S CALL

DR. BLATANE STARTS UPON
TOUR OF UNITED STATES

Brilli ant Affair Eclipses All Pr ev ious
[ CO :'\Tl:'\l'ED FRO~! r.\GE l.j
[ CO:'\ TI:'\l'Ell F RO ~! l'AGE 1.)
·r.u mmy' a nd the ') cw ' ha\' e a lin ge r power Blitzcn llrush limousine. driven
Efforts.
in thl' pic. So t o make su re \\'l' mu st h) Capt. l.alkcr. who was at tired in the
gt'l at th em hy the process of elirnina- most apprm·cd style direct from Pa ris .
\\'a shington and Let· ha s long hccn twn. \\' e an· hou nd to ha\'e justice and \\'ithin the ca r. whi ch was ga ilv benotcd for the brilliancy ann·nt fancv dancc ball. giYcn undt·r the who don't apprt·ciate us. In su pport of o f Hcnr v O'Dold, hi s friend. th e note d
au~pic,·s ;,f the \ 'crmil ion Club. su.r- m~· suggt·stion and that I may not he g lobe tn;ttcr.
Dr. nlatanc's old and
passt·d :111 r•t lwrs in its heauty. and wdl without authnrit\' 1 want t o sa v that trusted valet. Slimese Blackc\', dressed
1( n1g he rc.:nH:nlhl'red hy th~ 1sc who snw this meth od was used to some" avai l in a bo ttl e-green li ve ry trinimeit a,; a nwdel of its kind.
against th e 'lluckcye Ston· l'ompan~·.' old rose, carne next upon a speckled ass.
The nld rink had ht·en transformed Sn 1 think that we studt·nts woulmagir hand nf the decoration com mi!- l~hn r union. .\'"''' th is is all th a t I ha\'e stocki ng s. Roman sandals and kilts. eac h
tce whose tireless energies w ere rcrted tm\'arcl the result in g cha nge. The fro m an argumcntat i,·e st a ndpoint .
held hy a gol d fil let set with chcrrycolor scheme of pea g reen an d lav cnclcr
"llm in conclusio n I wa nt t o say a stones.
was ]a\ ish ly ca rried ou t cYcn t o th e word in r ega rd to tlw principl e o f this
Arrivin g at the tintin1-: of the favors. which were minia- ou tra ge. :\nd when the tlulc ct so und halted. Dr. Tilat anc's car drew np t o
ture phntngr aphs o f "Sadie Salome" in of principle tourhes my ear it arouses the pla tform. and th e door opened . Dr.
nm· nf her characteri sti c poses.
C\ crv facultv of Ill\' C'Xis tence.
Our Blatane. a rrayeDark-red lan terns, a ppr o priate!~· hun g. persecu tor s !i an~ vinfatcd a g rea t prin- sil k stockin gs. and a purple toga,
c;,s t a mell ow glow ove r all. an d were ciple of Just ic e. Principle ! \\'hy. it is emerged from th e ca r o n the arm of
relieved here and th er e by the irid es- the foundation of e,·c rvthi ng.
r f we Henr v O'Dn!d. l-I e was followed bv a
n·nt gleam of modem elec tric al appli- do not a\'ail ou r selv es ·of thi s oppor- page ·hearing upon a gold tray a c;.,py
am·es. wh ose yellow rays fi tt ed well with tuni ty an d r epud iate th e yoke o f bo nd- of the Doctor's famo us book, ".·\m cri the cnln r sc heme .
agc to whi ch ou r e nem ies arc trying ca's Gumpo wdt·r.'' Th e ,·olurnc was
.- \ great hank of ferns a nd palms, ar- to ~uhject us. sho rt will he th e r eign artistically hou nd in pink hull ski n
ran).!cmu>icians, whose excellent renditions I kn ow not wh a t course oth ers rnav su bj ec t o f much com ment .
were one o f th e pleasa nt mem orie s o f pursue, hut for me. gi,·e me libe rty or
\\' ith sta t<'ly step th e lea rn ed Doctor,
tlw hall.
give me dea th!"
wit h 1\Ir. O'Dold. mounted the steps o f
1lainty refreshm ents were passe r!
"Pat" t ook hi s sca t amidst a lo ud and thl' car "Rounder.'' which was goraround dming the int ermissions hy the prolongcd applause, and for sc\'eral geously decorated with morning-gl ory.
Lit er a r y Society "goats.'' who were minutes he seemed l tllally ove rc ome by pumpkin blossoms an d gi lded peach
forced to do thi s menial serv ice at th e the stra in of passion. Ili s frien'b seeds. On t he rear platfo rm they halted .
command o f their m aster s.
tlooded him with feli cit:H inns upon hi s I Dr. Glatanc faced th e multitude, whi ch
P r ompt lv at t en o'clock the ha ll was c·fTorts. and other s took pains t o note cheer ed loud ly. 1t could he seen that. he
c>pened. hc.ralds ad ,·a ncing a nd announc- that he was \'cry ap tly named Patrick st rugglt-d hard t.o su ppress h1s emoll:'n.
ing tht· open in g figure . This was beauti- llenrv. Th e president arose a nd asked .\ t len gt h he r a tscd In s hand and smc l :
ftdh· k\\' car Few· Clothes. who conduc ted th e instantly t en o r twc l\'c \\Trc contendin g S(asnn. l\Iatters o f impo rt to my cou nrouples through the intricate ,,·indin gs for th e floor. :\ fter a brief wran gle try ca ll me from my sc holast ic st·cl uand whirls of an o ld-fashi on ed "Turkey Pit chfn rk llullcmwell was r ecogni ze d. sio n ; affair s at \ Vashingt on a re not as
Trot.'' while. with so ft strain s, the or - Th e au di ence knc.>w th e temperamen t o f they should he. I mu st settl e these afC'h,·st ra r end erer! "Ever y Litt le 1\I ove- thi s unique' cha raC't cr a nd hi s reputati on fair s ! 1t is a lso my mi ssion in life to
ment !l as A !\leaning A ll It s Own .''
fo r dras ti c legis !at ion; so everyone. give to the world peace-peace. cverlas t:\1 iss Few C lothes wore a hcauti ful realizing that he woul d avail him self of ing a nd unint er ru pted ! \ \'hen I have
string of pea rl s.
the opportunity afforded bv the occasion, accompl ished the se labors I will once
This was onlv a foretaste of wh at wa s was a nxi ousiy awaiting his ac ti on. again return t o ~·ou and resume my
to C'nll1l', howe\•e r. for soon the C'Ott pl es "Pitchfork" step ped fo rward am idst a humble position as one of you; until
were mer ril y danc in g th eir way through thunderous r oar of applause. and a ft er then. ad ieu!"
a bouncing. hou ndin g bunny-hug spe- addressin g th e chair. thu s began:
!!ere th e he loved Doctor hrokc do wn
C'ial. kd hy Mr. 0. I. Hu g-gu m and Mi ss
"~ l en. r am gni n).! to di spense wit h the I a nd w ep t upon the shoulcla o f hi s comLucv Littk~ign.ct ring .
cas1on hke th1s and ge t dnwn to the ca r. !linch feehng w:Js manifested hy
Danc in g proper was th en begun. and question at onC('; fnr time is ton pre- the assem bled thr o ng.
:\! a ny hrokc
the ligures and s pecia ls th at followed C'inns at this moment to dl'\'OIC to fo r - down and wept, while ot her s blew thdr
were a ll of th e hi ).!h est order, si ne<' mal itics. I fear th at so me o f \ 'O U do no,;cs with g reat unc ti on.
nonr wcr.. permitt ed t o da nC'c unll' ss not fullv reali ze th e "radt\' ;1f th is
Tlw jangling nf a t nm:~ t o can affixed
th ey cou ld pro111n111cn- t•> the engine ~ignilicd the willingness
re rti licall'. show in g that th e lwarl'r was lo>US as that precious 111011ll' lll whl'n J ohn of the t rain \c) 1110\"C. The crowd
an adl'pl at the Long and S hor t Ho:;ton, I lancnck began to ~ign the DeC'laration chct'rl'd: the b:md played. "l.ootl-hyc
tht• r;rizzlv !:car. th e Tl'X:lS Tomnl\', of In dependence. < lur articlll ht•rt• tn- l.ittk Cirl. l.ond- hyl'.'' and soon the he·
the Kam:aroo Clasp. and all ot her steps day means ju~t as much 1<1 thi~ stude nt ln\'l'd llortor sta rt ed upon his unpre of the Terpsic ho rea n art.
hody as tht' Declara ti on of ln dcpcnd- n deutcd tour.

as

I CO!';TJNUEll

ON PAGE

3. ]

[CO:''TI:'\l'ED 0:'\

P.\GE

3. ]

[ CO:'\TI:'\U:Jl 0:'\

P .\C.E

8.]

THE RANI{-BU:L\'1 FIE
JANITOR RECEIVES A CALL

Washington and Lee in Danger of Losing a Valuable Servant.

D ick Gooch, ou r popular j anit or, ha s
ju st r eceive,] a ca ll from th e trustees
o f th e University of Bushwah, near
Peoria, Ill., in which he is offer ed a positi on like h e holds her e.
A lways bein g noted as a most efficient
worker, and. as he si nce being here has
widened th e scope o f hi s work , it is no
wonder th at hi s fam e has spr ead
ab road.
·when inter viewed by a r epr esentativ e
o f THE RA NK-B uM FIE, h e said, ''A h
don' know weathah ah sha ll r ecept the
offah or not, but it suttinl y looks
lmnpricious to me.
If ah does leave
heah, hit won't be fob the f ouh dollahs
extry a month whi ch ah will git, but ah
shall go foh de opachunity of di stru cti ve
work which th e fie ld affodes.
"Ah was up der e free yeahs ago when
ah axd r essed de 'Janitors S ociation' of
colleges, and lawdy, ma n, ah neve r saw
sich a place as wh at needs mo' cleanen
in all rna life. A h shall gib rna answer
to de publick as soon as ah can and a h
promises ah will except onl y atter full
considera tion."
Immediately upon hea rin g o f thi s
o ffer, th e tru stees of th e Un iversity h eld
a call meeting and voted Dick an increase in salary. an d adopted r esolutions
expressing appreciati ons o f hi s ser vices,
and inserted a petition for him to r emain.
A monster dem onstration is being
plann ed by the students, and Dick will
be called on for a speech i f his natural
modesty does not pr event him fr om being f ound.
A petition will be placed on th e
Bull etin Boa rd, a nd a ll who have not
signed it ar e urged to do so at once.
FANCY DANCE BALL A HUGE SUCCESS

(CON TI NUED FROM PAGE 2. )
Only one unf ortun ate incident marred
the gayety o f th e occasion, that being
the ejection of a couple who were discovered dancing th e unconventiona l twostep and waltz.
Unfo rt unately, too, quite a good many
lost th eir ca r ds, and so a complete Ji st
of all th ose dancing could not be gotten,
but if possible will be furni shed in our
nex t issue.
If you owed the Lexington P ool Company $17.50, how mu ch would Beddow?

SIX HUNDRED PATRIOTS RESPOND
TO FREEDOM'S CALL

3

CENTRAL HOTEL

(CONTINUED FROM PAGE 2. )
(Oppo• ite Chinese Laund ry)
ence did t o th e Am eri ca n nation. So
conside r you r selves in th e same position
as th ose self-sacri fic ing pat ri ots on July
6 BITS
4. 1776. No w, a ft er my hi stori cal demonstrati on of the situati on, 1 a m su re
A DAY AND UP
yo u fully r eali ze you r grav e r esponsi bility.
''Shakespeare says th at 'a ll men ar c Let Siamese tend to your baggage
cr eated eq ual.' Now, thi s being so, a ll
Special rates for Vaudeville
men ought to enj oy the same ri ght s and
immunities in life. But we students have
Companies and
been made a n excepti on to thi s blessed
principle of liberty, and have been di sStudents
crimin ated against. A n outrage has been
perpetrated upon th e ever-l oving sons
of fr eedom! The hour for fre edom has
st ruck; so we mu st avail ourseh·es of
MEALS SERVED NOW AND THEN
th e g lori ous opportunity.
My fri end
'Pat.' who preceded me on thi s fl oor ,
stc med to ha ve a delicacy in app r oaching this quest ion. H e would n ot come
out and ask for defi nite acti on, hut
merely suggested th at we boycott some(Assis ted l>y Joe)
body. H e handl ed th e matt er with ki d
g]o,·es and seemed to be feeling for pubANYTHING YOU WANT F R 0 :\1
li c o pinion. Now, I am not f eeling f or
your pulse and am not making mer e
CANDY to GOSSIP
sugges ti ons; I demand so me defi nite
acti on . So, in order to get th e question
in some tangible form , I want to make
the foll owing moti on, which 1 sc ratch ed
oft on a piece of paper whil e my predeHobble-Skirted Customers
cesso r was taking up you r time with hi s
futile suggestions. H er e is my moti on:
Have my sympathy
" 'That we, th e stu dent s o f ·washington a nd Lee Un iversity, do j ointly and
severa ll y pledge ourselves to boycott
"Gummy" and " lky'' n ow, henceforth
15c W ORTH OF CANDY FOR 5c IF YOU
and for everm ore.'"
"Ju st a word now in f avor o f my
TALK RIGHT
mot ion. You will notice from th e wording of my propositi on th at it is very
com prehensive, and that th er e is no way
of escape. It is a sure shot. \ Ve have
dead a im ; so how ca n we miss? Now,
I a nticipat e that some psalm-singing
suck er is going to get up her e a nd try
to persuade you th at these afor esaid
OUTFITTER
ge nts a rc pro bably innocent, and a r e
being made the victims of unju st legislati on . \V e kn ow th at somebody is the
If you don't see what you want
cause o f thi s di scrimin at ion, a nd I think
that th e su r est way to fi nd out is by
th e process o f el iminati on. By thi s
ASK FOR IT
method we ca n't lose ; and, furth ermor e,
I think th at ci r cumstances ar e in our
favor. According t o 'Daddy', ci r cu mstan tial evidence is th e best evidence.
WE SELL EVERYTHING
So I demand a vote on thi s question."
The presiden t ari ses and again re minds th e aud ience o f th e import ance
of the issue, a nd then places th e moDON'T GO TO OTHE R PLACES AND
tion . before th e house for gener al discussiOn.
GET SKINNED
Pat ri ck H enry Blooddo is r ecogni zed.
''Mr. President," he says. "J arise her e
COME HERE
(CON TI :-
MRS. PETTIGREW

I. WEINBERG

T H E HANJ{.JJl 1)1 l'IE

Wl1r L~ anlt-~htut ~tr
\\' A:.;I!I:>U TO:" ,1;. L ~:E ll:>IVER ~IT ''
PU UL l~HKD

WEAKLY

l:lubs~rtp!~;.'b~~·~;~v·~J~:~1 2'~~ti~~~·. ,..;:·e

eredlt

Tbere nre no matt<'r< of business; we don't
betleve In mixing it witb likrature.

N J·:~I

BULLE~!\\'

D r. Discount Stevens was ou t o f town
la~t week, being called t o referee a bout
between "h:id" Tuff and "Red'' Ruff.
Roderick !Jeddow and Garland Jacksnn atterHle
they a r e to be expC'cted in the natural R:s~~~ .. 1~~~~~:~,~· ·;~~~gg~~~e~\~so,~ol~~~~
c< •ursl' of <"vents.
teercd for missionary work in. China.

EDITORIAL STAFF
P~:-1

PERSONALS

h~ remaining for weeks at a ti me on
<>ne drunk. thus making two drunks last
a whole year.
:\rnong these men are
some of the most prominent in college,
and we tru:-;t that others will follow
tlll'ir example.
The regulation regarding flunks is 110 t
f
I
f
. I
I
b
0
sue 1 nwment. or tt las a ways een
our policy tH.>t to worry m·cr these, as

ELL

Chi efHeribe
u. I. \\'JUUHT

"Fats'' i\1 iller ha s recently been made
\\'e wish to congratulate the ribbon cnxsw;tin of the Lusitania crew for
1913
S<•cidies on the excellence of their ini·

Anotht"l r :-;t·riLe

ASSOCIATE EDITORS
Tbere are none of tb .. ,.,e on thts •·ug. We don't tiation performances h eld recently on
Charlie Holt ht~ "{~h~rawT/ ro:n ~olj
uelleve tn llgure bends.
the campus. \\'e feel safe in a,:sertim; 1 1eg<'. t~> enter t e · nt on
1eo OgJCa
that never hdore in the h istory of these SeHnnary.
nrganizati~>ns ha,·e such first-ela,:s ex:'ll aEDITORIALS
h:bitions Leen given. and we hope they seen next season at the Lnic in her
I I<:rdofure we have endea\' ort:d to "ill serve as a standard for all future new play. "The Girl from Cairo."
cooperate, as far as possible, with the efforts.
Ted Leap came up fr om Lynchburg
Facultv in maintaining a hi gh st anda rd
.\ proof of this was the large attend. one dav last week.
o( cx~cllence in the l'niversity. This ance "f ladies. all of whom remained I
• [coxTtNl'ED ox PAGE G.]
has been Cllmpa r ati vely easy thus fa r, through the performance.
as our former !Je!oved President enThe jokes told and the songs sung
GREAT SALE NOW ON
and agr eeable to all.
while till' impersonations them5elves
L YONS TAILORING
1'\uw, however, has come a new re- we r e so lifelike th at it was easy to
gime. aiHI. in spitl' of ou r violent pr o- imagine the originals ther e themselves.
te>ts, our dearest and most ancient pre.\!t h ough forced t" go through with
ALL S35 .00 SUITS H A YE
r ogat i,· es an· b<.:ing taken frum us.
this very trying ordeal twi ce, the "goats •I
BEE~ REDUCED TO
T here was a tim e wh en a man cou ld c••nductcJ themseh·es in an admirable
drink ami llunk in pursu it uf happiness, mat!lllT, an$34.75
without havin g the constant fear of with the "spirit" of the occasion .
.-\ utomatic Rules and other tyr an ni ca l
iw.titutions cont in ually intruding them PAY WHILE WE WAIT
s<:lvcs upon his pleasures.
It is a source of grea t gratificat ion t n
But those halcyon Jays are gone, a nd u·; \11 learn that a prominent member oi
the hand oi the oppressor lies heavily the Faculty has heen cleared of th e
UJll•n us. ( ht r drunks an ar<: now limited t u two, a11d college life Faculty hall game.
THE STUDE:-;"TS' FRIE:\ D

-===============-

I

Co.

I-I. 0. DOLD

is one Unt·nding round of gloum. The
idea oi limiting our d r unks to two IS
utterly prt•posterous. Som e Campbell:;
might C<•nline themselves to two drunks
a year, !Jut we arc not camels. and w e
thank <; od for it! :'\ut only does thi s
strike at th e very root of our liberty,
but it is an aspersion upon ou r honor
a' Sou th t-rn gcntlcJII<'n. \Yl· arc m<:n of
honor. and are fully com petent t o limit
or unlimit our own drunks.
;\;o right-mindewill he governed by thi s absu rd regulati on.
In fact. we are cred it ably inf ormed that 'omc are already evading it

J t came out in the t rial that this Jisgraceful accusation was brought by the
!11\\'ll
authorities of Lt·xington wi th
tll·liherate intent to injure tit(' l'niH·r sity. This deplurabk atfair. although
llttl·rly false. h as created profouml excit<'ll1<'nt throughout the country, an\\ e fear that there ate some who beltnc it to he true
The reputati,ns of the men at th e
hlad ni this tnstittJ\Inll should repudiate
any accusation of tln< ktnd, as they
\\'l'l'l' all chosen. with a special view to
honor and veracity, anbeen f ou nd lacking in these qualities.

Wl!O

DON'T BELIE\' II: IN AD\'K RTISIN O

\\'ishe,; to meet you fa ce to fa ce,
On the fir"t of the month in his co rner place.
O:>LY

DI~PE:>!'ER

l:i TO WN Ot'

HOT DOG

l
I

HOT AIR
AND HOT TALES OF EGYPT
Fresh su pply of eakeH just in las t Ch riet maa
Read my motloe.~ and you
will trade with me.

I

THE

R AN K-B U~I

I
ANNUAL FACULTY BASEBALL GAUE
SISSY AND S:HITII STAR
The annual baseball game between the
Faculty teams was pulled off on the
first day of l\Iay. Miss Annie protest ed very st rongly, as usual (this
year she wanted to subs titut e a May
pole dance), but Sissy and Judas were
successful in th eir solicitat ions of the
student vote, and th e election was by a
large majority for the ball game.
The day was clear, and both teams
appeared in due time. T oady's team
won the toss and Sissy, taking hi s place
at the box, Siamese called th e first
batter. Then came a hitch. and for a
while it looked as if the game were
doomed. J ack Latane started th e fuss
by declaring he could not bat with any
stick but th at presented to him by his
dear friend \Vood row after the great
game ending the Historical Society's
Com·enti on in 1888. Rod finally found
Miss Annie sitting upon th e bat, still
hoping for a l\I ay pole dance. J ack
stepped to the plate. Doc called f or
the long yell. A nd Siamese leaned exIJectantly forward. In vain! Sissy declared he could start the ga me with none
other than the ball ma rked Nu sub
Prime-''Tc h, tch. No. P seco11d was for
the lucky seventh. And Tch. tch, Theta
was always used in the ninth, tch, tch.''
The proper ball was at last produced
from Siamese's back pocket and a ft er
all traces of tobacco and gum h ad been
washed off by Harry Moran, th e game
was started. amid a chicka-go-runk led
by the Doc and a sobful monologue on
the fickleness and ungratefulness of
man kind led by Miss An nie.
For eight innings parabolic and hyperuolic curves were solved at will. and
one afte r anot her the sages marath oned
from sack to sack; the only breaks in
the mon otony being a home run in four
steps by Liv in the fif th, a brilliant miss
o f a pop-fly by Jingo in the sixth, and
a commonplace pick-up by Slouch in th e
seventh, and then- The fateful ninth opened with the
score standing 38 to 30 in favor of the
\Vhys. Sissy's face was wreath ed in
smiles as he produced Theta , while
T ommy stepped to the plate. Liv signaled for a straight speedy one, and
T om my laid down a perfect bunt, reaching fi r st safely by a combination r oll
and slide. Howerton slouched to th e
plate, muttering something about the
psychological moment, and by the action
o f his subjecti ve mind propelled the
ball to center. "Prithee, methinks the
hour is set," and Jingo faced the fiercely
twitching whiskers of the pitcher. Being brazed upon th e tip of the elbow
he trotted to first. \Vith the sacks all

5
SIX HUNDRED PATRIOTS RESPOND
TO FREE DO M'S CALL

(CON TI NUED FROM PAGE 3]
t0 make an amendment to the motion
occupied, Little J oe, after swinging jt;st offered by my friend 'Pitc)lfork,'
wildly fo r two wide ones, put up a pop I who was _so thoughtful ~nd co_ns1derate
which John L. clutched fr om his as to rem md you of the unpertmence of
whiskers to regis ter the fi rst out. O ld my previous remarks. I want to show
ITarry swung three tim es and by the you that l:is motion is not a sure shot
au tomatic ru le was relegated t o the and ~hat 1t does not cover th e whole
bench. Sissy, to display his double shoot q_uestw n. flf y argu ment is that, in add iagainst the wily J udas, moved his foot ~~~n to th e boycott on 'Gummy'. 'we do
a ce ntim eter to the left and delivered JOintly and severally refuse to pay the
the sphere. Judas fanned va inly, Daddy various a nd sundry bills whi ch we do
yelled. "How's th at, l\lr. Ump?" And now o we him.' You can readily see
Siamese stepped to the middle of the that my a mendment will be beneficial to
tiel d. ":\ balk" was his decision. In- us, and at the same tim e it will serve
stan tly pandemonium reigned.
The a~ Pt;ni_tive. dama&es for this i~faf!J O US
\\'hys rushed in from all sides, and d1scnmmatwn. wh1ch has been 111fl1 cte~~
Sunny demanded a writ of er ror on upon us. So 1t has a two-fold aspect.
''Pitchfork" interrupts at this point
fo rty-four exceptions. Siamese, r ecognizing the mystic ratio of 7 and 11. and uegins: "Mr. P resident, this is a
stood fi rm.
Sissy declared that the useless amendment; for the point is
separation of hi s f oot fr om the rubber fully covered in my motion. Any ignocould only have been a millimeter. and ramus ought to see that this is implied
that therefore, therefore, it was not pos- from the language of my motion; so,
sible by th e laws of capillary attraction. Mr. President, 1 don't want my proposiAt this point the blue coats of Lexing- ti on butchered up in any such way."
ton ~ ppeared .and c_omplained that James
"Pat" a ri ses here. ''Mr. President,
Lew1s was d1stu rlnng the peace.
after hearing the gen tlema n's explanaSiamese declared th e game to proceed ti on of his moti on l withdraw my
in two minutes under penalty of fo r- amendment ."
fc iture. The declarati on broke Sissy's
J oh n Wesley Galloway, president of
static calm, and a quart et of wi ld ones the Y. 1\l. C. A., next r esponds to the
pushed a tally over. Daddy poled a occasion. This noted character hails
long tly to the left ga rd en, and T oady, fr om one of the hill counti es of Arkanthinking more of th e rabbit th an the sas, where he was principal of the public
catch, let the ball get by him. Four school and also superintendent of the
counts were rung up before the bail Sunday school. His ability t o quote the
\V as r~turned to the diamond. The Scriptures was unlimited, and his debreak m the game had come.
Mary meanor was the very quintessence of
Jane Hancock took a joy ride to fi r st piety. Philosophy was his fav orite subon four. And a fight ensuing between ject. and he was generally designated as
Rod and Boozer, Sissy got wildly ex- "Psychological John."
cited and issued another free pass to
He thus began:
"1\lr. President,
Latane. T ommy lined a grass cutter. to when but a few hours ago the old colDavy, and the latter by a computatiOn lege bell began to spend her rhythm ic
from "Railroad Curves and Earth- melodies upon the balmy breezes of
wo r~ s·· intercepted the. grounder. but. the sleepy morn , I had vis ions of the
makmg a false ca!culauon as to stress, great Millennium which is so beautifully
heaved .the ball mt o the gra ndstand. pointed out in the 13ook of Revelation,
Defore 1t could be found th e score was and was exulting in th e hope that this
tied.
day six hundred souls would be won
Dr. Smith. hav ing been delayed by a for the kingdom come. Eloquence has
reception committee of th e town ladies, st ruck up on the dull, cold ear of indif rushed perspiring ont o the lield and was fe rence and moved, instead, six hundred
called in as a pinch hitter. T oady ob- so uls to a deathless revenge. So my
jected, claiming he was debarred by fondest expectati ons have ueen defeated.
the one-year rule. H owever, a telegram and my onl y hope for the salvation of
arriving fr om 1\fike-''Excellent young this student body has been subjected to
man; fine character; congratulations'' the iron hand of revenge. :\fter hear- he was allowed to go to the plate. ing the situa ti on discussed fully. and
He placed Sissy's first offering over the st:eing clearly th at this student body has
fence. hut, mistaking the lay of th e been discriminated agai nst, and being
land. he ran the bases in im·erse order. from that g rand old State where the
Siamese called him safe, and the scrap name of Je ff Davis has become immortal
\\as on. Sissy insisted that as it was (and of wh om I. mvself, am a most
the reverse of a r un it counted one off ardent disciple), I am bound to cast my
[ CONTINUED ON PAGE 8. )
(CO NTINUED ON PACE 7.]

THE RAN K-HUM .FIE

6
PERSONALS
I
[CO:\Tl:-iUED F RO~ ! P.\GE 4)
The Tidew a ter Club wa s th e h ost a t
an inf o rm al r eception g iven recently o n
the athleti c field.

HAYDEN HOLMES I UNIVERSITY

IN ORDER TO COMPETE WITH THE SAF'IIT Y

C. E. Burks, "The Gentleman from
~I ississippi, " has deci,Jed to ent e r the
political a ren a in his native s t a te . \\' e
predict hi s ctTurts w ill be successfu l on
acco unt uf hi s splend id training along
that line while in thi s Uni\·ersity.

BARBER SHOP

D I CK F O X , I'H OI'RI J,."TO R

RESTAURANT

H.l i.OR

THt: ~ T

WE MAKE THE PRI CE

OF A SllA\'E TEN CENTS

OPEN N IU llT A.'ill DAY

CREDIT

T O

AL L

Il\IPRO:\I PT U BANQ UETS

Quite a number of th e student s are
OU R SPEC IALTY
planning t o emigrate t o Kansas in the
~ummer and engage in w o rk in the
wheat fields. Among tho se not going
WEEKLY
are "Sheep'' Shiles and "Tubby" Web- F OR RECOMMENDATIO NS O F 1:->A:\I E POOL ROOM IN THE REAR.
ste r .
BE!(EFIT FOR ATH LET ICS, CO ;~I E
1:->EE " 13 " CL U B
I N AND B EJ.P TBE TEAM
.\t a recent meeting o f the \\'es t Virginia Club, it w as dec ided t o raise a
~uhs.:ription in o r de r t o send a mis s ionary tu their native state.

LET DING-DONG SERVE YOU

W . C. STUART

LEX INGTON RESTAURANT

Madem oiselle ] ohn cttc Graham will be
seen a t the L vri c n ex t week in "The
l\lidnight Follies uf East Le:-;ington."
~ l lle. Graham is a third cousin o f the
n ot o ri ous Lilliam Graham. wh o w as impli cateBlukes, in X ew Y o rk. For th is rea son
she should prove a drawin g card.
XoTICE:

FOR LADIES. GENTLEMEN

POPULAR BOOKS

AND STUDENTS
O PEN AL L NIG HT AN D

I

UNPOPULAR PRICES

SPECIAL ATTENTION GIVEN TO INEBRIATES ,

In the last iss ue of the
){A:-;K-B U~ ! FIE I n o ticed that I was rel F DESIR I NG ANYTH I NG IN TH!I: LI\'ERY
p or ted as having attended church on
th e Sunday before. I wi s h you would
LI NE CA Ll. ON US. F:XCELLE NT ~TOC K OF
correct th e error, as I did n ot attenchurch hut corrected tes t pr o bkm s all
JACKS and PONIES
hi g heet point of U recian Art
day.-\\'. LECO NTE STE\'E:-;s, B. :\ ..

PH. D.

RAW EGGS

MILEY'S LIVERY

SE RV ED IN SEVEN Dn'FER ENT STYL ES

SA FE RIDING FO R S TUDEN T S
1

" VARSITY FIXINGS "
J o u N W. MI LEY, Prop.
L EXINGTON, VA .

YO U F I N D T II El\1 A LL

I

AT TilE

We Have the Place
We Have the Tables
CO ME IN .l ND RUN UP A BILL, KONTHLY
STAT EMENTS ISSUE D, BUT

S TYLIS H D RI\'I NU H O RS E S
A 8l'EC IALTY

S pecia l rate8 on Carri ages on day of
Boat R ace

NO COLLECTIONS

00 TO OUR OTIIItR STOKE

BRAND-NEW SO I>A FOU NT.I.IN
EXC ELLENT SKR\'ICE

UP TH E STREET

: DRI N K WHILE YOU PLAY

I F YOU DO N'T FIND WHAT YOU WAN T HERE

YOU GET THE GIRL
LET ME FU RNI SH TH E HIG

MADE

I

GRAHAM & CO.

LEXINGTON POOL CO.

THE R A NK-B U M F IE
SIX HUNDRED PATRIOTS RESPOND
TO FREEDOM'S CALL
(CO N TI NUED FROM P.\GE 5.)
lot for th e cause o f freedom which yoa
stre nu ously demand. In my action r
am guided solely by my conscience and
the se nse of righteousness. I a m hea rt ily in favo r of boycotting 'lky' a nt!
·r;ummv' hath. But aft er the boycott
goes oit, l\1 r. P r eside nt , I suggest th at
you appoint a committee t o in ves ti gat e
this matter. JUst to see if th ese vict im s
are really gu ilty of th e crim e with which
th ey a r e cha r ged. I think that th e situation has been sufficiently di scussed, so
I ca ll for th e question."
At thi s point the word "question"
goes up from a hundred seats at once.
The mot ion is put and alm ost tmanimously car ri ed. Pandemo nium r eig ns
for at least ten minutes.
The presid ent appointed P a t Henry,
Pitchfork, and J ohn \V es ley as a committee to investigat e and see if " Iky"
and "Gum my" wer e guilty or not, and
then adj ou rn ed th e meeting till the follow ing Monday a t 3 o'clock, when th e
assembly would convene again to h ea r
the r eport of th e co mmitt ee.
Five days have passed, a nd on Monday afternoon at 3 o'clock six hundred
st ud ent s are again gath er ed togeth er in
th e Chapel to hear the report o f t he
committ ee whi ch had been ap pointed at
th e la st meeting t o investigate the
charges again st ''Gummy" a nd "I ky.' '
The convention is called to o rder, and
"Pitchfo rk," chairm a n of th e committee,
opens the ball thusly: "Mr. Presid ent,
since we last gathe r ed her e thi s co mmunity has been th e subject of a g r eat
metamorphosis in things both terrestrial
and celestial in their natu r e. The voice
ot reason has been cryin g forth in th e
wil derness, and at last her alluring call
has led into the ways of truth. Repentance, with her magic wand , has also
been busy on th e way; so h ea r me while
I sing my song of righteous ness.
" \V e sta rt ed thi s in vesti gati on by an
intervi ew with 'Gummy' in his place o f
business. H e r eceived us with a cordial
greetin g and bowe d his head nearly
down to th e Aoor as a t oken of respect.
Ordinary chairs wer e t oo comm on, so
he prov id ed us a special seat of hon or
and he him self r emain ed sta ndin g all
the while. He st r aightway denied the
charges on which he had been convicted,
an d then began t o pr od uce evidence to
show hi s high esteem for students. Each
member o f the committee was presented
with a five-ce nt package of 'Home-Run'
cigarettes and given soda tickets enough
t o last the r est of the year, which I
think will come in most conveniently
when the weather turns a little wa rm er.
He s mot e each of us on the cheek and
declared tha t we were a bunch of most
St>

excellent you ng men. So, I think that
this all goes t o show that 'Gum my ' has
a tender spot in hi s heart fo r stu den ts.
and th at he is their fri end. rn th e li gh t
nf this evidence th e committee finds
that as to 'Gummv,' h e has been r ath er
harshlv treated, an d in justice to him
recorn in en cls that the boycott be raised.
" Th e com mitt ee concluded its work
by looking into th e cha r ges again st 'Iky.'
\\' e had a rra nged f or a date with him,
and th e int en·i ew was t o be held in hi s
pri vate nffice. 'When th e com mittee
wa lked in he was r epenting in sack-cloth
and as hes. and was ca llin g on hi s father,
.-\br a ham , for forgiveness. Sweet incense was burning upon the table, a nd
the wh ole surroundin g presented an
aspect of hol in ess. H e g r eeted us by
falling upon the neck of each a nd placing a kiss upon th e left cheek. Each
member of the co mmitt ee was presented
\\ ith a season ticket t o the Lyric, aft er
whi ch a lett er was giv en us in tru st to
be r ead to th e student body. Permit
me her e to read the lett er:
'Lyri c Theatre, Jan . 25. 19 I2.
To th e Students o f W ashingt on and
L ee University, L exington, Va.
Most Dear Students :
Vat ha s troubled me so very much
in de clays so r ece nt is de boycott. I
am so \'e ry sorry dat you haf been deprived of so ma ny ni ce good picture
shows by not being permitted t o see
dem. It is quite a sac rifice t o m e out side of my r egu la r bu siness to furni sh
such good ni ce picture shows for de
student s; but I lufe de sentim ent va t is
cc.nnected with th e business, and want
to prove to you dat dis sentim en t comes
out of my lufe f or you stud en t s. As a
furthe r testimonial of my innocence I
vant to add th a t I haf a rranged to have
The Lyri c put on Keith's Circuit f or de
special benefit of stud ent s.
Hopin g dat th ese ex planations in
writings will be clear, I am,
Yours in brotherly lufe,

7
some of you were amazingly surprised.
'T here was method in my mad ness.' I
knew that this stude nt body was on the
way to destruction, and that something
had t o be clone to save it. So the key
to salvation, 'Repent and ye shall he
saved,' flashed into my mind. Know ing
the circumstances, r felt su r e that, if th e
bovcott went on, th e studen ts would
learn the truth later a nd r epent for th ei r
wrongdoing, and thereby, in accordance
with the precious words which I have
jt;st quoted , r eap the r ewa rd of salvation. Thus the motive for my position
nn this question at our last meeting,
and in conclusion I want to say th at thi s
~nycott has not been without its good
res ults."
The quest ion was put and the report
of the comm ittee was unanimously
ad optee!. The meeting was then adjourned si11c die. and five minutes later
two hundred students were standing
arou nd "Gummy's" soda founta in a nd
all calling fo r "chocolate shakes" at th e
same tim e.

..

I Have a Place
Also Some Tables
RESTAURANT

IN THE REAR

EAT WHILE YOU PAY

I SERVE PIEDMONTS, GUM and CADETS

ESQUIRE GRANGER
DUTCH TEA ROOM

IKY.'
''Now, Mr. President, here it a letter
just bubbling over with magnanimity
and fi li a l affect ion, and what ev idence o f
the inn ocence of this man could be
stronger ? So. for th e r easons which I
have just stated, the com mitt ee finds
'Iky' innocent and r ecom mends that th e
boycott be lifted from him.''
A motion is now mad e to adopt the
report and th e question is thrown open
to th e house for general discussion.
John \ Vesley Galloway is r ecogni zed,
who pr oceeds as follows:
"1\I r. Chai rm an, when I a r ose here las t
\ Vednesday a nd, defying th e voice of
re ason, end or sed the boycott, no doubt

QUICK LUNCHES
SERVED WHILE YOU WAIT

PHONE US YOUR ORDERS
AN

HOUR B EFORE
YOU ARRIVE

THE
ALUMNI NOTES

l:rl'hi, nflire in :-;taunton one clay last week.
I~ (;. Thach, 'll. who i,; llll\\' attendin~ th<' l'niH·rsity ,f .\lai>ama, recently
oorgani7<'d a \\' & 1.. .\lumni .\ssnciat inn there. lie was elected pre,;ident.
( ;, II I ktlll\', a former re,;id<"nt oi Lextngt•'ll, i,; ;~n hotwrar~· memlH'r.
)11e J\. :-;attndns, J.J.. n., 'Ji, was rcl'l'tttlv ckc·tt·d justice nf the peace of his
nati,:e t• ,,,·n,;hip, after a closl' and L'Xciting campaign.
llland Terry. ex-'1.3. has been visiting
in l.exingt"n thi, wintl'l'.
0 t'. J;tckson, l.L 1: .. '10, is practicing- in his natin· Lexington. !king .1
little afraid ,f a single struggle, Othn
has rl'cl'ntly S<'l'llred a lwlpmate, ;mnow conntthial hli,;s rl'licves him ,f his
ar\\'ith the adm.,nishm,·nts ,f his happily-mated friend in his l'ar, "(;o thou
and do likewise"-"lack" Kellv, <'x-' 11,
has recentlv taken a ~hanCL' in the matrimonial J.,ttery.

HA~ J{-BU.M

I<' I E

DR. BLATANE STARTS UPON
TOUR OF UNITED STATES

f CO:\TI :>:l'Eil FR!nl P.\l.E 2.]
II is journey 1vas nne of triumph. The
trat·k f,r miles was lined with a multitude of cheering people. The Doct"r
seemed great I~· t<;ttcherl hy these evidences
oi good will. and frequently his hattdkerchid was required to dry his !lowing
ell'S Tlte scenerv 11as beautiful :\!any
d:Jtsies grew itt itLar-b~ lields. These
the I lnctor greatly admtred, once expresstng a ~ I r ( J'Doithe I lnctor's e\ er~ 11 ish, immerliatel y
pr .. rmed a large bunch of the dainty
ll<>ll<'rs. thi s being made possible hy the
lcisurclv progress of the train.
.\t Timber Ridge th e !),,ctor addre,;sed the "Old ·Ladies Dorcas Socil'!v," from the rear platform.
Hi:;
suh)cct was, "Corns, and h ow to treat
them."
He handlcd.t~1~· suhject in a
nwsterly manner. eltcttmg muc 11 applausc.
\\'hen Staunton was reacher! it was
learned that the !neal ''Female Suffrage
Club" had turned out en masse tn intlrview thc Doctor. Upon learn in g thi s
ANNUAL FACULTY BASEBALL GAME he manifested great agitation and
[L'ONTINl'Eil FI
5]

the score, thus giving hi,; team thc game.
Sunnv came back that ill· the rule in
Shell~··s case the bases ·had reversed
themselves and the run counted. Li1· insisted that hy the ditTerentiation of a run
it would he against the laws of mathematics to count it. nttt Joe replied that
hy the equitable doctrine of ""n1·ersinn
the \\'ho's \\'hos had the gatnt'. James
l.ewis was in the midst .,f an explanation of how thl' dwmistrv ni th e
neutralization of acids and saits affectetlte rase whl'n darknl'SS clc>scenSiamese. now declaring tlwt it was ton
dark to rontillltl' the game, and :\I iss
:\nnie going home to suppc>r, it was derided to pttt the qul'sti"n before the
Trtt,te~s for their decision.
ended
one of the liercest ;mrl hardest-fought
games in the annals of Faculty hasehall.
Th e teams lined ttp as follows:
\\'II YS
\l'!!o's \\'!Ins
T oAilY (Capt.), If. .f.ICK, 2d.
JoH:; L., ss.
To"t~t\', rf.
D.I\'Y, cf.
SJ.ot'CII, If.
Ln·. c.
J t:>:<:n. p.
St •:>:1'0Y. rf
JoE, d.
tlt.n II limY, c.
J.~"IES LEWIS, 2<1.
(;HA:>:, Jst
.fnl.\s (t'apt. ), ss.
ll.\[)11\', i>t.
Ct'TF.Y, 3d.
:\L\t:E, Jd.
SisSY. p.

s,

WANT ADS .

\\.\:"\TED-Twenty industrious young
men. I can give twenty in dustri o us
young men permanent <'mploymen t on
my simple test problems. No knowledge needed :~nrl little gil'en.
No
athlete need apply.
I

I\\'

\:"\TED-Fift~ fat men
If you are
aftltrted 11 tth an excess o f avoirdupnis tn mv safe and speedy treatment
I guaran t<'e to make you lean
tn one month
I
). r, DisHER,
Universtty Commons
.
.
I Try my sure cure for msomma.
At
le;tt't •t~ l.~our of peaceful sleep guaran ee< 'at Y·
lk CREE:\\'AI.F. CowBELL,
Tauru s Hall.
i \\'.\:'\TED- Bv :\lr. llugh \\'hite, a pplicants for 'course in Co mmerce V .
l'nles' more members of this class
arc ol•tained it must h<' rliscontinued.

\\'.\:'\TED-Bv Bna rrl of Trustees, a
President ,,:ho is willing t o visit
alumni associations a nd banquets.

;~~~~mk H\~ 111\'~~~·e~n\~: ... ;~e s~le~~l~n~~, ~f=

\\ .. \:'\TED-Dv

the Freshman Class, a
competent Sc'>phomore \ ' igilance Commit tee . Self -Gove rnment is a fa il u re .

f vrted hv thi~ deplorable ep isorle th.at he

\\'as f or~·e
ing there until \\'ashi ngton was reacherl.

ADAMS EXPRESS

lie was '" fatigued hy hi s journey

~~\\':~ ~fr. '''c"J!b.~;:;m,f~~i~~~\,~~, i~~i~n~~~t~~
all.
The Doctor will remain tw n days
in \\' ashingtnn, during which time h e
11ill straighten out the atlairs nf a
rnwked l'nngress, con fer with President Taft. encourage \\'nod-pile \\'isdom, anrl put a crimp in Then. Roose·
velt. He will also address numerous organizations for the promotion of w orld
peace. and also the "Lydia E. Pinkh am
\' c>gc>t:Jhlc l ·om pound Chapter" of the
". \ meric:.t,n Fed<'ration o f Incompetent
I l'mal<'s.
From there he will proceed to X ew
Y nrk, where he will dine with .Ill ary
(; arden and Ev a Tan gway. Then he
11 ill go tn Chicago a nd San Franci,co,
rl'!urning b~· the Son thl'rn r oute.
l\1r. Push em Penwell will write, daily.
a detailed ::tccotmt of the tour for thi s
I•'IJ"'r. \\'e fe<'l that \l'l' are pl'rfnrming
a great service tn the pnhlic in thus
bringing th<'lll into~ such close contact
with the doings nf the noted Doctor

co

DI:-;TRIBUTIXG AGE XTS
FOH. WA S HIXG TOX,
ROANOKE

AND

STAUNTON,

LYNCHBURG

BREWERY ASSOCIATIONS
I

REDUCED RATES
ON BARRE L ORDERS

X :-;"1 !Til
Umpire: Siamese. nat hoy: lkdtlow.
Sts'Y: .111 r . Gibson, what is a vac\\'atcr hoy: 1\J.,ran. Sc .. rekL·epcr: Uncle
felT.
~I a,;cnt:
The slt:Hk of I3oozer. uum?
(;IB~o=-- : I knoll', but I can't express
(-beer leader: Doc Pollard.
it. I've got it in my head .
x hatter! for Slouc h in th e ninth.

•

ALl, ~ITIPMENTS UNDER ONE O.I.LI.ON
~IU ~ T

BE

CALLEn

FOR

AT TIJE OFFICE

THE RANK-BUM FIE

9

=====================================-=---===:--------POETS'

CORNER

DESICCATED
ARISTOCRATS
ANNUAL MEETING

HOLD

Excellent Papers Read and Important
Business Discussed.
The Loser's Lay.

In the old Lee Dormitory, looking eastward to the hills
The crap-shooters are si tting, each with
his coin and bills.
You can hear the bones a-rolling, and
the one behind them cries:
"Come you seven, come you 'Ieven:
don't roll 'box cars' or 'bird eyes.'

"Ship me somewhere out of college.
where a man like me ain't bled,
\ Vhere there a ren't no bones a-rolling,
and a g uy can keep ahead.
F or I hear my parents calling. and it' s
soo n at home 1'11 be,
By the old farm on th e river, where no
bones can worry me.

'' Come you seven, oh, I pray,
Don't refuse me, bones, to-day:
Can't you see that guy a-fooling me
with coin to throw away.
And th e poker game don't pay,
For a guy like me can't stay,
Since the pot is up so hi gh I'd never
have a say.

"Oh! th e wild oat s I lea rned to sow,
Wh en out with th e boys I'd go;
Can't you see 'dead ~o ldier s' lying, piled
on the ground below?
But soon with plough and hoe
I will forget to kn ow
The old Lee Dormitory , and the boys
wh o won my dough."

A Ball-Room Ballad.

Trials of a Freshman.

Break! break! break!
A Freshman-very green was he,
And dance with this gir l for me.
In social ethics lacking;
Eight now I have had in succession.
Bet he could kis s JUst any girl,
A nd she moves like a ship on the sea.
A nd he had lots of backing.
Oh! well for the lucky boy,
And so th ey took him ou t one nigh t
Wh o is with the queen of the ball;
T o see th e College Widow,
Oh! well f or the hapless stag,
\Vh o was very shy and deb onair,
Wh o, languishing, leans on th e wall.
When the Freshman tried to ki d her .
The stately dames go on
With breake rs lined behind;
He thought of all the coin he bet,
But, oh! for the touch on my shoulder
He knew he couldn't miss;
of one
For she seemed n ot unwilling
Plenty ahead but none behind .
T o let him have the ki ss.
Break! break! break!
But though he tri ed with a ll hi s might,
No escape can I see;
And seemin gly went daft,
But "H ome, Sweet Home" is bound to He saw his chances slip away,
come,
For the widow only laughed.
A nd bring sweet joy to me.
"You dear, little boy," she said to him,
"You reall y ought to kn ow,
Your fath er tried thi s very gameJust tw enty years ago."

T he Lexington Society of Desiccated
Aristocrats held its annual meeting on
last Tuesday evening at eight o'clock
at "Mosstop,'' th e ancestral home of
Mrs . Pedig ree Snob, th e president of
th e orga nization. The a ncient house
with it s quaint air o f old age and gen~
er.al decay, was tastefully decorated
with th e many ancestral trophies of
th e hostess' family, conscipuous among
th ese being the bullet which struck the
~ os tess' grandfather, General Bigmut,
111 th e seat of his trousers, as he left
th e field at the Battl e of Bull Sling.
This was proudly displayed by Mrs.
S nob, and was the subject of much
com ment.
The meetin g was called to order in
th e room made fa mous by General
Stuckup Bigstiff, when he had a severe
cas e of nos e bleed there after his long
run from th e fie ld at the Battle of
J acktown. The blood spots are still
preserv ed in their ori ginal state, and are
the mecca of many pilgrims yearly.
The fi rst thing on the program was
a paper entitled "The Menial Plebeian,"
by Mrs. G. Ime Itt, whose mother's
cousin's husband's g reat uncle, the noted
Doctor F athead Pillpop, gave Washington a dose of Fahrney's Teething Syrup
just afte r he had bitten the neck off of
a larj!e beer bottl e. Mrs. Itt handled
her sub jec t in a masterly and truly aristocratic manner.
Mrs. Anne Ces tor Hightop came next
with a lea rn ed dissertati on on " H ow
My Grandfather Caught the T ooth ache."
In this paper she showed a ma rv elous
kn owledge o f local historical lore, and
deeply impressed her h ear ers with the
ga llantry o f her ancesto r, wh o, it will be
reme mbered, exposed himsel f to this
dreadful malady by lying all night in a
swam p, chasing " will o' the wisps" with
which to light Jackson's pipe when
th e matches ran out.
A nother most enjoyable paper was
"Who's Who and Why," by Mrs. Biggun Wholecheese. It will be remembered that h er grandf ather, Captain
Breakenrun Faster, sprained hi s great
toe at th e Battle of Seven Kegs, and
su ffered unt old agony for many months
as a res ult o f th e unf ortunate acc ident.
These papers and several minor details having been disposed of the meeting went into a business session. The
chief business of the evening was a
classifica tion of Lexington society. This.
it was demonstrated by Mrs. Little
[CONTIN U ED ON PAGE JO]

THE

10
DESICCATED
A R I STOCRATS
ANN U AL MEETING
(co:'iTI:'il'Ell ~RO~!

P.\GE

HOLD

9]

RA~I{-B U M

McCRUM'S

Purs<~

:\1 uchblood. is absolutely neccssan· for the successful maintenance of
the. social exclnsin~nt>ss oi thc Desit:cated Aristocrats. Sht> }ouintcd uut that
i i som( social lines wcre nut drawn it
would be possible fur the Ylllgar second
class. cr honest workers and stue\·cntu,tlly attain social equality \\ ith
thto .\ristncraU;
The following class
distinctions were therefore made:
First-Those eligible to social reccrats. This class
shall be composed only of those who
posscss a good and sufficient family tree.
:'\ ut less than one of their ancestors
must ha ye had at least a case of nuse
bleed in defense of his countrv.
The ":\neestral Home" shali be in a
5tate of aristocratic decav. The greater
the decay. the greater shill! be the social
prestige of the indi\ iclnal.
The Coat of A.rms must he of a goud
and sufficient model and design.
The individual must abstain frnm all
forms of prntitahle employment and
shall at no time ha,·e in his possession
a sum exceeding thirty cents.
The blood of the individual shall.
upon chemical analysis. show n<•t less
than 999-10 per cent f)lue.
Secand profitable employment anti of that
tmspeakahle species of (;emls llnmo
known as students. This class shall in
no wise and under no circumstances re~eiYe social rec• 011;11ition bv the First
Class.
·
Third Class-These shall ],,· the negroes and poor whitc trash. both uf
whif'l1 are. of course, unmcntinnahlc in
polite society. i. e., the First t 'lass.
The Fourth Class is termed the mtellectual class.
These. hm\"C\"er, are
so J.:"reatlv in the minnritv that thev neeha~mentioned.
·
·
Th~se matters h:n·ing hel'n disposed of
delightful refreshments were scn·cd
upon the mag-nificent pewttT service
made of the bullets that failed tfl catch
General I \igmut as he ldt tht• licld at
Uull Sling.
The meeting then :1djoumcd until
next \"e;crage will llt'
considered.

Le

B. & 0 .

HAILHO AJ)

~afe riding for all . :--ipced
t•xct·t~d nv~·nlllt's pe r hour.

~uu rantt•t· ll

not to

Itu·hrin.t(•d stn{kllt .. ;

rc l..u rnln~ fro1u :-\Lau n ton J,!'lven :-.pcl'lnl ntt.t·np
Uon . Nn un!\lghtly t'O\\'t•atc:hers on our I'll~
g-lnt•s. \\.. P J!IVe tin• t'OWH thrh_• to gt·l out of thtWa\".
Scener~· bt•antlful, and you lm\'P llnH•
to ttdiJIIre It. You IlPPd Jll"\'Pr \\'orrv uhuut t lu·

scheduh·;

\\'t•

don't u.,.e one·. T rav'el \\'ith u:o~

tlutl get your II HJney's worth

FIE

IS

the HUB

E \ .ERYBO D Y

BU MS at McCRUM'S
CREDIT P l i'E~ . C IGARS, CIGARETTES AXD ALL
GRADES OF TO BACCI>

Matches Will Sell for One Cent a Box This Week
C H E CKS FREELY CASHED
:-30)JE GOOD HEASO~S WHY YOU
:-;H O ULD P.\. TRO~lZE THE

Students' Co-operative Book Store
Nice ch airs and benches to lounge in.
Anything you want charged.
Conveni ent locati on- we pay no rent.
H e atlquart e r~ for frat ernity jewelers and habe rdashers.
Coins furnish ed for matching for chocolat e, guru, etc.

Come In and Help Yourself, For You Are Helping
Your Fellnw-Students
COM E AND SPEND A PLEASANT HOUR AT

THE NEW LYRIC
EX( ' E LLE:\'T

P ICTl' IU:S- HEFINED EXTEI{TA 11\ .:\J EN TSFOR SENT D IENT ONLY

~ I E!tELY

1K ritl~ ' £l ]hutilruilh~
liAS BEEN SECPRE D. A S (T l{E GUA RA NTEE AGAINST
F UT l ' IU~ BOY COT!':-;. ALL LOUD AP I' LAU~E ANI>
BOISTEIU>US COXD ITCT DI~COUlL\GED, RUT
POSIT! \. ELY NO PRO~ECUTIOXS )L\ DE

I. WEINBERG, PROPRIETOR

HUYLER'S CANDY

STATIOl\ERY

McCrum's
McCRUM DRUG COMPANY

OUR NEW SODA FOUNTA IN IS ONE OF THE
CI-IlEF ATTRACT IONS OF THE TO\VI\
PERFECTLY EQL' IPI'El>

PI
Telephone No. 57

LEXINGTON
PIPES

VIRGINIA
TOBACCO

TilE

UNIVERSITY COMMONS
J. (;, RISIIOR
0!'\

THE

C\ \I Pl"S

T il E CO:\I.l\101\:S is condu{l:ed in co-operation
with W. & L. University exclu sively for s1•Jdents.
entirel y new. a ll modern improvements. \Ve
make eating a pleasure instead of a necessity.
We serve every thing good to eat.
ASK OUR PATHO.:'\S

J AMES G. RISHOR
- -T O - -

Washington and Lee University Students
I TIIA:'\K YOU FOR 1'.\ST FA YOHS
I \\'ANT YOl'R Bl' SIXESS
sell Clothing, Shoes, ll ats, Caps, < ;e nt s' Furnish ings,
T ru nks, Dress Suit Cases. I make Sui ts a nd Pant s to
Ord er. !'rices r e;jso n ab le. Fits guaranteed . TRY l\1 E.
Agent for RALSTON AND FELLO\\'CRAFT SHOES, .-\1'\D
HoWARD & FosTER SHoE:-;. u...,,... I RENT DRESS SL'ITS.
I tickle you with ads; tickk nw with yo ur patronage.
Respectfully.

J. ED. DEAVER
I' II ONE 25

:-:

~lAIN

STREET, LEXI.:'\GTON. \'II{(;INL\

'!'"'•

JINGO

DADDY
DADDY

,£

Doc

JOHN L .
Arlo Jlt-160

~OBL(.

DOAK_

TAYLOR SWEATERS MILEY'S LIVERY
J OHN \\'. 1\ IIL EY. Prop"r
Are known throughout the
College World as Quality
Sweate rs at the right price.
You can order direc t from
us by mail if you wi s h

Stylish Driving Horses
Stree t Surr eys
Transfer \Vagons

ALEX. TAYLOR & CO.
,\thll'lic Outfitte1·s
Jefferson Street
H1 E. ·1:.!<1 St .

l\'E\\" YOI{K

Oppositl' ll otel Man h att an

LEXINGTON, \'II{Gil\'IA

~

..

:·"""
.. \ '·!: o4 : It'

THe:.

BALL FIGHT

1ilutrh 1hut
)

RESTFUL
COMFORT ABLE
H OI\1E-LIK E

tlr~~~
(JL It~ J-:~
~r!U~i~ ~-·!..
FOUN'mlN PEN ;~

LECTURE NOTES

-\._

Students wi ll find M oo re ' s /he pen lor jotti ng
d own lect ure note s and lor use in classroom.
Carry it any way in poc k ~ t or ba g, right aid ~ up o r

Open All Hours

u pside d own. II w o n't l ~ak. A nd w h~n you are
ready to write, it will slart w11h tht- first stro ~ ~.
G t> t T\1 oor~ 's and pt-rf~ct 'alisfa ct.ion. If your d~al~r
dors not ca rry T\l oore' e, send us his name and a dd rM.S ,
togt""ther wi th you rs, a nd we v. ill see tha t you have a n
MY~rlm e n t to ch oose f rc m .

Eu ropean P lan

Prices $2.50, $3 .50 and up

4 2 Wa>hinglon St.

ADAMS. CUSHING & FOSTER
16X Dcvon8hlre St., Bos ton , :\I us .
Selling Ag ents for AMERICAN FOUHTAIH PEH CO.

L EXINGTON

V IRGI!'\IA

T hi s Cata )oj.!Ul' S h o uld Be In The
H a nds of Every On e Inte rested
in A thl et ic Sport

T ht' tntl'rcollvgi.Ite Bureau of
Academic Cm-t ume

.l!a il1d F'rtt'

E x perit"nced users a gree
th a t Wrig ht & Du son arti·
cl es a re superio r . They are
d esign ed and m ade by nw n
wh o a re expert s, a n d who
kn ow how to use the goods
th emse lv ~s.

Compl ete equipme nt for
La wn T ~ n n i s, Baseba ll .
<;olt. Cricket . T rac k and
Field S ports. Basket-ball.
F ootba ll a nd La wn G anH:~s.
Wright & Ditson Lawn
Tenms Guid e. 10 Cent s.
Wright & Dit son Ras e
ba ll Guide. 10 Ce nt s.
To SA \'E TI M E, ADDRESS Oll R NE AR EST ST U RE

\VRIGIIT & DITSON
344 Washington Street, Boston, Mass.
NEW YORK

22 Worrrn SL
PROVIDENCE. R I
76 w.,boSS
CHICAGO
SAN FR~NCISCO
11 9 N. Wabosh A"
359 M or~•l Sl.
CAMBRIDGE . MASS.
HanardSquue

COTRELL & LEONARD
:11.\h E HS OF

CA PS, G0\\' 1\'S Al\'D

HOODS
ro tlw .-\nw rKan Coll n.!l'S and
l 'nin·rsit ies. t romthe .-\ tlantic
t o tlw Pac itic. Class Contracts
a Sfll'Cialty.
Corn•ct l1eg:rt·c
O utfits. J.! ich ( ;O\\ ns lor Pul
pit and Ht·nch.

I~I

..

·

STRAIN & PATTON
jfurni£ll)rr£l
We a re Agents for Strauss Bros.' Fa mou s ll igh-Art Insured Clothing
We l\l a ke Cl oth ing to Orde r a nd Cu ara nt ee a Fit
We ca rr y a full lin e of Ge nt s' F urni s hin gs,
Shoes, Ha ts, Suit Cases, Etc.
W E SOLICIT T ilE ST ll i>E:"' T I'ATIW:"' ,\< ;E

Opposite Lexington Hotel, Lexington. Va.

IRWIN & COMPANY
Bn_> @oolHJ, j1otion £l. ©rorrrir£l
l3oot£l anb :§hor£l
BOA T CHE\\' RIBB0.:-1 ,\ND BlJ NT I:"'< ; N O\\' OX JL\;\;1>
I' Xri{0;\1 ,\(; E OF F ,\C ULTY , \ !\: I>
STI TIJEi'JTS SOLI C ITE!>

TELEI'IIO:-.:E No. 59

No.

~

\Vdl !\ lain Street, Lexing ton. Va.

lrhcn in need of

THE

LIVERY

Lexington
Hotel

Or Baggage Transferred
Cal l on Ct'~7\l~GI!,\~I & SoN, O p.
Norfolk and \\' estern Station at
Bu ena Vista, Va.
\\'il l be glad
of any orders for Boat Race.
Satbfaction <;uaranteed.
I'HO\'E l':o.

F. D. CUNN !i\iC HA:\1

~I

CUNNINGHAM & SON
.-------------------------,

GORRELL
THE NELSON STREET DRUGGIST
Prescriptions
a Spetia/ly

Special Hatt·s to Students and
.\thktic Tt·ams. "T h at's ,\II."

.-------------------------~

Crystal Palace
Barber

Shop
~

Conklin's Self-Filling
Fountain Pens ·
Stationery
\Vhit man's Celebrated Candy
Chapin-Sachs Ice Crt>am
Suda \\'ater
l'ure Unadulterated

G~a~~a

BILLIARil PARLOR
11': REAR

I I Snttlh Jeffer!
I

~~:":2.'5~1:~12•~tCSi~2!J2.5"2.Sl~l{c<:S>Ia~ns<2.!k>j(·~e"2.,SJ\~rli2~r"~2.SJi~nl2isaCSi~2!i&

I_..)"OilS T:tiloi·i11~

Coillp:til)T

FOR COLLEGE l\1E N
Th e Making of Coll ege J\len's Clothes
h as been Our St u dy for Y ea r s
Tr y U s a nd See the R esu lt s

CO H

~

E H

~L\ I~

ami ~ E LSO~

l . E X I N (i T 0 N ,

STHEETS

YIHGINIA

Drink

Hotel Roanoke

Lemot1-Kola

Roanoke, Virginia

~5 c.~

I
H

I

OPEN ALL THE YEAR

E
HEINS'

I

I

N

s·
R0.\:\01\:E

For Ratt.·o;;. Etc. ,

\'WGI:\ IA

.-\ddrl·~s

F. E. FOSTER, Prop'r

A. H. FETTl N G
1\lanu/atlurer of

Greek L ette r

Fraternity jewelry
1\l"mo randum P ac ka ge Sent to
Any Fraternity 1\lember
l hrough th e Sec r e tary of th e
Chap ter

.:-;pecial Desi g ns a nd Estimates Furnished on Class Pins,
l~in gs, 1\ leda ls for Athletic 1\ lee ts, Etc.
1 HlPORA RY LOCATION:

213 North Liberty Street, BALTIMORE, MD.

I

UR PRINTED PRODUCTS are the
highest attainment in workmanship
of the .. Pride in Work " craftsmen
who set the type, engrave the plates,
print and bind the long list of highclass " College Annuals ", View Booklets, Catalogues, and general firSt quality commercial
printing that is continually passing through our
plant.
This craftsmanship, our efficient office force,
and an Art Department of experienced designers, make a complete organization which positively assures our patrons of gratifying results.

Lexingto11 Pool
CoillJlail)"

THE

STUDENTS' WINTER RESORT
WE ADVERTISE.

WE WANT YOU TO PATRON IZE

OUR EQUIPMENT IS UNEXCELLED

Uur

M allrlfJCI' is

~E\\.

SOB..\

''

0 11 th e Job"

FOI T ~T..\1~

G E.N. LE E 'v

PR O F

OF"FICE.

L ONG .

CI\PT

MORA.N

C.AMPU5

r ,,

~ ···.

•
·J
-

_...
"PRE.SIONS'

.

~ -F
--':!
.

). ·~

i

.• r

1

UNIVERSITY
PARLOR

A NEW L Y EQUIPPED POOL ROOl\1
ATTACIIED
Next Door to Post O llice

Lexing ton li ntel Building

FANCY DRE55 B ALL

Uirrt•fiuu
I. WEI:-i ii EIII;

Ope n llay and Jllij.!ht
Eun>pcan Plan

l\ll•als Cooked to Order
Q u ic k and Clean Scn·icl'

Lexington
Restaurant
$3.50 l\leal T ick ets Redu ced to $3.00
Cn ut·tl•o us Trcatnu·nt
Satisfac tion Gum·anteed

\\"A i lE :\L\STEHS
l'ropri c tot·

.

.
....,._..

FANCY DRE.55 BALL

JACKSON"S BARBER SHOP
'Che Old Reliable

T H E S TUDENT S '
F RI E N D

GEN. LEE' S O L D
BARBER

13 NELSON ST.

LEXINGTON

VIRGINIA

COLLEGE STATIONERY
Sp ecialties
DIE STAMPED BOX PAPER AND TABLETS
WRITE US FOR S A MPLES AND PR IC ES

?Tinters and .\!anu/acluring
Stationers

THE McCLURE COMPANY , INC.
STAUNTON, VIRGINIA

Und£>r w ood5, L. C. S mith5 , R emington!! . E tc.

:~

~

tlfll1.

u u

to

~2

MFRS. PRICES

Shipped A ~Y \\' H E R E for Fr~e Tri<1l.or R EN T ED
allnwin q RI-. ~T 'I 0 APPLY

~RICES $15.00 UP l;~~~~G~~;~n~~:.'~:~~~~

fo r Jll ustr:\tt" rl. C:lt
Yo ur Ofl l" 'rt un\! v.
T YP E \\'Rl fER E:\IP U H. I U M,
M ake
the

S A V 0 Y Your Amusement Headquarters
BEST PICTURES-

A

CORDIAL

LATEST MUSIC

WELCOME
7 :3 0 TO 10 P. M.

TO

A LL

.

. -r

.

~--==';:.~-:-~~~~

.,
I

lL4TCHJTAKEH AND J E WELER
LEX I:-\CTO:\ IIOTEL Bl'ILD ii\G
Full Liuc• ul'

u . . :-.il:u"" Hlul

Colle·~ ... l• • wc•I.y

Furuh.lu•cl for Frnf. Pi11!'ot

"'HIGHT. IL\Y &

CO~IPANY JH T ILDJ~(i

:.!07-:.!11 WOOUW .\HH

JJ . -\N I(

Ol~

E~Hu•u~c·""

AYE~PE

Il
Capital. $65.000

Surplu s. $40.000

OFFICEII~

I'Al' L l\ 1 P E NIC K. President
\\' . C . STll.\ RT, \ 'ir<· l're>ident
J. T. !I ILC I
TilE

S o . C\~IP BE LL. Cash i,•r
A . f. W ,\!JE . Assistant Cash ier
Boo kh~ pt·r

~TOHE

COLLE(iE

SODA ,f .\TEH. ICE

FOH

BOY~

C HEA~I.

ETC.

RIBBON

SOCIETt~S

;§• f~l ff : fRaru It~alihttht

_\ :' 1t l.'S

[~llll.':' l.'
FOR

§rutinttr!J

1

I

FOR

WOMEN

YOUNG

LADI ES

1§-tauntlln . ll a.

DECATUR. GA

Two miles from Atlanta
Next

ses~ 1on

bt•Jdns St""ptembl'r lt\th.

H~l2

Term be~l 'nsurp~ts~ed climate. beautiful ~rounds and
modern appointments. Studt:nts past ~t"·.;sion
from
r:ntt:·r

31

~tate;-,_

tHl\'

~END

FOR

FULL

INFORMATION

Pu n1 ls

FOR CAT ALO Gl'E

E. C. \VEii\IAR, Principal

B UY YOUR

3f nth'ruitu

-

OF TilE BETTER

:O.IUDER.\TE.

ADDRESS

l\II SS

illa~nr~1

Terms

tune

Coal, Wood
Gl~r\()E

J\1ANl ' FAC.:: fi Tf
In'

AND

Kindling

Burr Patterson & Company
DETIW IT , l\ II CI I.

FRO~ I

Robinson &Hutton Co.
\\'e Cater EsJ1t··ci ally to th t•

\\" !liTE FOil CAT.-\1.0 \.l'E OF

FraternitiL'S
W li. L l' H:Ft\T Yol' IUCUT

FHATEI<:-I I TY 1'1 :--IS A;o.;D
)EWELHY

( 'ur ..\ 'ci>

and .k[/;

r.
,

.-

,._...,

...

r..• ....

~

... t.

I•
\.. ,

oj.

(

GRAHA~I'S
T HE

S H U £'

PL AC E

VARSITY MEN'S
FOOTWEAR AN D
HATS II E ,\ !1 .\~ : ~~:; ~;~

.Yo.

Tll'l'i!', . .lluin ·"'lrcrl.

Lilley Uniforms
Skilled mi li ta ry tail ors
make them to vour indi vidua l order an.d measure,
and a perfect fit is g uar a nt eed The high es t
quality of ~e l ec ted materials only a r e used in
the manufacture of our
umforms; the linings
a nd tnm mings, e tc.,a re
all minutelv tes ted a nd
pro\' e n P. R E C I S E L Y
perfect in every detai l
of co nstruct ion, a nd
your Liller unform is
guara nteed e nti r e l y
sa ti:>factory a nd perma nently perfect - NO
FLA WS.
Tlw majont:r of colleges
and military schoo ls in
:\nwri ca contract for Lil ley uniforms.

Write for Prices and Catalogue

Arldrr.'is

The M.C.Lilley &Co.
t: OI . I ' .\llli ' S , OIIIO

Lf,'X/.\"(;Tn.Y.

l".·\.

SHEI{IDAN'S

LO \ VE R :\l A I N STR EE T

~I
The Bes1 and Cheapest
in T own

THE

Storrs-Shaefer
Colllpany
CINCINNATI
OHIO

\[ailor£1
FOR COLLEGE

MEN

H.L. PEEBLES
REPRESESTATI\'E

~

I

GRAHAM & CAMPBELL
Lo cal

A~ents

Jf RR.'(

BULLE..Tot'l i30ARD

fRE.~H

TtU.

f.OITOI'(

AtU:>

T~E.

MArV,6L~

Frantz Automobile

War fie Id Bay Iey

Corporation

Motor Co.

A utonwhilc.'>

Rcpairi11y, 8turaw
Accessor ies

f or H i rr
the best T ire
Repair Plant in t he
Sout h. A man of
J illt rl• ·•·n ye ar s '
I'X JH ' J" i i'IH'I ' in t he
tire fact or y. T ry
us on either phone
1177
1111d

AGENCY:

OVERLAND

MOTORETTE

CAR S FOR HI RE
S pe cia l Ra tes to
St udents

408 So. JEFF E H SON STHEET

2 -12-1 :\I AI:'I: ST .. PIIO:'\E 2·121

H0,\ 1\'01\:E, \ ' A.

LY:'\ C IIB U H(; , \ ' A.

Bennett Schenk Drug

Shenandoah
Hotel

Company
31 C AI\I PBELL A\' ENUE

ll/akC' 011 r .','lure l'uu r
H cwlqllctl'fCI's
C] Use Ou r Phone

European Pla n
\\' . T.R AR BOLIR
JlaiW fJ«' r

R OANO KE'S NE \\' II OTEL

Expert Service at
Fo un tain . F u II
line CAN DY, CJ
GARS & DR UG GIST S' SUN l>RI ES

An up -to-da te Res ta u ·
r ant in connecti on with
the ll otel. Rates: Rooms
$ 1.00; Roo ms with ba th
$1.50 a nd $2.00. Sec
the biy ,.,rl'lrir sign

HO ANOKE, VIRG INI A

ROANOKE, VIRG INIA

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THE

~R i DGE

"Till>' S/IU/' UF
Graham & Campbell
FURNISHINGS
HATS

AND

SHOES

CROFUT-KNAPP COMPANY'S HATS
BATES-STREET AND EARL & WILSON SIIIRTS
NETTLETON AI\'D I~EGAL SHOES
1\u. 4

~!Ali'\

LEX! GTON, VA.

STREET

OPI'. ADA:\IS EXPI
ESTABLISH ED 1818

DURABLE l\1ATERIALS. EXCLUSIVE
STYLES. l\lODEI~ATE PRICES
IN OT HER THINGS :\S WELL:

English Shirts. Neckwear. Unclen\'ear. ll osiery, ll ats. Shoes, Trunks. Bags and
Traveling Cases
S J·: S /I

FU!:

/1,/.I 'STJ:..t TI-.'/1

('.\ T.· \I.Ul;t'I·:

COAC H 'PRATT

CAPT MO O MAW

"PEEP

CAPT .. ANtliS

BUCK

MILEY & SON
~arbon ~tubio

WilE="' I="' HO .\="'Oii:E
YISIT

EYEHYTIII="'(i (iOOH TO EAT
SEHYICE ( l ="'EXCELLED

ON THE..

_Rt VE.R

"flu .

~lod.-.1

ll as been the student s ' shop for tw en ty·
four years The same high ·class work and
courlt"ous treatm ent that gave this shop its
n a me yea rs ago. is given now
Not all the
same barbers. to be su r e ; but the capab le c la ss of w orkm en, using modern
methods a nd all th e latest appl iances found in a progressive barber shop.
\\'e a r e up to the titr.es

BarhPr Shop

9 NoRTH i\ IAIN STREET

BRANC H OFFI CE
L EXING TO N STEA M LAL' NDRY

L EX INGTlJN. \'IR GINIA

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l{orf\bribgr

j2r\u£l

LEXINGTON. VA.
Covers a ll import a nt n ews of Washington a nd Lee University. th e \ 'irg ini a
Milit ary Ini titute, th e Town of Lex in gt on and th e County of Rock bridge. Published
eve ry Thursday.

$1.00 A YEAR - CASII \\'!T il TilE O IWER
n

@ 1rlh ce §it at TI1l cdlcru rrdl

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Wat_@man's
llifeal )
Foun@ffPen
Ask your d~·akr to sho w you the l{ej.!ular, Sakty a nd Self.F illi nj.! t ypes

lJEJ!f©Jib~JrlTITil©llTil ~)!0

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TI7J IE)w~©l~W
E STA HLJ SH EU

CH1\S.

~f.
~l a. nuf u c ~urer

STIEFF l. PIANOS
SHAWl

AND

1.., -1 :.!

STIEFF
o f th eo

STIEFF tPLAYER-PIANOS

THE S H A \ VI =======

Sold Direct from Factory to the Home. Write for Catalog and Prices
Special Prices to Fraternities

CIL-\S.

~I.

STIEF!~

BRANCH FACTORY WAREROOMS : 71 6 Main St., LYNCHBURG, VA.

c.

\V. WHITJ\IOR E, 1\IANAGER

COLLEGE ENGRAVER, PRINTER
AND STATIONER

llOtl CHESTJ\'UT ST •• I'IIILAIIELI'IIIA

Commencement In vita ti ons, Dance In vitations an d Programs, Menus,
Fraternity Inserts and Stationery, Class Pins, Vi si tin g
Ca rds, Wedding Announcements
and Invitations

S . \~II'I.E"'

CIIEE III' ULL\" Sl<::>iT 0:-i

HEIH ' EST

BI C IDIONB , \'IIHJI.:"\IA

The la rgest eng raving establis hment in the South . Es tablished more t ha n a
qua rter of a Century
Culling Curol,.., \\' ••oldiuc nud Sorirly luvifnfiouN , :\lruu ... Buuf'<'
l'rogrnHJIIH' N uuol Frnfrruil y Slnfiourr y

YOUR KODAK MAN
SUSSMAN

''

A R T I S T 1 C F R A 1ll 1 N G
223 PARK AVENUE

BALTIMORE. MD.

W. C. STUART
UNIVERSITY
TEXT BOOKS
STATIONERY AND
SPORTII\'G GOODS
AN[l EVERYTHING
P ERT AINJNG TO O('R
Bl151NESS

OPPOS ITE T HE C OU RTHOUS E

CO L LEG I ATE DI SCOUNT

J. M. STEIN & CO.
\VASHI NGTON, D. C.

HIGH- CLASS TAILORING
1;'11 E\' E RY IJ E T A IL

AT :\IOHEHATE PHICES
JUST BELOW '' F " ON THIRTEENTH